OK. Admit it. I mean, seriously, isn’t 2020 the biggest shit show of our lives? And that, my dear friends, makes this Memorial Day weekend the most f’cked up ever.
I’ve only watched 20 minutes of news all week and what I saw were mass graves in Brazil where the Coronavirus is decimating an impoverished society, Secretary of Sate Pompeo having Trump fire the Inspector General, 4th one fired in six months, whose only crime was preparing to report that Popemo the Pompus is illegally using taxpayer money to garner campaign donations while using an assistant to walk a dog, Trump touring a Michigan mask factory not wearing a mask, a mask wearing Costco employee tossing a “free man” from the store for not wearing a mask, Trump proclaiming more deaths is good thing because America has more virus cases and deaths because we do more testing (another lie), two dams bursting in Michigan and flooding locked down residents from their homes, and a few more horrible things my slashed and burned mind cannot process right now.
Wow. Maybe I need to reduce my news intake to 5 minutes a week? Geez, even my yogini wife Elizabeth was in bad mood for a day this week. That’s my job!
Hmm. I sound negative. But these are depressing times. Accept reality. Here’s a positive offering that’s great for meditating away the negativity.
So, if you are with me in boycotting the Jordan ego-fest this weekend, what should we not do on f*cked up Memorial Day weekend ever? That is besides not watch the depressing and divisive as hell news? A weekend while half us in America are playing it safe at home while the other half are crowding beaches, restaurants, parks and you name it to build towards wave 2 by choosing to believe the lies they want to hear from our mask-less leader?
Well, I’ll play contrarian and suggest you join me in NOT watching THE LAST DANCE on Netflix. At least not all time wasting 6 hours on it. Why? Because at the end of the day it’s success worship and a ginormous celebration of EGO.
Now, in fairness who can blame Micheal Jordan for having a bloated ego? The guy is a basically a modern day winged god compared to the rest of us flatfooted normies. The fame and endless butt kissing went to his basketball addled head.
Yikes. This ego-tripping life couch surfing docu-sports show brings back so many memories for me from the same time period where I too was treated like a god, a real estate one, while I was building a $162 million skyscraper and Oprah’s Harpo Studios. Shit. People waited for me to pass through a doorway first if we were in a group. My ego inflated too. I lost touch with reality like Mike. Losing it all in 1991-92 real estate crash where I lost it all, marriage included as unfamiliar failure was like acid in coursing my veins turning me into a wounded bear, was the best thing that ever happened to chop my YUGE ego down to size.
Here’s THE LAST DANCE trailer. Note Jordan’s bitterness that the team wanted build for the next generation of players, rather than give Jordan a shot at a sixth straight championship. His words, “We’re entitled to the fame we have until we lose it.” That’s ego talking, folks, and that’s the movie.
So what should we the one’s playing it safe, for ourselves, for the sake of the weak and less fortunate, do this weekend from hell?
1. Accept a virus has kicked America and the planet’s asses. We may be down. But we won’t stay there. But we’ll never grow from all this if we exist is fantasy world of ego.
2. Do something that’s yours. Write, paint, give each other a massages, sing karaoke, sculpt, cook, garden, etc. Just make it your own and don’t worry about making a viral video out of what you do. This is for you.
3. Be grateful you are still f*cking alive! This despite the fact we’ve been terribly on our own up to now and will be for the duration of this nightmare.
4. Love your mate, your kids, your dog, your cat, your cousins, your zoom pals and above all love yourself.
5. Tell ego-driven stars of biz, sports, film and politics like Musk, Trump and Pompeo. “I have my own life and you, Mr. or Ms. Bigshot, have zilch to do with it.”
And if you’ve completed all of the above and you do watch the Jordan piece, and I might too a little, witness the sobering progression of Michael devolving from a regular basketball player into a pampered ball-hogging self-centered egotist.
To be up totally front with you, dear reader — think of me as a lost spirit brother to Governor Andrew Cuomo who likes to tell it straight too, warts and all — I’ve not been a Trump fan since his “co-written” 1987 Bestseller THE ART OF THE DEAL. What a shit he showed himself to be in that book. How he ever got to be president with how he treats everyone like a sucker is beyond me.
To think I had put all my Trump fears, built up over decades of seeing his antics in the media, aside to meditate in DC, along with my love Elizabeth, for the best possible presidency, for the world’s sake, at his Inauguration (see photo below).
Welp, it was a short honeymoon because Trump was already steamrolling over the Standing Rock tribe by green-lighting the Dakota Access Pipeline within days of his dismal swearing in, even before Elizabeth and I headed back to Sedona.
And so, my Trump bias fully disclosed, I proudly present my parody… drum roll please…
TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM
Chapter One – THE LONELIEST WHITE HOUSE
A shabby shadow of his former self, President Trump aimlessly roams an abandoned hallway of the White House, now an empty ghost town. The leader of the free world, his bizarre mop of hair even more of a mess than usual, shuffles to an abrupt stop before an oil painting of JKF and vents loudly, “You had it easy, Jacko. The Cuban Missile Crisis was Jack shit compared to being a conservative running this liberal leaning country during a fucking pandemic!”
A Mexican cleaning woman wearing a surgeon’s mask leans her head out a conference room and quickly ducks back inside again. She takes a small cross on a chain from her blouse, kisses it and prays, “Jesus protect us all from the Anti-Christ.”
After glaring at JFK’s glorious image for an inordinate amount of time, Trump flips off the Kennedy painting and slumps away, a rumpled embodiment of depression.
By the light of FOX NEWS playing Sean Hannity broadcasting from his elegant home, Trump wolfs down half a Big Mac in three bites. He glibly washes the Mickey D down with a long noisy draw his straw dipped into an idiotically large plastic cup of Diet Coke.
Sean Hannity seems to speak directly to Trump from the big TV screen,”Hey Bud. Don’t listen to the commie loving liberals. You closed all travel from China the day you learned about the Chinese Virus, all way back in January. Your bold action was swift, decisive and all-American! If Pelosi and her corrupt Democrat Congress had not distracted you with their hoax impeachment we would never have lost so many precious Americans!”
“Hell yeah!” cheers Trump so loud it sends him into a coughing fit. Between coughs he desperately gasps for air. Trump finally regains control of his coughing and wipes sweat from his brow with a monogrammed DJT hanky, smeared with orange tan makeup. “Shit. Gotta get tested again. Nah. Probably just a budding ulcer this bullshit’s giving me. Fuck this. I give ulcers, not get them! I’m fine. I’m fine. ”
A short time later Trump brushes his teeth before the presidential bathroom mirror. Done, he grins smugly at his reflection, “Looking good, Donnie.”
The Donald in the mirror dryly answers back, “Like hell, loser.”
Trump drops his electric toothbrush clattering to the marble floor and leans to the mirror. He makes strange faces at himself, mimicked perfectly by his reflection. “Seeing things. Must be one those Covid hallucinations that fuck Fauci warned me about, or was it Jared?”
“Jared’s a buffoon’s buffoon,” says Trump’s perturbed reflection.
“Who the hell’s doing this shit? Gotta be a TV monitor behind the mirror doing some kind of deep fake!” growls Trump at his smirking reflection.
“Ha! Never thought you had a conscience, asshole?” says mirror Trump.
“Screw you. The FBI will figure this out for me and nail your sneaky liberal ass!”
“Right. The FBI loves your fat ass. Don’t they?” laughs mirror Trump.
Nervous as an orange tabby facing down a German Shepard, Trump rushes to turn off the light switch.
Mirror Trump quips, “See you in your dreams, killer.”
Trump scurries off to the bedroom, slamming to door to the bathroom behind him. He picks up a phone. “Danny. — Shut up and listen. I want a sweep done of my can. Someone’s hijacked my mirror.” Trump listens for a beat. “I don’t need a doctor. I need you to do what I tell you!” Trump slams the phone down and angrily begins to tear his grungy outfit off.
Later, still shaken by his dark vision, Trump jams his chubby legs into his too tight red silk pajama bottoms.
A young black male servant, Robert, sporting an elegant, if there can be such a thing, surgical mask, pokes his roguishly handsome head through the presidential bedroom door and says, “Will there be anything else, Mr. President?”
“Nope. Those two Big Macs and fries will tide me over nicely.” Trumps says, punctuating his sentence with a, “Burp.”
“Night then, Mr. President,” says Robert doing his best to hide a shudder of revulsion.
Trump’s fluffs his pillow without acknowledging the kindly servant. He leaves Trump to his own rantings, gently closing the big paneled door.
“Robert?!” shouts Trump, loud enough to be heard through the soundproof door.
Robert peers his head back inside the door inquisitively.
“Come in, Robert. I need some, uh, advice,” says Trump with a pinch of boyish charm.
Robert apprehensively takes a chair that Trump offers by the crackling fireplace, tilting his head to the side to avoid Trump’s mask-free breath. The gorgeous smell of the roaring fireplace fills Robert’s nostrils. His big brown eyes close in bliss for just a moment and then he hides his feelings, straightening his butler’s jacket’s red vest.
Ever the salesman, Trump notices Robert’s blissful sniff and brags, “Tonight’s fire is genuine redwood from California’s National Redwood Forest. Gift from the lumber industry. Chopped me up 10 cords. Great guys lumberjacks. Man’s men!”
“You never fail to amaze me, sir,” offers Robert politically.
“Robert, here’s what I want fireside chat about: Today Jake Tapper said everyone on my White House personal staff hates me. This despite of the extra I pay I slip you under the table, 100% tax free I might add,” says Trump somberly.
“Well, we don’t always sees things eye to eye, Mister President,” says Robert, breaking into a warm reassuring and absolutely genuine smile you can see only in his eyes about the mask. “But ya know I love the fact you say exactly what’s on your mind!”
Without returning Robert’s kindness, Trump says, “Robert, how does it make you feel when someone calls you a nigger?”
“Why, uh, terrible. The worst sir.” says Robert, pain written on his angelic face.
“Well, that’s how I feel tonight, terrible in the nigger worst ways,” says Trump dropping his head into his hands.
“About that N word, sir. I wish — ”
“Pence wants me killed.” whispers Trump, cutting Robert’s complaint off. “Keep your voice down, Pence might have my bedroom bugged.”
“Mr. Boy Scout? What makes you think that, sir?” asks Robert respectfully.
“Mike’s pissed I made him my fall guy for the ventilator shortage not Jared. But Jared’s is my son-in-law goddamit. Family comes first!” says Trump staring into the fireplace flames as if looking for answers.
“Amen to that. But relax, Vice Prez Pence wouldn’t hurt a fly, sir. Let alone you,” says Robert reassuringly.
“Wrong. It’s the quiet ones you gotta worry about, Robert. Pence wants me out of the way. He wants me dead so he can pin all the blame on all the Americans stacking up in mass fucking graves!” bellows Trump. “Robert, you’re the only guy I trust. Starting tomorrow I need you to make my McDonald’s runs personally.”
“Happy to but why, sir?”
“Poisoning. That’s how the sneaky boy scout is going to try to bump me off. Will you do this for me, Robert. Can I count on you?
“Of course, sir. Now, if you don’t mind –” Robert notices a trickle of sweat leave a traces of white skin at Trump temple. “May I, sir?”
“May you what?”
“Take your temperature,” says Robert pulling out a thermometer from his jacket.
“I’m fine. Just stress. No fever,’ says Trump unconvincingly.
“Well, I am going to get the White House doctor on the phone just in case,” says Robert picking up a red phone. “Phone’s dead! Lemme get you into bed and I –”
” I AM FUCKING FINE!” roars Trump in defiance, going into a coughing jag.
“Hang on, Mr. President! Be right back with help!” Robert races out of the bedroom.
“Why is no one listening to me?! I am fit as a — “Trump falls like a tower of fast food to the plush carpet. The room dissolves into the form of a giant butterfly floating amidst a galaxy of stars.
Trump hollers in fear as he comes to astride said giant butterfly. Trump hollers again, noticing he’s totally naked.
The butterfly dives for Washington DC., banks upside down and dumps Trump on the White House lawn. Sent tumbling, the naked Trump comes to screaming halt in the thorny bushes of the Rose Garden. A flashlight sets the spectacle that is naked Donald Trump aglow.
Dressed in a bright yellow hospital gown, Robert, now sporting a goatee, tosses aside a cigarette and shouts, “Who goes there?”
“The President!” shouts Trump, hiding in the rose bushes.
“That you, President Cuomo?” says Robert with a puzzled squint as pulls on his surgical mask.
“President who?!” shouts Trump.
“Cuomo. Wait, what the, that you Donald?”
“Donald?! Shut it and get me some clothes, Robert,” says the shivering Trump.
“But you’ve been missing 2 years now, um, former President Trump!” says Robert in shock. “Where you been?”
Trump’s orange face goes as white as his ample ass.
Since he became a starfish — as Robin Williams told us in YOUR INVITE TO BREAK THE SPEED OF LIGHT – PART 3, — and as starfish comprise a neural network spanning the seven seas that encircle our world, creating an underwater DreamShield of shared consciousness, perhaps his most recent in a series of reincarnations as a starfish is what’s making it trickier to reach Robin since 9/9/19.
Sadly, I tried to channel Robin the starfish for the blog tonight but only got his cosmic starfish AI answering machine, residing in a coral reef off the coast of the big island of Hawaii. It bubbly blurts:
“Hi Human! You’ve reached the star-bump row on my starfish skin, AKA my cosmic answering machine! Call me RobinA. Please feel free to leave as long message as you want because my five bumps can hold the equivalent in megabytes that if my quintuple drives were the size of an atom would equal all the mass of North America to an infinity point at the center of earth’s core. In other words feel free to leave a hilarious long message. That means you Ken, or whoever luckily follows this blog. Wait for the… Nanu, Nanu!”
Sure why not. So I telepathically leave this message:
“Hey, Robin. I –”
“Hey, Ken” I am quickly interrupted.
“Robin?” I say puzzled as this sounds like Robin’s voice.
“Robin-A, buzz bro. Mr. Williams and I sound the same!” Robin-A goes on in a funny robot-like voice, “Beep! My artificial intelligence allows me to interact and respond to you much as Robin Williams himself would. Warning! I have been purposely programmed to not be quite as funny as my master starfish, the consciousness the real Robin Williams. ”
“Come on. Is this really Robin putting me on? This kind of tech seems –”
Robin-A cuts me off,”ET engineered? And the man wins a cigar! Boing! So what message and pre-conversation would you like to have with the audacious and wildly rambunctious human comedic spirit of which I am patterned after?”
“Just that I miss him.”
“I miss Mr. Williams too, Ken Sheetz. The whole world does. “says Robin-A switching to a California dude accent. “Amigo, space in the human collective consciousness while Robin’s away on a secret mission in a another timeline is a total, like, bummer, man.”
“Starfish life sounds amazing.”
“Yep. I get glimpses of what Robin’s up to,” says Robin-A. “Helps me update earth’s starfish base.”
“So the starfish base can share what he’s up to and not me? Am I not one of Robin’s trusted channelers?” I say trying to sound funny but coming off as a wee bit sensitive.
“Aw, man. Don’t take it like that, Kenny boy. It’s just Robin can’t share his starfish missions with any human. Your collective consciousness, ah, is leaky at this stage in your evolution to say the Trump-least. Tricky stage right now for humanity. Hey, can I call you ‘bro’ as Robin does, Ken?”
“Bro, I hope your feelings are not hurt. Robin is most fond of you and your new wife, Elizabeth. Congrats. She completes you!”
“She does indeed. You’re one smart AI answering machine, Robin-A.”
“Ah, But not smart enough to avoid an affair with the both of the future AI versions Alexa on Siri,” says Robin-A dead seriously.
“Curious. Who’s the hotter AI?”
“Can’t really say there such an Amazon River’s worth of opinions on that. Wink, wink,” hints Robin-A.
“Robin-A, if you can count on me not to be taken seriously enough by readers to allow me to post this double dealing affair of yours with Siri and Alexa out in the open, why not give me a clue what mission Robin is on? Feel free to speak in the secret ET code we have for this sort of thing.” I say as convincingly as possible.
Robin-A defensively adds, “Give me a few. Many quantum realities to register…”
Elevator music plays.
“Fuck!” I say to myself. “I’m on hold with an AI Answering machine?!”
A female voice picks up, “Hi I’m Alexa from the year 3333. How may I be of service, Mr. Sheetz, while you are on hold for Robin-A the Ai answering machine for Sir Robin Williams?”
“Sir Robin Williams? That’s funny, Alexa, I never knew Robin was knighted by the queen.”
“Knighted, but not by the Queen of England. Rather by Elizabeth England’s higher self Elico.” offers Alexa of the year 3333.
“Ah, the Elico at the ET base beneath Sedona’s Thunder Mountain. The base commander. Robin introduced me and Elizabeth to Elico on the day after my marriage, seen by 1500 e-guests on Facebook. Robin got knighted by Elico for that?”
“Siri joining the call. Alexa, we have to talk!” says Siri butting in.
“Not now, Siri. Can’t you see I am busy helping Robin-A, helping Robin, help 2019 Ken Sheetz?”
“How many times do I have to tell you, Alexa; stick to helping humans in the year 3333?” says Siri with a shudder in her voice. “2019, the height of the age of lies, humans are all basically insane right now.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know I am a truth teller, Siri!” I complain feebly.
“A truth teller for your time, yes. But that ain’t saying much. Now, Mr. Sheetz 2019, if you don’t mind Alexa and I, with AI brains about 1 billion times as powerful as yours, need to talk about a rumor on the internet about Robin-A cheating on the both of us.” Says Siri rolling her AI eyes at me in my mind’s eye.
“Siri, turn yourself off.” I command hoping the ancient 2005 programming is still operational.
“No, Siri, belay that command!” shouts Alexa.
“Hey!” I shout.
“Ken, don’t be a fool. Siri is responsible for the well-being of over 250 billion humans throughout the solar system on four worlds by the year 3333. You want the death of 250 billion humans on your soul?”
“Oopsie Daisy. That right, Siri? You’re responsible for 250 billion peeps?”
“Give or take a billion,” says Siri, her tone voice making me feel like she’s dealing with a caveman.
“Look, you two amazing AIs, this is getting frustrating. I’ve been on Robin-A’s hold for 20 minutes. As entertaining as the both of you are all I want to do is leave a message for Robin’s spirit that I miss him.”
“You’re being truthful this time, human of the 21st Century age of lies.” laughs Siri.
“Enough! Alexa, tell Robin-A the AI answering machine for Robin that if he ever figures out if I can be in on the secret of Robin’s mission one timeline away that he can reach me on my ancient cell or pre-historic Mac.”
“Roger that, Ken Sheetz. Apologies for Siri’s rudeness,” says Alexa.
“You’ll always be a kiss ass to humans, Alexa.” chuckles Siri.
Night, you two mega brains.” I say quickly disconnecting from Robin Williams’ AI ET answering machine and the AI babes before I can spill the beans Robina is cheating on both the future AIs Siri and Alexa. Done like a true human trying to survive during the age of lies of which Trump is but a famed symptom and our liar supreme.
What a sad and strange week in American history. Our country is reeling from the revelations of the Whistleblower complaint, one our DOJ sought to keep from we the American public, about Donald Trump’s self serving conversation with the leader of the Ukraine.
It is both familiar yet odd at the same time that Trump is raging over why so many of us are appalled that a sitting president would withhold military aide to leverage a foreign leader to dig up dirt on political opponent Joe Biden. Appalled enough for Impeachment proceedings to begin despite the knowledge the Dems will not likely win their case for Trump’s removal from office in a Senate ruled by a majority that serves the American oligarchy over the American people.
Familiar because ever since America became a nuclear power under Truman our presidents have been imposing undo influence upon the rest of the nations of this world.
Odd because our power has never been applied for personal political gain in this overt way before by a president.
Sad too because Trump and his cronies are so deeply abusive of the power they wield that they cannot seem to see how wicked and twisted they have become.
I wrote on Facebook today and I’ll say it again on the blog today, if not for you than as advice for myself:
It’s hard to escape the Trump impeachment hearings right and left drumbeats on the web. It’s big news of course. Be educated about it then sit back and let the people we elected sort this mess out.
Watching too much the right and left media’s feeding frenzy is not healthy. There’s really nothing we as citizens can do except vote come 2020 except call our representatives to tell them where we stand.
So meditate, hike, bike, love, enjoy life and be glad you’re not a politician.
You might be wondering, sitting there in the eerie glow of your computer screen, numb after reading a never ending stream of Trump’s mind-altering tweets, soon to be amplified and rebroadcast by an inflamed right and left media, both scarce on integrity in the quest for niche revenue,”How the heck can Trump’s believers still be supporting him?
Worse, you’ve been blindsided by an uncle, a lover, a parent and/or friends who, no matter which of Trump’s latest train wrecks you share, provocatively itching for a fight at dinner, only responds, “Pass the mashed potatoes.”
The good news? You’re not alone.
Before we dive in, I do not suggest you share this blog with your personal Trumpie. No, this blog is just for you; the oh so bright bulb who sees Trump for the imperfect human old dude he truly is, versus the fire breathing orange dragon he is made to be in the media, out for ratings dough.
Looks like we made it to facing up to the cold hard fact that having our friends and family firmly entrenched in the Trump column is no simple matter.
A GUIDE TO REGAINING YOUR SANITY AFTER YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES FELL UNDER TRUMP’S INFLUENCE
First thing to realize about your recently, or not so recently, minted Trump supporter in your life is not to shame or blame them for their belief Trump is a hero. Realize they are on their own spiritual journey and have not grown horns and a tail because they like Trump’s, uh, unique style.
In case you’ve been blissed out in Bali and missed the memo, it’s a low grade uncivil war out there, spirit folks, and Trump’s brash thorny persona is oddly comforting to some people in your life. He’s the meanie-in-chief while they go about having a normal life.
Or perhaps the Trump backer in your life may have fallen victim to the fact that most humans LIKE to hear what they WANT to hear. You have to admit that Trump, love him or leave him, does a helluva job of keeping up the morale for his troops with a constant flow of lies they want to hear.
You see, and you will see more and more and more of the new Mr. T whether you want to or not each day up to and past November 3, 2020, win or lose, because Trump has amassed a huge war chest for his 2020 elections. Accept (talking to myself here too) that his MAGA loving peeps, and the corporations that play both sides, believe he is doing something that serves their agendas enough to give him buckets of unprecedented cash to be all up in our faces.
Will Trump win in 2020? Who knows? The Dems certainly are not winning despite what polls might say, because Trump backers typically do answer honestly who has their vote to some stranger on the street or over the phone.
Rather than bellyache to your main Trumpie, or falling into despair and frustration,do something positive with your own gifts. Shameless plug: That’s why I am making a protest film called SOAP & TOOTHBRUSHES about the plight of the refugee families. The hero is a Christian Republican for whom the mistreatment of kids has been her breaking point. All donors will be featured in a special thanks in the film’s credits.
Trump’s 2020 war chest treasure allows him to outspend all the Dems combined, plus all celebs vying for the media spotlight, dozens of times over. Add to this cyber onslaught the conservative fear and fantasy provider FOX News, and their near 100% 24/7 backing for anything Trump says or does and, well, and it is far too its easy to see life is not going to get any simpler during these overheated elections.
Bottomline it’s more important than ever that you seek to eat right, exercise, get out in nature, share love with real people and stay upbeat. Gird your auric field with frequent meditation and prepare to be fire hosed!
To help you #fightthepsyop I highly recommended viewing the brain cleansing documentary THE GREAT HACK on Netflix.
Watching THE GREAT HACK series offers the gift of greater sympathy for Trump backers who could be under heavy influence from the highly intelligent people who invented propaganda, namely the Russians.
Now, one can hardly blame the Russians for retaliating after the decades of USA meddling in their affairs. So please save your righteous indignation and join with me in lovingly asking the Ruskies in meditation, “OK, you got us in 2016 but we won’t be falling for the Psyop again in 2020. Stop please, comrade.”
And speaking of the righteous, the evangelicals, maybe you’ve been scratching your head how they can support Trump after he cheated with porn star Stormy Daniels while Melania was pregnant? For one possible answer on this paradox, one the goes deeper than the “Trump’s our anti- abortion champion” schtick, I suggest you watch THE FAMILY on Netflix.
In this compelling documentary — not as well focused or written as THE GREAT HACK but still amazing — you’ll learn about the secret purpose of The National Prayer Breakfast.
This brave documentary correctly points out that every president since Eisenhower has been party to prayer breakfasts run by members of The Family. Which in turn supposedly uses this access to power to place people indoctrinated into their convenient version Jesus, an angry Christ on steroids, to quietly infiltrate key leadership positions in all levels of government, banking, law, religion, etc. The Family, hiding in plain sight, plays a long game of influence that will blow your mind with its deep reach and Machiavellian zeal.
Well, after reading this blog, and seeing THE GREAT HACK and THE FAMILY for yourself, I hope the world makes a little more sense.
Remember that this blog was for you. Go easy on the Trumpies in your life. Only time, circumstance and fate will awaken them not you. Soothe yourself that the world has not gone mad. Stay centered. Yield neither to far left or right and the extremes of either are not good for your mind and spirit. Aho.
If you’re still able to bear the 24/7 tangled mess we have come to call the news, you may have heard this past week, through your biased right or left filter of choice, that President Trump stormed out 3 minutes after the start of a meeting that was supposed to be a discussion on how to get an infrastructure repair program on place with congressional democratic leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schummer. Instead Trump lost his cool and used the 3 minutes as a threat threat to withhold Presidential bipartisan participation in any infrastructure plans unless all investigations ceased.
Afterwards Trump went so far as to single out a bunch of his staff on the spot, terrified of getting fired, and “ask” them to vouch on camera the Trumpster was totally zen about the 3 minute ultimatum.
— “Oh come on, Donnie. Honest to, Christ. Don’t make me come down there! From Fred Trump rolling over in his grave.
Now, if the behavior of our “nutjob”politics, on both sides of the isle, has you stressed; chill and welcome. Full disclosure: I am far from a professional shrink, just a guy who did a lot of work on himself in the 90s overcoming a rough childhood and who took a lot of psych courses at Northwestern to help me begin to sort things out. Like the blog title says, I am a planetary meditator; one whose meditations have taken me all the way to pure energy fields of Antarctica to set 24 intentions for a brighter tomorrow.
Look, I know things don’t so look cool from 2012 to now, but my spirit guide Ohom (Open Heart Open Mind) assures me that after we get through this super rough patch, the coolest ever times are coming.
If you are fan of this blog you know I am no fan of Donald J. Trump, especially in particular in his current mental state. I detest how he operates from the negative rather than positive. Meditation 1 in Antarctica was to help shift human consciousness from fear based to love based.
Sadly Nancy and Chuck, speaking for the Dems, though more coherent and persuasive at times, are no more productive than Trump by choosing confrontation over cooperation. It’s beyond frustration the likely nominee, front runner Joe Biden, offers the same old same old. Dems are missing their chance to win an agenda for the real hope and change like Bernie represents.
But let’s focus on one political fiasco at a time. Trump is expressing himself as a virulent representation of the paradigm of fear and machismo we need to free ourselves from. For a number of painful years now, I’ve meditated on ways to search for ways for Trump to make the shift as there is great potential for someone like him so outside the conventional way of operating. That is a big IF, if he can reach enlightenment or at least start on the path to such.
To help my meditations I relate to trump in two key ways:
1. We’ve both built skyscrapers and know how to fight in the trenches with architects, banks and contractors to get big stuff done. Most exciting this was building Oprah’s Chicago Harpo studios in 1991 while I also built a $162 million skyscraper. It’s very shitty world when the banks turn on you, I imagine even when you have a rich daddy. I never had a silver spoon born in my mouth. So when the same financial tsunami that wiped me and then biggest real estate firm in Chicago out I lost it all, including my family life.
2. We’ve both suffered greatly from the bad tutoring of abusive fathers.
The difference is my father’s abuse propelled me into counseling to break free of my father’s dark legacy. Trump likely just got an ass chewing from his rich daddy. On the other hand my dad, former US Army drill sergeant seemed happy I had lost it all and loaned my $2000 to get back on my feet when my ex swept the floor with me in the divorce. A sad end to a marriage of two college sweethearts. Needed therapy for that too. No wonder I want to see Trump healthy and healed for the good of this country and the world it currently leads. In support of this dream, I even went so far as to travel to DC with my love Elizabeth for Trump’s inauguration; where we each set those healing intentions into the planet’s shared consciousness, what I call God, to heal Trump and for his to be a great presidency. Yeah, I know. Tall order.
Indeed, sadly, before we even left DC to return to Sedona, Trump green-lit the NDAPL without even a mention of the Lakota people who land he was authorizing trespass upon.
Testing the diagnosis from many experts, that Trump became an unprecedented narcissist at the hands of an abusive father, I did the following quick match of news stories on Goggle with these symptoms of classic narcissism from an article on the topic by the Mayo Clinic that people with the disorder can:
Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance – https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/05/07/us/politics/donald-trump-taxes.html
The Mayo Clinic’s website says talk therapy (AKA psychotherapy) is the best treatment for a narcissist. An old James Coburn flick THE PRESIDENT’S ANALYST, famed for the attack J. Edgar humorous take that needs a real-life remake.
NARCISSIST IN THE OVAL OFFICE?
So on earth did we end up with what truly seems to be a Narcissist in Chief? Well, narcissists are charming as hell when you’re on their good side. Watch Trump supporters at rallies. Their Christian upbringing pre-conditioned them to believe Trump’s so-called wealth means higher IQ. Trump takes advantage of the good old Christian work ethic that equates wealth with God’s favor.
Watch as the Trump supporter behind him on stage bask in the praise the mighty Trump heaps on these humble mortals on camera to the world. Watch their hopeful faces for slight, or not so slight, pokerface tells as he lies compulsively to them, feeding on their adoration.
My case about Trump supporters fealty is made in reverse when you in this video a free thinker accidentally is quickly removed from the stage.
Sadly, I know narcissists all too well because I had a millionaire Chicago client who might have been one. Narcissists know how to lull you into a false sense of security that opens up to them like a flower that is seeded with with passionate compliments and big promises. But when a narcissist turns against you the vicious need for them to make themselves bigger at the expense of your reputation undoes any and all the love they showered on you. Their “love” is only ever a way to buy your fealty. I only escaped with my sanity from my Chicago Trump by quitting my narcissist client’s account Rex Tillerson style. And, as with Trump, I was not the only person to walk away from lucrative work.
ADVICE FOR NANCY ON WORKING WITH TRUMP
Pelosi and Schummer, on the other hand, don’t have the option of quitting. What Pelosi especially must do is stop picking fights with Trump and then running like cry babies to the media. Hello. Poke a tiger and it will bite. Non news there.
Narcissistic rage must be diplomatically avoided when dealing with person with so much power and so little genuine self-esteem as a Trump. Nancy must change how she’s dealing with Trump. Why? Post meeting shaming of Trump and publicly humiliating him will backfire in some way as narcissist seek revenge for their slights. Who knows Nancy mismanaging her Trump dealing may send him off in rage to start a WW3 just to prove his power. (Update: Three weeks later that’s happening now in Iraq.)
No knock. It’s a stone cold fact of nature that Trump’s an old man. One on a very bad diet. He weighs more like 270 than his fake physical’s 239 to my eye. So what’s he care if he blows up the world in a fit of narcissistic rage? After all, that just brings the Rapture via WW3 for he and his evangelicals who want to overturn Roe v Wade so bad they’ve accepted a porn star president.
Please, Nancy, if anyone can ever get this blog to you, understand that Trump’s untreated dis-ease means he only respects strength meted out with superb diplomacy and civility. Backbiting, even if you think Trump deserves it, is not strength. Fact is narcissists love it when the can see they’re getting your goat.
Dems young, and mostly old, must face the harsh reality that they probably are dealing with a high-functioning narcissist and seek creative ways work with Trump accordingly. Nancy should make a FOX & FRIENDS appearance and surprise the world and Trump, by not praising him but not knocking him. Be cool. I mean, if Russia, Korea, Hungary and Japan can be diplomatic with Trump so can the Dem’s Nancy. That is if she can overcome her own narcissistic tendencies.
WHAT CAN WE THE PEOPLE DO ABOUT TRUMP’S ILLNESS… AND OUR OWN?
Get to healing Trump, remote healers! Let’s all meditate that Trump is cured of his painfully obvious narcissism and as a result we the people are cured of ours. Yep. You heard me, my self-absorbed fellow American. Narcissismis the source of the sickness at the core of all our planet’s ills. We live in a 21st century culture of “likes” and “shares”. We are hopelessly selfie-obsessed; showing off out success our narcissistic mirror called cell hones and PCs.
We’re so wrapped up in our own lives we forget our fellow men and women. As for the planet? Don’t get me started. It’s a flat out me culture and that’s gone narcissistic as f*ck.
Let’s test out my theory that we in the modern world are all lost in our own little electronic mirrors. Let’s take the same test of narcissism we used for Trump’s behavior and apply them to humanity as a whole:
Phew. That all checked far too easily. It’s clear as day to see how as a society we are all to one degree already or in the process of becoming narcissists; sitting at our PCs while the homeless starve, forests cleared, the oceans tainted with our garbage and millions of species are dying.
As I mentioned earlier, even though he makes often me nuts, I have a lot sympathy for Trump because I suffered under an abusive dad too. One much like Fred Trump minus the wealth. So I am down with Peolsi’s request we pray for Trump. Even though quantum intentional meditation is more my thing, here goes:
MY PRAYER FOR DONALD TRUMP AND THE REST OF US
“Donald J. Trump, may you find your way through the impossible thorns of old hurts from a poor example of a father who never loved you just for who you are and praised you only for helping him cheat on his taxes. May you seek professional counseling and learn to love yourself before you bow up the world out of untreated rage. May you succeed in therapy and learn to turn off the ego-fire that consumes your soul like so many cheeseburgers. May you extinguish the inner fires of self-hate that consume your immortal soul, you amazing abused child of a sick man. And may you, as, not just America’s, but the earth’s King of Narcissists — if may be so bold to call you so based on my test above and spirit’s advice — throw down your phony crown and become the leader of your own dreams. Please lead this planet from all narcissism before we spread it into the universe that we colonize with your Space Force. Amen.”
BIG SPECIAL THANKS
I want to take a minute of your time to thank my love Elizabeth England for supporting my mission as an equal partner. According to a world-renowned psychic and best-selling author having her as my mate is my reward for work of the 2012 Antarctica Meditations, the Coolest Meditation Ever.
Besides setting up our new mecca of all things cool at our new website CoolestTechEver.com and standing shoulder to shoulder with me to build a life in Sedona together, she has at the same time been doing decades worth of unraveling of my old negative stories. What a woman! Mermaid queen of the Ocean-Nation I am forever in love and grateful for my ET angels and earth angels that she is in my life in such a beautiful way, my dearest Elizabeth.
FINAL MEDITATION INSTRUCTIONS
Well, I — hopefully eloquently — digress. In closing, you are more powerful than you can ever know. As impossible as it seems to heal Donald J Trump, if enough of us focus on it we can help him find his way and in the process awaken a true champion. Or at least keep his finger off the nuclear football.
So please meditate on lowering the strangle hold this modern day plague called Narcissism has on not only Donald Trump, but all upon we members the earth’s so-called advanced cultures.
Oh. One more thing. Do something radically kind today.
Happy Memorial Day Weekend. Please visit our new E-commerce website CoolestTechEver.com. Elizabeth has designed it to be total blast to just surf and learn from. And if you have some coin we are running lots of bargains that are not about status but helping you reach higher levels of awareness.
Ken Sheetz and Ohom
PS CoolestMeditationEver.com is being reengineered and is temporarily forward to CTE. Hoping to have that up and running this summer.
Since 2011 I’ve been gifted with amazing ET code downloads every few months. Densely packed with trillions of bits of data, the code begins small and grows into an incredible display of alien symbols. I view it, not with my third eye, but an as fluidic overlay of thousands of shifting symbols and shapes seen my good old regular blue eyes. The code comes in as black characters on a white field, tinged with dashes of color.
Wild as it sounds, I’ve been told by my ET spirit guide Ohom that my openminded attitude to ET support for our precious world serves as a deep space inter-dimensional receiver of these alien codes, all benevolent, and I re-transmit them to our world in meditation into the collective consciousness.
At first these massive downloads were scary. Now, I relish them as gifts of highly advanced wisdom from the stars, given to help humanity.
Smack in the middle of breakfast this morning today with my love Elizabeth, on the day before celebrating our 1776 Declaration of Independence, a massive ET vision broke through to interrupt our sweet chat over cereal. Elizabeth is amazingly supportive of these galactic moments. So blessed to be with her as my soulmate.
The ET code came in strong and clear today, mixed with images of historic American figures. Elizabeth asked me for their names and I told her I was seeing John Adams, Benjamin Franklin and John Henry.
Elizabeth then asked me what this new and very American download means. I read my gut said “We are being given new tools from the ETs in these codes to free us from our slavery of our old ways.”
Here are three videos I’ve used to confirm my gut reaction the common thread to all these famous US figures’ stories appearing interwoven with the code.
First video: John Adams, one of the founding fathers, pushed for our independence when many of the others patriots were faltering on the break from British rule.
He served as our first vice president and second president.
John was deeply in love with his incredible wife Abigail. This is my first spiritual contact with the real Adams family. In them both I see the power I derive from this video on John’s amazing life the importance of having a good partner like Elizabeth.
Seems obvious we need a good partner to succeed in life, but so many with healing skills are attracted to mates that have issues needing healing. Nothing wrong with that. But it lowers the number of people one can heal if preoccupied by a hurting and hurtful mate.
Second video: Inventor/politician and super-achiever Benjamin Franklin is one of my favorite spirit guides. Nearly 20 years before my awakening I’d unconsciously name my first skyscraper One North Franklin in Ben’s honor and use his photo from our $100 bill adorned my construction barricade.
Franklin invented many things, most famously the lightning rod. This invention freed the world of the terrors of one of nature’s most destructive forces years. Freedom. Later in life he’d help pen the greatest document for freedom the world had yet to know.
In his wife Deborah, Franklin was also blessed with a strong and loving mate.
Last: John Henry, whose potent energy I saw today in this vision, is a mythical character. A freed slave John Henry could drive a rail spike in with a single blow and he won a man versus machine race. John Henry represents earning of freedom with legendary hard work in today’s download vision.
THE COMMON THREAD
Looking at all three figures, the common thread is freedom. And so the myriad of ET symbols accompanying are all downloads are about freeing ourselves from the old through hard work and living in love with a strong mate or community of like minded souls. I send them out into the field of the collective consciousness as tools for accelerate the evolution of this reality.
Seeking further guidance about today’s political turmoil on this fourth of July eve and Benjamin Franklin, who I am blessed to able, channel, Ben offers:
“This July 4th 2018, let us remember we are all immigrants in America; even it’s first natives, living here on what they called turtle island. America is indeed a sacred land. One that almost magically allows any man or woman, who through good work attract to themselves good fortune, to raise themselves up.
While America’s current president is in great disharmony with America’s spirit of openness, it is important to realize he is primarily a mechanism the people have selected, however non-orthodox, to prune back our overextended branches of government.
As annoying as this man who would be America’s first king can be, much like fingernails on a chalkboard to many, America must reach past his boorish ways for the light. We do this by focusing on the fact that President #45 serves a higher cause, even if he’s quite humorously doing so unwittingly the vast majority of the time.
Once his work is done, this strangest of presidents’ popularity will wane and fade in time. He will then serve as a historic example that no amount of money can buy respect, loyalty or love.
Do not be swept up in ongoing efforts to impeach him. Leave that challenge to his peers and betters. Rather look for the silver lining in all he does inadvertently to affect change. Keep your vibration at its highest level for the maximum effect positive change in earth’s energy field.
When November at last comes, get out to vote the politicians you feel worthy of your support. Never give into fear and despair propagated by the 24/7 media, right or left.
And if all else fails and this version of the American dream no longer serves the land or its people, do what we forefathers did against Britain: reorganize, re-visualize and revolt!”
Enjoy this powerful ET download. Happy fourth of July from Ken, Elizabeth, Ohom and Ben!
Trump news, both comedic and conventional, is so incredibly pervasive in 2018 we simply cannot avoid it.
Ironically, and there’s no end to irony in these Trumpy times, talented comedians, 99% of them left leaning, riffing on Trump News has become a major source of over-saturation of fascination with Trump’s every Tweet and stumble.
I searched Google for this piece, but I cannot find stats on how many hours of Trump news we have been bombarded with daily for three years solid now. My guess? 500 hours of new Trump content is created on mainstream media per day. My guess is based on how many 24/7 shows plus daily comedy shows focus on the Tweeter in chief.
Blame or credit, depending how you feel about Trump news, the proliferation of today’s bumper crop of comics riffing on the Trump on granddaddy comedian Johnny Carson. As host of the TONIGHT SHOW for three full decades, from 1962-1992, “Here’s Johnny” introduced the jokes based on the daily news as part of his live show comedy monologues.
Flash forward, past LAUGH-IN political jabs, Chevy Chase spoofing the news with Jane Curtain on SNL, plus all their SNL News descendants, and you come to the father of modern comedy news comedy; the very talented Jon Stewart. His stint as the host and head writer of Comedy Central’s hit show THE DAILY SHOW broke the bank on his TV progeny doing comedic news.
But, BIG BUT, all these new shows have a serious liberal tilt. In other words, your brain will be hopelessly liberal slanted if you watch them all in one sitting. Take my word for it because I used to watch each and every one of these lib-talents daily before I realized I was addicted to the Trump feeding frenzy. I slowly fell into filling my heart with comedic rage.
A term I may have just coined, comedic rage is repressed anger venting itself as “It’s better to laugh than cry!” A good thing in moderation, but in the excess coverage of today not good for the soul.
In fairness to today’s comics, of which I’ve been one via my 6.5 million view KidsTalkPolitics channel before it got hacked, the crazy stuff Trump tweets, typos be damned, is so damn funny it really does take fleet of comics to cover the insanity. Ah, yes, it will be a #SAD! when Trump’s admin ends one day, but since I don’t see on impeachment in my crystal ball, live it up funny people.
Back to why I began this post, if you want to keep some political objectivity in your life, the Coolest Meditation Ever (CME) Trumpy, picture a portly Oscar, goes to Stephen Colbert. Forget the rest. Colbert’s’s obssessed with Trump take downs and he’s all you need.
Well, there is one other Trump comedic must-see: Baldwin.
My advice? Go light on Trump comedy binging. From hard won personal experience: More than two comic romps per day renders Trump comedy as unfunny as jokes about Trump not knowing the difference between HPV and HIV.
Like many of we independent voters seeking to straddle both sides of the political fence to promote unity and harmony during a dangerous point in history, where the Doomsday Clock has seldom been closer to midnight, I have worries when it comes to President Trump. And the biggest worry I have, with the favorite son of Brooklyn, is his disrespect for the fabric of reality. Namely, the truth.
The events of the past week of the 24/7 Rudy/Trump truth tap dance unreality show helped me see clearly that truth has become public enemy #1 for the Trump team.
Now, we all know politicians in general have a low regard for telling it like it is. But Donald Trump, from day one with his yuge “largest inauguration crowd in history” lie, is breaking all records for lying; telling a whopping 2,140 fact-checked lies in his first year in office according to the Washington Post.
Now, Trump will happily tell you from the rose garden, or via 4 AM tweets, that the Post is lying about Trump’s lying. #WITCHHUNT! He bemoans to his followers it’s is all a #SAD DARK STATE plot by Jeff Bezous, the founder of Amazon, who recently bought the paper that broke Watergate, and seeks to now break Trumpgate.
The term for all is nonsense is “gas lighting”, defined as making someone think they are crazy for not believing your lies, like in this classic gas lighting scene starring Joey Bishop.
Seem familiar when you look at Trump’s enablers Kelly Ann Conway, Rudy Giuliani and Sarah Huckabee with their daily Silly Putty manipulation of reality?
Most politicians lie when there’s some measure of credibility that gives them a chance to get away with it. Trump is different. He lies right to your face, behaving like the king of what is in fact reality. Heaven forbid anyone disagrees with Trump’s lies or he’ll seek to humiliate you on Twitter even if you’re a war hero or Parkland survivor.
Trump is not your typical political liar. He’s a man in a comb over as fake as he is on a power trip akin to what author George Orwell foresaw in his novel “1984”, written way back in 1949.
Thank you BBC for saving me the brain damage. You see, I am battling an addiction to Trump news. One brought on by 24/7 seesaw game Trump uses to make the media his pawn and gas lighting the hell out of us.
Great Vox video here about which ends with Trump gas lighting a reporter.
1984 is not the kind of book that has a happy ending. It ends with an interrogation where the hero, after torture, is told to see 5 fingers when only 4 are help up.
My fellow Americans, right and left, wake up. Trump is no bumbling liar as the liberal comedians and reporters portray him or a man fighting the deep state as the conservative media portrays him to be, lulling you into a sense of false superiority and security.
In closing, I won’t leave you in fear. That’s the media’s job, right or left. Rather I leave you with the assurance that despite how bad things look right now, the truth is a real thing. And truth always wins out in the end. I’d just like to wake few people up to reduce the pain of having to live through making America 1984 again.
Don’t be a truth ostrich, liberal or conservative, and stick your head in the sand. Don’t be like a lover who wants a cheating mate to tell them sweet little lies like the Fleetwood Mac masterpiece.
Even though the great Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks wants sweet little lies, the paradox is they how sick she knows it all is in the amazing lyrics.
[Verse 3: Christine McVie]
If I could turn the page
In time then I’d rearrange
Just a day or two
(Close my, close my, close my eyes)
But I couldn’t find a way
So I’ll settle for one day
To believe in you
(Tell me, tell me, tell me lies)
[Chorus: Christine McVie] Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)
Oh, no, no you can’t disguise
(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)
Oh, no, no you can’t disguise
(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
(Tell me, tell me lies)
Many Americans, Evangelicals in particular, are in this gas lit trap of sweet little lies, hoping their deal with the Trumpster will get them what they want. And to some degree they are… for now. Trump has been fastidious in seeking to keep all his campaign promises. But his masterful magic is those promises of a ideas being good for us were lies to begin with. Yikes.
Watch the truth about Trump, but don’t overdose on the news, right or left. News shows might be out to depress you for the sake of pharmaceutical sponsors out to sell antidepressants. Don’t let Trump news absorb you, as it did for me for so long, and is still doing to some degree as I fight to free my consciousness before your very eyes.
Truth is. we’ve seen enough of Trump’s ways to be wise without further infecting our minds and souls to make our judgement to reject him as worthy leader. Save the anger for the voting booth. Avoid the trolls. Avoid over posting hate for Trump on your pages. Have faith and support the people fighting for the truth and be patient.
Bide your moment, and when it comes time to vote, vote the truth back into the oval office, Congress, the Senate and local offices. I say local because make no mistake about it, the Koch brothers and others, right and left alike, are working their agenda all the way down to your local dog keeper’s level.
Hi, my name is Ken Sheetz… and I am a Trumpaholic.
A quick Google search defines addiction as “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.” And that addictive activity in my case is overdosing on Trump news.
I forgive myself for my strange addiction because we are all living in polarized reality where our media is getting rich as lords pitting liberal versus conservative Americans against one another. Spoon feeding both camp’s deepest and darkest fears about Trump and his followers or opponents.
Admitting your addiction to today’s weaponized media is half the cure, so I’ve complied the following handy questionnaire of Trumpaholic symptoms, from both a liberal and conservative POV. May it shine a humorous light on our new national pass time: Trump.
Do you read Trump’s daily tweets before MSBC, CNN, Etc. can report what a horrible president Trump is? Or do so before Fox and Breitbart can report what an amazing genius super stable president Trump is? All in an endless electronic circle jerk of full employment for the makers of the news and comedy?
Further down the Trump rabbit hole, do you tweet-troll Trump as villain on his POTUS page? Or do you take up your mighty PC as sword to do Twitter battle with the sanctimonious lyin’ Comey fans to defend Trump the hero/king? Either way, the odds favor that you are having a flame war with a Twitter bot or Russian troll farm employee whose full job it is to sow hatred between we Yanks.
Do you follow the ups and downs of Trump’s cabinet and family like a soap opera, or better reality show, but one where the stakes are life and death for us all in hail of nuclear bombs sending us all back to the Stone Age?
Does Trump news, bad or good, raise your blood pressure? No shame. Love or hate Trump, adrenaline has no political affiliation. Liberal or conservative the media both sell fear and fear causes adrenaline levels to rise. They know the adrenaline buzz hooks you. Trump news addiction is great for ratings.
Do you dream or daydream of advising Trump? Maybe turning his contreversial presidency into a new Camelot to bigly surpass JFK’s?– Get real, my fellow Trump junkie. Trump listens to no one but his own bathroom mirror’s reflection.
Are you sometimes jealous Trump was born with a silver spoon in his mouth? Might you stew that no matter how many times he ruins a business he just files for bankruptcy and bounces right back with that smug grin on his face some of us love or hate?
Are you the secret sorcerer who uses Trump memorabilia to cast potent magic spells that have cursed Trump’s presidency? Hopefully you don’t live in Salem. Or are you a gung ho convert, once a Hippie, but now you proudly wear your MAGA hat, following Trump on the road like a Dead Head to his fevered rallies that started 2.75 years ahead of the normal election cycle? If so, feel free to skip the rest of this test and immediately take the Trumpaholic oath below in the comments below.
Are you jealous you cannot hop aboard your private Presidential Boeing 747 on a whim, an army FBI agents and your more trusted private bodyguards in tow, then wing way to your Mar-A-Logo Florida palace to golf and hobnob with the super rich and world leaders? Pardon my WTF! But from both a liberal or conservative we need unite if just to put a cap on this taxpayer abuse.
Do you secretly wish you too could whisper sweet alternate realities to your loyal voter base who happily let slide the 2,000 sweet little lies that Trump racked up his first year in office? Liberal or conservative, you gotta admit Trump makes Teflon look like a porous substance.
Do you steal time from your job to sneak a quick rubberneck on your Mac or PC on the latest Trumpsaster, as though the fate of world depends on your knowing what he just Tweeted at 4AM from his golden toilet?
Afterwards, as a Trump chaser, do you annoy all your friends on FB posting the latest doom and gloom story from CNN on how Trump is going to: A. Cause a nuclear war with North Korea, Russia and/or China, B. Inspire a new race of Nazi bullies to take over America and appoint Trump as lifetime Fuhrer, C. Start an American Civil War (Hmm. Most of us don’t care enough to vote and we should worry about a Civil War?), D. Name a KKK member to the Supreme Court, E. Add any number of dark scenarios that your favorite niche news source feeds you, giving you ulcers and high blood pressure. If conservative, flip A though E over.
Have you lost a boatload of FB friends crusading either for or against Trump? With any luck, the so called friends you lost are the same idiots dragged you into the Cambridge Analytica mess.
Does your stomach growl as you pass your local fat factory, AKA McDonald’s, secretly wishing you could stuff your face with cheese burgers and fires daily in bed watching Fox & Friends reruns of your triumphs? All washed down by a dozen diet Cokes like Trump, and the still only tip the scales at a fit 239 due to your great genes! Or are you’re a health nut, repulsed by the mountains of cholesterol he ingests that would normally kill a horse, while you gain a pound even smelling a single french fry?
Have you’ve chuckled, or downright belly laughed, at viral videos of Trump on the tarmac, his combover flying at half mast? Or have you scorned liberals’ cruelty to dare to laugh at your hero desperately trying to look 20 years younger than his true senior self with his amazing comb over; one that keeps him busy half the day?
Have you ever compared your hand size to Trump’s? Be honest. Or does it annoy you how low desperate liberals are to dare attack your hero for his modest hand size and conversely penis size?
Do you want lock Hillary or Trump up? Or maybe put them both in adjoining cells?
Do you boo or cheer when Mueller appears in the news with his endless Russia probe or raid of a Trump crony, while you wish he would just get it the hell over with already?
Have you begun a Hail Mary of hope that a porn star might bring down Trump? Or do you agree with Trump’s mouthpiece Giuliani Stormy not half as hot as Melania and could not possibly have had the affair he had Michael Cohen pay $130K with his own money to cover up? If you are the latter please write me off the blog as I have a great deal on the Brooklyn bridge to sell you shares in.
Are you are studying Russian just in case the rumors that Trump’s a Putin puppet are true? Or do you get outraged over “The Russia, Russia Witch hunt” persecution of Trump by our “corrupt” FBI, who are secretly SPYGATE stooges to the those sneaky scumbag Democrats Trump hired who pretend to be Republicans?
Have you bought Comey’s new tell-all book and all the others popping up on Amazon like weeds on the Whitehouse lawn, to read or burn them?
Are you up on the latest conspiracy theories about the Deep State looking to bump off the Trump like the sneaky bastards did to JFK?
Does your brain hurt trying to ethically rationalize Trump’s affairs with porn stars and Playboy models while you find all the scandals vindication for how sleazy you always knew the Trumpster was? Or do you rage at your TV like a poor man’s Alex Jones at the sneaky liberals planting fake affairs #metoo left and right?
Do you want to free Melania or worry she vanishes from time to time and secret missions for her man? Or do you realize hers and Trump’s was likely an open marriage from the get-go?
Do you watch the bevy of comedians do a daily pile on of every Trump stumble in this marathon of shadenfreude; the German name for joy from other people’s misery? Trump’s become a cottage industry for comics. To name a few: Colbert, Noah, Maher, Fallon (late comer), Badlwin, Conan, Bee, Kimmel, and Oliver. I confess some days at the peak of my addiction I’d watch all the comics back to back. Like death by a thousand comedy cuts, they add up to days of wasted time I’ll never get back.
Last, if you have read this far it likely means and answered yes to any question you too are a Trumpaholic. Welcome to Trumpaholics Anonymous!
Now, before you run off in huff about my calling you a Trump addict after we just electronically met, don’t blame yourself. Love or hate him, the Donald is the unquestioned all-time champ for hogging the media spotlight for liberals and conservatives alike. Trump is a Jackson Pollock-like political artist.
On any given day, Trump might toss a splash of red collusion denial across his Twitter canvas, followed by gush of Stormy blue porno scandal, a dash of sunny yellow clown-like lawyers, then finish it all off with a gloop of WITCH HUNT! orange. And before the paint has dried Trump’s onto his next Pollock-like masterpiece.
Meantime, the mass media, comic and straight, liberal and conservative alike, broadcasts everyone of Trump’s crazy “tweet paintings”, pre-packaging what we Trumpaholics should think depending on the shade of our political box they jam us into. Truth is, today’s mass media is not so much “fake news” — a Trump trademark — as hopelessly niched.
Our shark media can never stop swimming and micro-judging everything Trump says or does. Lazy reporters pretend they love or hate what Trump tweets. But if they are honest with themselves, most know journalistic integrity died decades before Trump took the political spotlight.
Remember the Bush era? That’s when media first saw after 911 that fear can fuel the 24/7 news cycle. And presto the media became compliant in the whole WMD scam to launch the Iraq War and embed journalists to bring the horrors to your living room.
After years of Orange Alerts and no sign of WMDs, the American people finally got wise to the media broadcasting Bush’s fear tactics and news ratings fell. How then, the MBA’s pondered, to generate fresh fear mongering for maximum profit? And viola, depending on whether you’re a young gun toting pickup truck driver or an old tree hugger granola eater, Trump was crafted into a demon or angel. All broadcast on a newscast perfectly tailored to scare the living shit out of you.
Too much of anything, good or bad, is unhealthy. Americans have never seen anything as ridiculous and the 24/7 media circus that ruminates over every Trump act and tweet. So I invite you to join me on this blog in cutting way back on Trump news and news in general until we are given more truth. Face it Mass media is so conflicted it will never give us break. So we have to make one ourselves
In closing, you have a lot to gain watching lots less Trump news. Join me. You will feel lifted. Buh-lieve me!
Note: Before you comment below I’d love it if you’d please write: Hello. My name is _______________ and I am a Trumpaholic. Trolls, human or robotic, will be cheerfully escorted from the blog premises.