A Talk With 1991 Me

By Ken Sheetz

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot. ~Michael Althsuler

A talk with 1991 meIt’s 2014 as I meditate in my new Sedona home to be in contact with my 1991 self.  I see myself at age 39 working late in my 303 West Madison offices in downtown Chicago on the 19th floor.  All the staff has gone home.  I’m working harder and longer than everyone as usual.

It’s January 4, 1991.  Snow drfits past the big dual pane office windows.

I glance from the windows at an invite on my desk.  I’ve been invited to a late New Year’s Eve office party that a competitor property is throwing in the east Loop.  I’m debating on going.  Parties are not my thing in 1991 or today.  My brain hurts at parties.  I am a one on one person.

I can see 1991 me gazing nervously across the street at the under construction skyscraper I am the managing partner for, One North Franklin.  I am tense as hell because the curtain wall, the very skin of the building is badly behind schedule.  I am in danger of losing $ 8 million in guarantees if the building is late in delivery.  So 1991 me paces the office like a caged beast.

Back in 2014 I am thrilled to discover this time machine compartment of my brain.  One that’s always been there waiting for me to open the hatch and fire it up.  I easily read my 1991 mind:

“Damnit.  I wonder if the GC (general contractor) is still working?  Should I try to chew his ass out now for screwing up my building or wait to Monday?” says my angry 1991 self.

I’ve always had conversations in my mind with myself like this over important matters.  — Way before my spirit awakening in 2010 where I met ET spirits that looked like angels in Italy that put me on missions to help the planet through meditation, missions that have taken me as far as Antarctica. — So this seems like a perfect time to answer myself.  And the way this works, dear reader, is it’s done in real-time as I type, so pardon my typos.

“It won’t matter.  Nothing you do is going to save this project.  Go home to your wife and kids,” I say to my 1991 me.

1991 Ken stops cold in his pace of panic, “Where did that voice come from?”  1991 me hurries to door and looks up the empty hallway.

“I’m in your head,” I say to 1991 me.

“Gloria said I was working too hard and would go nuts.”

“Your wife is right about the working too hard part.  But you are not going nuts,” I say finishing a plate of hash.
A phone call from a client breaks my connection to 1991 Ken.  An hour later I find in his emerald-green Jaguar driving home to Lake Forest.

“I’m back.” I say in 1991 Ken’s mind almost making him swerve the car off the freeway.

“Who are you and how are you inside my head?” demands 1991 me.

“Who do I sound like?” I say.

“Dad?” 1991 me worries.

“Way off.  I’m you, Ken Sheetz 23 years in the future.” I offer gently trying not to sound like the father we both hate for playing mind games with us as a kid.

“You’re me, time traveling from the future like Dr. Who in my head?  Ha.  Prove you’re me.  Tell me something about me no one else could possibly know, ” says Ken of 1991 turning down the Jag’s radio playing the Rolling Stones.  ’91 Ken’s free to talk out loud in the privacy of his traveling the express lanes of the Kennedy.

I don’t need to think long and I offer sadly, “You and your wife had a terrible fight on your honeymoon night when she didn’t want sex.”

“Jesus, you are me.  Or maybe just me going nuts.  My own voiced aged up in my head,” says ’91 me.

“I can prove I’m real with telling you what will happen tomorrow.  Give me a sec to Google January 5, 1991 news.” I say.

“What’s Google?” says ’91 Ken.

“A company that will become to source of all factual knowledge on earth by 2014.   I am using it to research… ah, here’s something cool that’s going to happen tomorrow January 5, 1991 that you can use to tell yourself this is all very real, me contacting you telepathically from the future.  Redskins 20 – Eagles 6.  Redskins win’s final scoring drive is a field goal in the third quarter.  And in case you need more proof Randall Cunningham will pass for exactly 205 yards in the game.  Impossible to guess that stat.”

“Well, so a future stock on an oracle called Google and the score of a playoff game.  Hope this is real,” ’91 me says.

“It is real as that Jaguar you won’t be driving much longer, ” I say sadly.

“What?  Am I going to get into a car accident tonight?” shouts ’91 me, eyes darting at the busy Chicago traffic ahead.

“Worse.  You heading for the meltdown of your entire financial life.  You’ll be returning the Jaguar to the dealer on foot in a year,” says 2014 me sitting at my desk in Sedona feeling like shit and wondering what use it is warning my past self about all this.

“How does this all unravel so fast?”

“A wave of commercial loan failures has the banks taking properties back.  By 1994 almost every building in the Loop will have gone back to the lenders.  Your building, our building, One North Franklin, we be the pioneer, the poster child, in the banks seizing commercial properties and driving rents into sub 1970 levels.  No loan will be sustainable.  But since you are the first Barclays Bank is going to annihilate you for their losing $80 million on the project.  You’ll be hung out to dry as an example to…”  I am interrupted in 2014 by client Nick Edwards who loves calling me on weekends, holidays and evenings.  In other words on my time off.  Poor 1991 me has to wait 15 minutes for to get back to Ken ’91.

“Sorry, I have a job in social media here in the future.  My hours are nuts, ” I say.

“What the hell is social media?” 1991 me says.

“The future.  Starts after a dot-com bust of 2000.  Only invest in Amazon.com and get some Apple stock. ”

Me in 1991 has progressed to the Edens expressway on the commute home to my million dollar home in the affluent suburb of Lake Forest.   A home I will lose in the crash of ’91.

“Why am I’m not working in real estate anymore in 2014?” 1991 says, half glad I am back and half not.

“By 1992 you’re poor as a kid out of college, but brokerage keeps you afloat.  By 1995 you start becoming a filmmaker and leave for a life in Hollywood in 2002.  You never look back.  You’re happy being an artist even though the money sucks,” I say.

“Gloria would never let that happen, ” says Ken 1991.

“She dumps you in 1992 when you fall off the money wagon, with a lot of help from how depressed and angry you are about losing your ass from the skyscraper repo.  So you’re free to be the artist you went to college to be,”  I say trying to make it all sound wonderful.  But I can read the rising fear and panic in my 1991 self, a self that’s still riding high and worth about $12 million at the time.

“This is more than I can handle.  I hope it’s my overactive imagination and the Redskins lose tomorrow, ” 1991 me says sadly.

“Seriously, it’s all going to be for the best.  You are a great person.  You don’t need the Jaguar, the million dollar mansion, the skyscraper, it’s all a trap.  You are about to be set free, ” I say brightly in Ken 1991’s sad mind that seems to be filling with quicksand that’s making it hard for me to stay connected to him.

“Bullshit.  You’re not telling me all the truth, ” says 1991 me.  I forgot how tough and vicious I could be in 1991.  I was Chicago’s most ruthless real estate broker.  Number one according to the Chicago Sun Times in 1987 and soon to be 1991 developer of the year for building Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo studios while building One North Franklin.  No wonder I had no time for my wife and kids.  Yeah, I’ve forgotten how super tough I had to be to get to the top of Chicago’s real estate world.  And I was driven by showing my asshole of a drill sergeant father I was better than him.

“It won’t be easy for you.  Gloria has all the assets in her name to protect everything from the banksters, what we call the obviously fucked up hucksters of finance in 2014.  In 1992 Gloria preemptively files for divorce while you separate.  She hires the toughest divorce lawyer in Chicago.  A ruthless SOB who takes every last dime you have left after the skyscraper goes back to the lender.  Worst part of all this is that her preemptive move breaks your heart.  You’ve, um, we were sweethearts since college.  You don’t see the divorce coming even though you are a ego tripping dick and hard as hell to live with.  You end up broke as hell most of the rest of your life after the skyscraper fails, and the divorce hamstrings you, until 2009 when you start a company called BuzzBroz and get back on your feet,” I quickly tell my 1991 self.

“I won’t let any of this shit happen.” says 1991 me bitterly as he pounds the steering wheel.  He outweighs 2014 me by 20 pounds and he’s strong as a bull.  I’d forgotten how strong I was.  Once in a fit of rage I broken a wooden chair in toothpicks with my bare hands..

“You can’t change history,” I say grimly, the voice of my own doom.

“I’ve almost read every science fiction ever written.  Using what you’ve told me I simply need to take steps to do things different from you did and presto, new future, ” 91 me says.

“That would mean I wouldn’t do my film career.  Wouldn’t become spiritually in 2010 awake filming a SoulDrama workshop in Italy where I saw ET angels that gave me these powers and so I would never be able to telepathically connect to you to share what I just shared.  Paradox,” I say.

“So why tell me all this shit?” 91 me shouts.  I had a loud mouthed temper back then.  Some people think I still do.  But I am as gentle as a mouse in 2014 compared to 1991.  I am bully at home with my loud voice.  My kids trembled in fear of me though I never hit them.  My voice was force of nature. No wonder Gloria divorced 1991 me.

“What if when I change the past a new future splits off?  No paradox then.  You simply become one version of my 2014 possible selves in that scenario,” 1991 me says in excitement, voice tinged with the grace of genius.

“That’s actually quite possible!  It’s a 21st century quantum physics theory called multi-verses.   Maybe that’s why I called you.  To give one of my futures that chance to beat fate,” I say in wonder.

As my savvy 1991 self pulls onto the snowy street of my Lake Forest mansion I quickly add, “Gloria’s a good woman who listens to her mother too much.  She’ll stand with you if you’re kinder and gentler with her.  No other person you ever date or love is going to click with you like Gloria does.  Get out of the skyscraper deal before the spring.  Take whatever you can get because or you end up with less than nothing.  Get a job in corporate films.  Filmmaking in Hollywood is a closed system.  You waste ten years of your life out there before waking up spiritually in Italy with the DreamShield and eventually living in Sedona.  Staying married might save the relationship with your/my kids, who become seriously fucked up by the divorce.  One almost kills themselves as a teen and both never speak to you in 2014,” I say as 1991 me pulls into the driveway.

1991 me is crying now and says, “For the kids sake most of all, thanks for all the info, future me.  It rings true.  So I’m putting big money on the Redskins to win 20-6 tomorrow.  You better be right or I swear I’ll hire a scientist to invent a time machine , find you in 2014 and beat your ass.”

We each have a tearful laugh.  My 1991 sense of humor shows the heart is still there and he adds, “With the Redskins winnings I’ll start a small corporate film biz, always wanted to make movies.  Our psychic mom always said advertising was what I should be doing.  I’ll dump my partnership in the skyscraper to Smeltzer (not real name the guy might sue 2014 me he’s such a dick) who’s always wanted to be top dog.”

“Whoa.  Be sure you get that deal in bank first.  Don’t give up control to Smeltzer until you do.  In my timeline Zeller cannot complete the deal to me for getting out as I started too late in the fall on 1991 but Smeltzer takes over anyways without giving me a penny.  Understandable.  Smeltzer’s clever.  So he won’t be hurt, except for his pride, when the market falls.  No bad karma in unloading to Smeltzer.  Smart, you 1991 Ken.  But don’t be greedy take whatever Smelter offers you.  But cash in that bank is king, Kenny boy.  Get it from the jerk, or someone else in the partnership, and good luck.  Speaking of good luck, call your corporate film biz BuzzBroz.  That’s what I call mine in 2009.”

BuzzBroz, I like this name. Of course I would.  I think of it!  Any more stock tips or football tips for me about the future?” laughs Ken, chomping at the bit at change the future.

“You already know enough to be a billionaire ten times over.  Enough fucking greed!” I say surprised at my anger with my 1991 self.  “Greed is killing this world in 2014.  Instead use the wealth of your knowledge of the future to help find ways to stop a thing called chemtrails from happening, work on a ending poverty.  Be your childhood super hero.  BE Superman! — And I do have some better tips for you than stocks.  Get some fucking therapy for all the shit we went through as kids with mom and dad.  Especially our drill Sargent dad.  I didn’t do therapy until after the divorce when I almost killed myself from a suicidal depression.”  I say.

“Christ, I hope I can save my family or this gets grim.” 1991 says.

“Yes. Grim than I will share today, but you get through it because you are made of indestructible stuff.  Your wife and kids may not be as lucky.  One of them almost killed themselves after you got ejected from Lake Forest.  So you need that therapy help to save the marriage, to save your/our family.  Your/our father really fucked us up BIG TIME.  No shame in that.  You can be fixed with therapy!  An anger guru named Mitch Messer can clear up your anger issues in less than a year.  Make you a master of you old childhood rage.  Love yourself enough to do that for you and failing loving yourself do it for Gloria and the kids.”

“Ok, Ok, I’ll do it.  Mitch Messer.  OK.  Anger management.  I’ll do it.  Sheesh.  Guess I’m a nag by 2014,” kids 1991 me.

“Fuck you, I mean fuck me.  — And change your priorities.  Put the kids numero uno.  They need you more than you can ever know.  You are worthy of their love and Gloria’s.  Stop thinking your wife and kids are stupid to love a jerk like you.  Family first, that includes our brothers and mom.  See less of your father looking for something that ain’t there.  He’s hopeless.  Never matures to the day he dies.  He was born for one thing.  To fuck us up. —  Learn to meditate.  Live from the heart and only take on clients with heart.  Our world is dying of a lot things in 2014.  Work supporting clients looking to support a better world.  Look up a scientist named Patrick Flanagan at a company called PhiSciences and tell him Ken Sheetz of 2014 sent you.  He will believe you.  He amazing and part of my being able to reach you is from a thing he invented called the Neurophone that boosts IQ.  Not a plug.  Get one.  It will make all this easier for you.”

1991 me pulls into the driveway of my heavenly million dollar home I/we designed personally.  Ken ’91 opens the door to the huge kitchen, wondering if it’s too late to save his family life.  Gloria and our two kids, Jon and Janelle, ages 12 and 9, run to the door to greet 1991 me with hugs and kisses.  And in that very instant Ken 1991 and Ken 2014 both know that it’s  not too late.

I am in tears as I close the blog.  This really happened(s).  This is not fiction.  I save(d) a family.  My own.

And I did in time to take my daily meditation hike in Sedona.  Peace!

2 thoughts on “A Talk With 1991 Me

  1. I get it Ken, as I have met my future self in 3033, and I have visited distant past lives. I love the depth and vulnerability of the sharing of your experience.
    I have often thought what if, and then ask myself if I could change anything would I? Answer no, nothing. I also know that I exist on all other possible timelines were I made a different choice.

    Namaste
    Sindy

    Like

  2. Pingback: Nonlinear Existance | bluebutterfliesandme

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