THE BIG PICTURE BEHIND TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY

As the right and left media roils for ratings in this strange era’s, love him or hate him, craziest presidency ever, I just received some surprising insights from my ET spirit guide Ohom (Open Heart Open Mind) as to what our meditations in 2017 at the Trump inauguration looked like on spirit plane.

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It’s January 20, 2017 again. Elizabeth and I nervously stand amongst the mostly MAGA hat wearing crowd, sporting instead our CME penguin hats. Each time Hillary appears on camera the crowd jeers, “Lock her up!”

Two grizzled beer drinkers jeer each time Obama or Michelle appear on the Jumbo-tron nearby. It’s an ugly scene. Neither Elizabeth or I really want to be here. This is not the America we grew up in. And it is especially not the one Elizabeth served 17 years in the military to defend.

But we have dutifully followed Ohom’s simple instructions to go to this “largest ever” inauguration, and hold space of love for Trump in this power intoxicated crowd. We do our best to bless Trump’s presidency; that it ultimately be good for the planet, or to at very least do as little harm as possible.

Oddly, I sense this crowd, one that should be elated on this first day of the Trump administration, is deeply defensive. They literally can’t seem to believe their man Trump really won, even though he’s up on the big stage getting sworn in; Melania frowning behind his back on the Jumbo-tron screen perched atop scaffolding.

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But there something’s very different in this particular meditation replay of the inauguration. A mental replay I’ve run countless times for over 2 years now, trying to make sense of what our crazy mission accomplished in the light of destructive programs for the environment and humanism rolling out almost daily from Trump via Twitter.

THE INAGURARTION TRANSMUTATION MEDITATION

Today Ohom is finally showing me what really happened energetically that fateful day, sealed within the scared Masonic geometry layout of DC. Deep within the low vibrational inaugural crowd, cozy in our own bubble of bliss, sweet Elizabeth and I hold a space of love; just as Ohom guided.

Our loving  meditation crystalizes moisture from the light rain that begins to fall. Our love meditation becomes a diamond-seed that burrows into the wet grass beneath our cold feet. Soon a translucent white energy tree rapidly grows beneath Elizabeth and me. The rapidly growing energy tree sweeps us high above the bristling Trump clan.

My view to the dais greatly improved, I gaze towards the red-faced Donald J. Trump giving a speech former president Bush later observed, “That was some weird shit.”

Agreed. To me this all feels like the birth of the apocalyptic era right out of FALLOUT THREE; a video game that takes place in a mutated and ruined Washington DC 200 years after World War III.

I flinch as Trump’s weird shit “America First” address deeply disrespects Obama’s legacy. Trump behaves as though he’s not inheriting a booming economy but a “smocking” wasteland.

Looking ahead to the dais, I see two other white energy trees carrying other pairs of meditators high above the oddly fidgety crowd.  I wonder to myself, “Maybe the Trump fans are nervous they elected a thin-skinned guy with his trigger finger on the largest nuclear arsenal in history?”

Amazed by this new feeling compassion towards the desperate-for-change Trump’s base, I look back towards the Washington monument. Nine other white trees carrying meditation pairs grow rapidly. The procession of 12 inner lighted white trees leads all the way from the dais to the Lincoln Memorial.

The wise Ohom never let any of our teams know we are working as a meditation group of 12 tree riding pairs until now. I may never know their names, but Ohom tells me the dozen meditation teams represent all races, male and female, and sexual orientation.

Soon, all twelve energy trees are large enough to join their rapidly leafing branches above us the meditation teams. Loving energy pulses through the umbrella of white trees, downloading into the anxious crowd below.

Now all of our teams of meditators hold space for one thing: that the Trump presidency, messy as its likely to be, never result in a launch of World War III.

Ohom tells me telepathically as I write, “Take heart, Ken. All of Trump’s many disconcerting acts he has and is yet to commit during his  presidency are in actuality a sacrifice to your planetary conscious.  The Mars energy of war that has dominated your world since the fall of Atlantis is dying. Trump is but a servant to accelerate its end.”

Even knowing I’ll fail to recall all this and fall at times into anger at Trump’s efforts to get our collective goat, I feel blessed to finally have this gorgeous vision to wrap my head around as to Trump’s higher purpose and hope you do too. This has been a tough two years for we moderates, plus liberals and many conservatives alike.

But whether it’s 2 or 6 years  until the Trump era finally ends, the blink of an eye in the cosmic grand scheme, look for an overnight flip to the next era. One that will make the loving 60s look passe!

And as the barrage of negative news and policies continues 24/7, I suggest you tune out to the ratings driven chatter and join with us in meditation for a better tomorrow. Vote when the time comes but don’t obsess over all this until November 3, 2020 is closer. Advice to myself as much as you, dear reader.

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Please watch the film if you’ve not seen yet or to refresh the 24 planetary healing meditations today!

 

Triumph Over Negative Stories!

From childhood on, one of my super powers has been a gift to tell stories. A gift that’s has served me well in situations ranging from quelling a dangerous drunk to earning me the honor of winning Chicago Sun Times’ number 1 commercial real estate broker back in 1987 to making a feature documentary about Dr. Patrick Flanagan in 2019.

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A professor at a Northwestern speech class spotted my story talent and gave me sage advice to never abuse this power, to always be truthful because people would believe almost anything I say. Something I’ve adhered to my whole adult life.  I never take on a client or market a product I do not believe in wholeheartedly.

Blessedly, through teachings with my love and yogini Elizabeth I’ve learned that I’ve not been so kind when it comes to telling negative stories to myself about my future. I see in meditation this negative energy, like a spear aimed at my own heart, evolved because it felt better to punish myself rather than have my drill sergeant dad do so. In other words, I chose self abuse over parental abuse. Bad lessons from childhood I now release!

Conscious at last of this negative story telling behavior and the self hatred it enfolds, I’ve been able to catch myself and stop telling negative stories about my future and enjoy my happy life with Elizabeth in the paradise of Sedona fully.

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At the Boulder Film Premier of THE COOLEST MEDITATION EVER: ANTARCTICA 12.12.12. Left to right Jonathan Goldman, Andi Goldman, Ken Sheetz, Elizabeth England, Anra Whitebear, Chris Katsaropoulos

I caught a doozie of negative story loop the other day that I’ve been repeating since I was eighteen concerning monthly bills. It went something like this in my internal dialogue, “Ah, I paid this month’s bills but what about next month’s bills? That might not work out…” And the subconscious unspoken part… “and I’ll have to move back under dad’s roof!”

Analyzing the rare times I’ve not been able to make the bills since I was 18-years-old amounts to a tiny fractions of my adult life; like right after a divorce or at the depths of a skyscraper I built losing $80 million.

The truth is 99.9% of the time I’ve met my bills each and every month for over 40 years. And yet, until just now really, I repeatedly have been telling myself the negative pattern story that this coming month might be a financial disaster. That’s a nutty waste of energy on a negative program. Even in that rare 1/10 of 1% of the times things have gone to hell and I could not make the monthly bills I somehow managed to somehow make life work.

For example, in the Great Recession of 2008 when all my Chicago investor money evaporated overnight and my film business teetered on the brink of destruction, I opened a social media company called BuzzBroz to survive on fees versus equity. To this day, ten years later, BuzzBroz pays the bills and gives me the freedom to make my own films outside the closed Hollywood system with my work seen by millions.

In the past I’ve only overcome my negative self-abusing-story telling pattern with a great deal of positive thinking and action.  But that takes a lot of energy. Today I simply free myself from negative stories about the monthly bills, health, relationship, business  and more by shushing my mind when it begins a negative story. After all, decades as a mostly successful adult shows I’ve proven to myself I can handle anything. So why worry?

And this letting go of negative stories applies the world at large as well. Negative “news” about global warming, crime, cancer, GMO, flat earth believers, Trump setting  our nation backward, chemtrails, you name it, I can handle them all on personal level. If for some unforeseen reason I cannot I’ll trust spirit has a lesson for me. And you know what? I’ll deal with that too somehow. So why worry?

The rise in my mood as I’ve let go of negative stories is amazing! I feel emotionally like I’ve learned to fly. The result is that I have far more brain space and energy for manifesting the good stories I typically create in a life filled with blessings; unfettered by the dark side of my gift for story.  I hope you’ll join me in not creating negative stories in your life, otherwise known as worry.

And in my life as a filmmaker I promise you ever more brilliant positive stories to uplift your spirit, as I’ve become mildly famed for over the past 23 years. I gladly leave stories of dystopia and wide spread dysfunction to other writers and filmmakers.

Don’t worry, please, I say to myself too, this will result in pollyanna storytelling. Tension does make for a good story after all. An amazing reality series on Netflix THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF shows there is a global market for stories where people can compete and still love one another.

Check the show out sometime yourself on Netflix. 5 stars and delicious to watch.

 

 

 

Robin Williams Gives Newly Departed Friend a Whale of a Ride

During my stay at Malibu’s Great Spirits Ranch, hosting events and running social media for the bulk of 2012, I was blessed to meet many amazing stars of the LA spirit community.  One of those LA stars is now my partner in love, biz and life, Elizabeth England. We’ve been living in bliss together now for three years, nestled in a lovely home in Sedona.

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Annelise Balfour Couchman (Annalisa)

As we work round the clock to get the word out about an amazing line of EMF protection devices that literally save lives on our new CoolestTechEver.com e-commerce site, it can be easy to actually forget that magical time. A time when all of us in the yoga and meditation community across the planet were looking forward to the end of the Mayan calendar with hope for a new era in human awareness.

In that heady time, there was lovely woman named Annelise (Annalisa) Balfour who visited the Malibu ranch a few times for GSR events. Her mega-watt smile and contagious positive attitude made her a stand-out from the crowds who visited the 14 acres ranch, perched high above the city of Malibu in the Santa Monica mountains. Annelise was curious about my ET spirit guide Ohom and we had great conversation about the mission of the DreamShield to assist in gently elevating human consciousness through meditation.

Yesterday, amidst all the hype on FB surrounding the mid-term elections, which gratefully succeeded in the Dems taking the house to put some check on 45, I was shocked to learn that sweet Annelise had passed away from breast cancer. It instantly put all the nonsense surrounding Trump and our crazy-making politics into perspective.

Monday, at Ross Pittman’s of ConsciousLifeNews.com’s weekly power of eight meditation event, I asked the group to help Annelise on her journey. Everyone eagerly agreed. As soon as we all closed our eyes and dropped into our heart space I connected to my dear spirit guide Robin Williams; now enjoying an oceanic afterlife as a killer whale, after short reincarnations as a blue whale and a blue dolphin. Robin, who calls himself Nanu these days, volunteered to help in the group meditation.

Robin found Annelise’s spirit wandering the beach in Malibu. When she spotted Robin they connected telepathically and he playfully invited Annelise to swim out and climb aboard his back and hang onto his dorsal fin. Annelise happily accepted Robin’s invitation and soon they were off!

Annelise gleefully clung to Robin the killer whale like a mermaid born for this. Robin dove deep and soared up, flying from from wave to wave. Annelise laughed with carefree joy as the duo glided on the wind and waves.

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Now Robin dove deep.  Deeper and deeper, down to the bottom of the ocean he raced. At first Annelise worried about air but then chuckled she no longer had the need for mortal breathing. She gasped as up ahead a small portal of golden light opened, a glittering beacon on the dark ocean floor.

Robin told Annelise, “Sorry.  Too small for me. This is as far as I can take you, babe. Enjoy your journey to the center for the earth!”

I watched the vision from the Sedona meditation circle with a giddy smile as Annelise’s spirit accepted Nanu’s whale of an invite and dove into the golden portal. Her spirit easily glided though the layers of the earth, gaining in power. Soon she arrived at the planetary core. But instead of hot magma she was amazed the earth’s core swirled in molten gold.

A large golden lever that stuck out from a golden column beckoned to Annelise. Free of mortal hesitation, she pulled the golden lever sharply down. To her joy a wave of golden energy sailed from the earth’s core rocketing out to the surface and kept right on going throughout the solar system and the whole universe.

The vision ended and I shared the story with our Sedona meditation group. Others shared visions too of her powerful presence. And I felt immense gratitude for the abundant health of my love Elizabeth and the mutual support we give each other as we continue to grow and develop as leaders of the conscious community.

Today, America awoke to a renewed Congress, blessed with 100 women of many races and creeds who, to record turnouts, were elected yesterday. Thanks for helping make that happen, Annelise and my coolest ever mediation Sedona pals! Safe journeys on whatever you are up to next on the other side, Annalisa. I have a feeling your part of your work will be helping heal the idiotic divides between the people.

Oh, and I’ll pass your thanks onto spirit guide and killer whale Nanu, AKA Robin Williams.

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Meet OHOM, Architect of the Dreamshield

What my ET spirit guide OHOM might look like.

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When I first saw OHOM (which stands for Open Heart Open Mind) in 2010 after a healing session that took place in a yoga ashram in Italy, he laid on the empty mat beside me. In shock I touched the fabric of his gown. It was of an otherworldly texture, like fine diamonds encrusted.

Soon I was swept from the yoga into a vision joining OHOM and two of his ET companions, high above the earth. We each flew in opposite directions building a two pair of Tesla wave energy bands. One pair ran east west and the other north south. The energy was so intense I saw the walls of the yoga hall explode and to be sucked into space.

Afterwards I’d shakily interview the others in our healers workshop group. No one but me had seen OHOM and his two ET associates who joined our healing group together.

Just as I was calming down from this epic vision and settling into a hotel Ohom spoke to me for the first time. He put my fears to rest that I was losing my mind using the space between his words as he instructed me:

OHOM: On 10/10/10, 11/11/11 and 12/12/12 I would like you to host a series of meditation events across the world to strengthen the energy bands we built today into the DreamShield.

ME: But I barely know how to meditate. How can I host a meditation event?

OHOM: You’ve been getting ready your whole life. Just invite the people and it will happen.

It did happen.  I hosted a live meditation event on 10/10/10 with Dr. Sarah Larsen and joined with web events we linked to in Nashville, Greece and LA.

And I’d go onto to host events on 11/11/11 in LA and travel to Antarctica on 12/12/12 to host the CoolestMeditationEver, which became a feature documentary that is still touring the world. Please watch the film on Vimeo and support our ongoing planetary meditations.

Antarctica’s Purity Via Tesla Waves

Since my return from Antartica in 2012, where I filmed 24 quantum intentional meditations to accelerate the shift, I am often asked what I like most about Antarctica. I always say, “Besides the penguins, the fact there’s no EMF radiation.”

Indeed. the purity of the energy field and its powerful magnetics make Antarctica ideal for intentional meditation. Up until now you’d have to travel all the way south to get the same feeling of freedom from EMF. Now, via Tesla scalar waves produced in fibonacci sequences by using a Blushield device you can feel Antarctica’s purity without ever leaving home!

You see, a very cool thing recently happened at the CoolestMeditationEver.com. We’ve been invited to add an amazing line of Tesla Technology EMF protection devices from BluShield!  Here’s a cool video about this much needed tech.

In classic law of attraction form, this amazing new product like came to CME effortlessly.

The ball got rolling when we upgraded our Wifi to 5G.  Though we loved the faster speeds we felt wonky bathed in so much EMF. Elizabeth did some research to look for the best EMF protectors.  She found then story in Nexus Magazine about an incredible line of EMF protection devices originating out of New Zealand. We got the Teslsa Plug-in, thinking if we liked it we’ve step up to the larger Tesla Gold Series Cube.

We immediately noticed improvements in mood and energy using the Blushield plugin. We weren’t needing as much coffee to face the long hours we put in on the computer everyday.  And we sailed through some serious bumps in the road of life more easily.

A few days later we got an email from the BluSheild-USA distributor, Brandon Amalani, who it turns out was fan and supporter of our work where we bring cool tools to the market from greats of spirit science like Patrick Flanagan, Jonathan Goldman, Liz Aplert and James Wanless. Brandon blessed us with the entire line of Blushield for us to study as possible addition to our Cool Tools Page.

Once we added the portable improvement our baseline health accelerated. I experienced greater detox than Elizabeth. My sinuses, I’ve had trouble with since childhood cleared to the point where an old root canal abscessed tooth that had been infecting my sinuses begged the dentist for removal.

Best of all we notice the use of Blushield clears away the mental cobwebs of EMF and we are preforming better meditations.

Well, with results like we’ve both had personally, combined with the great results in research in blood testing and farm testing, it was not a hard to decided to add Blushield to our CoolTools page. And the line is so comprehensive we are building a new website called CoolestTechEver.com.  Hard to believe that great URL was out there for us. Good sign.

Here’s a new 17 second promo spot we’ve created to express the wonderful way Blushield’s fibonacci patterned scalar frequencies entrain your body to tune out EMF’s harmful effect.

FROM OUR HOME PAGE

Let’s face it, WiFi and cell phone signals are inescapable in our modern environment. Awake and sleeping, we’re immersed in these invisible waves. Unfortunately much as humanity loves the convenience of wireless electronics, their relentless frequency waves cause disruption to our body’s electromagnetic field at the cellular level. And this continuous cellular stress response has proven to have cumulative negative long term health effects.

And so, CME is thrilled to present the ACTIVE EMF PROTECTION of Blushield Tesla technology! When people start using Blushield devices they report feeling:

  • More relaxed and chill.
  • Better able to focus.
  • Greater mental clarity for meditation, school, work.
  • Able to spend more time in front of a computer.
  • Less tired, zapped eyes.
  • Greater energy
  • Better Quality Sleep

All these cool benefits will help you create the coolest meditation ever while improving your baseline health. As opposed to passive EMF protection, like stickers and orgonite, Blushield utilizes active EMF protection technology by creating powerful coherent scalar waves to mitigate EMF (electromagnetic fields) at a cellular level. Blushield overrides all ambient EMF fields, including wireless radiation, mimicking nature and relaxing our body’s stress response caused by EMF.

Trump as an Angel? Whaa?

Is Trump is an angel of destruction of the evil old ways or just a lying a jerk?

“Liberals For Trump!” Sounds as unlikely as “Jews for Jesus!” But I’ve learned the hard way, through the painful loss of many friends over my Meditations on Trump, that Liberals For Trump believers really do exist. And in higher numbers than I bet the polls can measure.

Reading between the lines after a wonderful friend tearfully lectured me that I should not be lowering my vibration to talk politics, I see Trump shame is particularly keen in the consciousness community where love for the environment, vegetarianism, kindness, and many other ideals clash deeply with Trump’s bull in a yoga store way of operating.

The first time I realized more than a few of my spirit friends are Liberals For Trump — and there is another smaller branch of Conservative Spirit Peeps for Trump I’ve stumbled across — was after the night Bernie Sanders was robbed of the Democratic nomination by Hilary. For the weeks following that fateful summer of 2016 night, Facebook and Twitter were aflame with Bernie lament.

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Now, although Trump and Sanders have very different takes on politics, one for more government and one for less, they both nonetheless represent a bitter rejection of the status quo that many liberals adore as much as their conservative brethren. Without Bernie to pick from, my Bernie buddies went into the booth to vote for Trump and, presto, exited as Liberals For Trump.

I’ve been hoping my pals, from ET fans to angel workers, who profess love for Trump for his demolition of America’s wicked old ways, would come back to center after the months of chaos under Trump.

Ah. But think about it; an affair with Stormy didn’t sway them, over a dozen women accusing Trump of sexual harassment didn’t sway them, a live mic with Trump’s grab ’em by the pussy wisecrack didn’t sway them, Mueller’s getting 5 of 20 people he’s indicted to plead guilty for conspiring with the Russians to influence our elections didn’t sway them, Michael Cohen funneling millions from corporations for Trump access did not sway them, North American and European allies getting slammed with tariffs while Trump rains favors on Commie dictators have not swayed them, and the beat goes horrifically on.

At one point during the campaign Trump claimed he could shoot a man in the middle of 5th Avenue and still win the Republican nomination. He appears to have been right as the Russian collusion evidence mounts and he grows in popularity.  You get the idea, nothing sways people who like Trump’s schtick. If anything, his fanatic fans run deeper into supporting him amid liberal news media and comedic backlash that only serves to bolster his persecution complex.

Still, these past few weeks I hoped that Trump’s hard core policy on separating immigrant babies from their mothers might pry some of friends free of backing Trump so vehemently. If not in private, at least on Facebook. But this week, amidst an avalanche of horrors in the media about illegal immigrant children crying for their lost loved ones hit its pain soaked peak, one real-life and FB friend, actually posted this photo to their page.

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Holy shit. I’ll always remember this as the day then I realized how deep down the rabbit hole a Trump fan’s rejection of the status quo goes. Out of love and respect I resisted the urge to joke post back, ” Wha? I have enough trouble seeing Trump as human let alone as the archangel Michael!”

I’ve learned the hard way you really can’t reach Liberals For Trump, anymore than you can reach Conservatives for Trump, lost in their Fox News, or reach Libertarian’s trapped in their web of endless conspiracy theories who still think the CIA killed Kennedy 55 years ago.  Face it.  We the cyber word has us all pigeonholed into neat little bubbles, even though FB got caught redhanded selling our data to Cambridge Analytica.

So why make enemies when the Hillarys Trumps and Obamas of the world are not really running the show, but the 13 families that own the big show? For my dear FB friend, out of her Trump loving mind with her post last week, and others like her, Trump is perhaps an angel for his destruction of the status quo and the immigrant kids getting ripped from their families at the border are painful collateral damage? Frankly, I am afraid to ask.

Or perhaps my Liberal For Trump friends are blinded by Trump’s 1984-ish Big Brother mind games? I read somewhere, cannot find the link right now, that despite the side by side 2009 and 2017 inaugural photos, 61% of conservatives believe Trump’s “My Inauguration crowd was bigger than Obama’s!” lie. That’s powerful mass hypnosis on human scale we’ve never seen here is America.

Weird how my having  a father who lied constantly to the family made me into a human lie detector. As an adult that makes me wretch whenever Trump lies. Never thought I’d be thanking Dad for his lies about that trip to Dinseyland that never happened and the countless other lies he seemed to dream up like Trump, even when lying was not needed.

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Much as I try to keep an emotional lid with my spirit friends notion of Trump as a cosmic DJ Demolition Man, it gets deeply depressing when he continues to dominate our 24/7 news cycle. Many in the self-serving-fear-mongering press, profess there’s a grave danger hidden within Not-Sees support of Trump. The panicked liberal press believe that because Liberals for Trump, and conservative alike, are not blinking at the border #wallofsorrow it must mean America is one step away from Nazi death camps for minorities before they cut to anti-depressant commercials.

However, never one to be a willing customer of media fear machine, I don’t see the Trump era, even if it extends to 2024 and beyond with his daughter taking office then jared, ever going the way of the Nazis. This is not 1936 Germany, despite Trump’s “good”Nazi kids waving Confederate flags.

No. What’s going right now is uniquely American, despite how nasty it all is. As a people as we near the 4th of July 2018 perhaps ugly stuff that Trump unwittingly serves spirit to bring to the surface? Is Trump unconsciously acting like a Lakota Heyoka clown? His backwards actions and policies create potent cognitive dissonance making us question the very nature of our reality?

Are my friends right? Does spirit in some mystical way, works through Trump’s darkness to bring the light? I have no answers.  Just a desire to look deeper for the meaning of all this. And I am grateful for that spark of hope that my Liberals For Trump spirit friends are seeing something good in Trump I do not.

What are you thoughts?

Message to Earth’s Comics From Spirit of Robin Williams: Trump Jokes are Lazy Humor – The Robin Williams Visitations

I’ve truly been blessed to have Robin Williams’ spirit in touch with me often since his death on August 11, 2014. But unlike many people with psychic visions, suspiciously sure of their gifts, I sometimes wonder if Robin’s ghost is really keeping in touch or if it’s all just my wild imagination.

Robin’s spirit finds my uncertainty about his visitations quite funny. Perhaps he keeps showing up, despite my misgivings as a reluctant medium, because I always take his funny visits as a serious message from the higher realms of consciousness. And today’s visit from Robin is super welcome in this post-truth era that’s wearing mighty thin for many of us.

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Before I get to Robin’s important as it is funny June 2018 message to the world’s, as the iconic actor who played drama and beautifully as comedy describes today’s, “lazy bum comics” a little history. Robin first appeared to me shortly after his death to help me give comfort to many fans troubled by his suicide. Bummer, we lost two more celebs to suicide this week, designer Kate Spade and chef Anthony Bourdain. Fame and success are no protection against depression.

Not surprisingly, Robin’s spirit musings on his horrific suicide are heartbreakingly funny stuff. Read it on the blog in detail in a special section called THE ROBIN WILLIAMS VISITATIONSHmm. Feels like a book’s a brewin’.

After Robin’s first ghostly visit, which happened on one of the many hikes I take here in Sedona’s red rocks, he and I bonded quickly. I would say it’s because we are brother in arms who’ve overcome battles with life’s sadness using laughs. Happily, I instantly found I could channel his comedic stylings with good accuracy for this blog.

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS WITH A BLUE WHALE

One amazing day in the fall of 2014 Robin showed up with the spirits of MLK and Mother Teresa. They all wanted a tour of the Buddhist stupa. Which I gave them to my honor as though they were visiting family. I’ve still not found the time to blog about it. I promise to, Robin and readers. Stay tuned.

A few weeks after Robin’s incredible visitations began, I tuned over in bed and yelped as Robin was nose to nose with me under the covers. “Sorry, didn’t want to wake you, Sheetzy. Your snoring’s adorable, btw.”

“Thanks. I think. What brings you to my bed at the crack of dawn, Robin?”

“Sheetzo, I need you to hop on fishing boat off Laguna Beach, and channel me in.”

“Why?” I asked still half asleep, thinking back nostalgically on the days before my 2010 awakening when life was boringly normal. Robin is not the only spirt that visits me.

“Oh. Nothing special, Kenny boy.  Just gonna impregnate a virgin whale to reincarnate myself as a blue whale.”

“Oh, is that all?” I said dryly as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. This got a laugh out of Robin. But his laughter quickly faded as I explained to the king of comedy, “Buddy, I am drowning in the workload of a client’s world changer crowd funder. Much as I’d love to travel to the Pacific to help bring you back as a blue whale, Robin, we mortals still have bills to pay.”

“Work from the road. That’s what God made WiFi for.”

“Sorry.  I just can’t road trip this thing. Too big. We just launched this cool device that’s going to make it a smarter world. Boost IQ!”

“Fine, Einstein. I’ll do it myself like I have to do everything… when it comes to impregnating virgin whales!” Robin said, his disappointment in me showing on his fading ghostly face.

“Wait, Robin.  If you could just wait 60 days or so I promise –”

Robin vanished before I could finish in a disappointed but determined huff.  I got up and made some coffee and ruminated that Robin was still used to the star treatment even on the other side. So he’s not used to people saying no very often. I hoped he would not be so angry with me he’d never visit again. However, I made a note to request he not pop into my bed in future and nearly give me a heart attack.

Weeks passed swiftly. My client’s crowd funder became a hit, raising eventually $1.6 million for an update of a beloved scientist’s famed techno-meditation device. So I’d kind of forgotten about Robin’s whale gig when one day, while having a breakfast at my favorite local diner, The Coffee Pot, Robin appeared in the form of a talking blue whale embryo hovering over a portly man’s ham and eggs.

Williams shouted proudly, “I did it, Sheetzy!”

Nearly spit spraying my coffee, I looked slyly around the restaurant. As per usual, despite Sedona being an American mecca for psychics, I was, you guessed it, the only person having this outrageous aquatic visit. “Why the whole whale thing, Robin?” I asked in my mind, deciding I might get a ticket to the looney bin talking out loud to a floating blue whale fetus in a public restaurant.

“Call me, Nanu. That’s my new blue whale name!”

“OK, Nanu Nanu –”

“Just Nanu, Sheetzter.  Copyright stuff.”

“Ok, NANU, why reincarnate as blue whale?”

Robin twirled over a blue haired old lady wolfing down her waffles and said proudly, “Because I’m gonna teach the blue whales a new frequency of joy and laughter to broadcast around this bluesy world!”

Robin looked amused by my freaked out face. But it made total sense Robin would not rest long in the afterworld and would seek a cool way to help humanity keep its sense of humor. As if reading my mind about how crazy yet sensible this all seemed to me, Robin added,”Still the doubting Sheetz? Just take a gander at your coffee cup. – Presto!”

DSC04666Chills ran down my spine, here in the middle of the desert, a relief of dolphins swam on the coffee mug. Robin the blue whale fetus hovered over my head blowing happy air bubble rings as I called over the unsuspecting waitress. I asked her if she’d ever seen a dolphin mug at the restaurant before.

Even though the grizzled middle-aged vet waitress has seen it all in Sedona she gazed in amazement to see dolphins on my coffee mug. “Weird. All we usually got are cactuses and Kokppellis on our mugs.”

I bought the magical mug proof Robin offered at checkout. And if you’re ever a house guest I’ll happily serve you a java from the two more dolphin mugs I’ve since collected on future Williams visits to the Coffee Pot.

Note: Robin loves his coffee and often calls me over to the Coffee Pot, a favorite of visiting celebs, for his spirit visits. He met Elizabeth, my love there and told her, through my channeling, that she is Mamu his mama whale.

Wait a minute! I just joke back to the joker Robin as I write here in 2018, “Swell, so you’re telling me, Robin, that because you were pissed I wouldn’t go with you to the Pacific in 2014 you impregnated my love Elizabeth’s alternate reality whale self?”

“Bingo!  Ha ha! Man, took you 4 years to get that joke. You’re dense as a neutron star, bro,” laughs Robin.

Jeez, I Googled that a teaspoon full of neutron star weighs a billion tons. He sure thinks I am dense stuff!

Speaking of how dense we all are in these Trumpy times, back to 2014, two full years before America lost it’s sense of humor with Trump’s hostile take over of not just the news world but the comedy world.

One time back in 2015, shortly after Robin’s successful rebirth as a blue whale, as Trump began his run for king of the world, Robin told me over coffee – BTW Robin just cups his hand around the mug for its cafine energy – “Trump gonna win and he’s gonna be HILAAARIOUS as the good old USA’s most un-presidential prez ever.”

Boy, was that whale baby right. Trump did beat the unfunny Hillary. And just look at all these comics covering Trump as regular as the weather here in depressing as hell 2018.

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But, as master of comedy Robin Williams is now shouting at today’s living comics through my keyboard, putting on a Jewish accent, “Oy vey! Enough, funny people! You’re makingme mashugana! The Trump gags are stale as a two week old bagel! Stop beating a dead whale already!  ”

That last message of Robin’s rings so true don’t it? Dozens of comedians riffing on Trump’s every stumble everyday for three friggin’ years stinks like a dead whale stranded on a beach for days. The seagulls picking the carcass apart.

And Robin sadly knows all about dead whales. You see, the busy shipping lanes killed his beloved whale mama in late 2017. Grieving her loss, Robin told me in a vision, on a hike to the Airport vortex, that Mamu’s whale body had washed up on the west coast of Mexico. A few months later, in April of this year, Robin came to me to say his whale life too ended the same way as his poor Mamu.

“Don’t be a bummer, Sheetzorini! Tell your readers not to be blue for the blue whale me!” Robin chirps as I type as fast as man untrained in such can, “The Blue Dolphin Clan gave me the body of one of their brain dead young.”

“How appropriate!” getting a zing in as payback for Robin’s neutron star dig.

Robin pretends not to hear my zinger and goes on, “And I’m ready start teaching the song of joy and laugher to the dolphins now. That is soon as I can figure out where my dolphin dick is. Oh wait.  I’m a girl dolphin now. Holy mackerel!”

Pause for reader laughter Robin tells me.

“No problem, the name Robin works for either gender,” I communicate to his spirit, stalling for time to keep up on the keyboard with his rapid fire mind.

“Guess Nanu swings both ways too. Hey, know what we dolphins think of all the media’s fuss over Trump? Ever hear Flipper laugh in that old TV show?” says Robin doing a tail stand in my mind’s eye.

“You mean like this, Robin?” I say digging up a clip.

“Close enough! – Fun fact. Did you know we beautiful and brilliant dolphins were sentient thousands of eons before human’s discovered how to make fucking fire?”

“Gotta admit, like most humans I believe, we’ve always been the brightest species on the planet,” I type communucate.

“Right. Even though humans work themselves to death to get that newest model gas guzzler causing global warming?” Robin dolphin chuckles.

“Yup, Gottta admit I am looking at a new Jeep at the moment.”

“Think Prius, ya noob.”

“Need a Jeep for the 4-wheel drive for the red rocks, shark bait.”

” Touche. Well do some checks on electric that can off road. Pinkie swear? Not that I have one anymore.”

“Fin swear then. Will do, Robin.”

“Nanu, still Nanu please.  Good because we dolphins warn…” says Robin/Nanu, trying to sound as ominous as young dolphin can,”..that your species needs to stop worrying about one certain old as fuck human being, no matter how fat, orange and nasty. HUGE waste of time. Time your species doesn’t have, BTW. ”

“Why?” I ask.

“Earth’s oceans are running out of fucking oxygen!”

In shock I do a search mid-blog based on Robin’s dire warning and found this video.  If you have 55 minutes it will wise you up in a big way even if the production values are about zilch.

Vindicated about his warning on earth’s diminishing air supply, as well as making me realize how real his visits are, Robin/Nanu grimly continues, “Better you eco-morons focus on saving the oceans, where most of your oxygen is made, than ruminating on how many cheeseburgers Trump can ingest daily without having a coronary!”

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Robin/Nanu bitingly goes on, “Be original, human comics. You’re all lazy as fuck.  Hello!  Comedy 101, you can’t make parodies about of a living one like Trump.”

“Amen, Nanu!”

Nanu Williams rants on, “Get the fuck over the pathetic Trump, funny bones, and get back to your damn job of making people laugh. Save getting political for the biggest joke on the planet… the fucking politicians! Get smart and get the word out earth is running out air instead of spreading hot air. Got it?”

“Got it! Will share, Nanu Williams the blue dolphin!”

“Cool, Kenster.  Williams out!”

Well, the you have it, straight from Robin Williams the newly reincarnated blue dolphin Nanu: Trump is officially no longer hilarious.