Story & Plot: Ken Sheetz
Dialogue & Formatting: Ken Sheetz assisted by ChatGPT
A non-commercial Star Trek fan fiction tribute, complete with tribute commercial breaks. Written with my deep respect for Star Trek, Gene Roddenberry, Lucille Ball, and the original series cast and crew.

TITLE SHOT
XMAS SHORE LEAVE
ACT 1
FADE IN:
EXT. SPACE — THE U.S.S. ENTERPRISE
The Enterprise glides through a shimmering blue-white nebula, her hull catching the soft, prismatic light of 3i/Atlas, sparkling like a giant ornament suspended in space.
KIRK (V.O.) — CAPTAIN’S LOG
Captain’s log, Stardate 1709.3. After a recent transporter malfunction gave me the worst case of split personality any captain could hope to survive… the Enterprise is en route to Earth. Lieutenant Uhura has arranged an unprecedented gathering—families of the crew assembled for a Christmas celebration at Earth’s North Pole.
(beat)
Starfleet calls it morale. I call it… overdue.
INT. ENTERPRISE — KIRK’S QUARTERS
KIRK stands at his desk, turning an old handmade Earth ornament in his fingers.
WHOOSH.
The door opens.
SPOCK enters, rigid, troubled.
SPOCK
Captain. I must formally object to attending this sentimental holiday gathering of an outdated ritual.
KIRK
Good morning to you too, Mister Spock.
SPOCK
I insist on remaining aboard the Enterprise with a skeleton crew while you and the others visit your families for the Xmas party.
Kirk turns, studying him.
KIRK
Spock… you’re six months into a five-year mission. And, well—you’re um—
WHOOSH.
MCCOY enters mid-sentence.
MCCOY
—I believe the phrase you’re lookin’ for, Jim, is “socially awkward.”
Spock stiffens.
SPOCK
Doctor, I fail to see the need to mock my distaste for human’s dependence on familial love.
MCCOY
—You never do.
KIRK
Bones.
MCCOY
What? The man treats Christmas like a communicable disease.
SPOCK
That is inaccurate. I merely find the holiday… inefficient.
KIRK
Inefficient?
SPOCK
An elderly human distributing gifts via non-logical means. A pine tree indoors. And a birth celebration shared by unrelated mythological figures. What does a baby Jesus and a white bearded man in a sleigh have in common?
McCoy points at Spock with his thumb as he gripes to Kirk.
MCCOY
See? Already missing the point.
Kirk steps closer, gentler.
KIRK
Spock… this isn’t about Santa or theology. It’s about people remembering who they are when they’re not wearing uniforms.
Spock considers.
SPOCK
Vulcans do not celebrate—
MCCOY
—Joy. We know.
A beat.
KIRK
Lieutenant Uhura has arranged a cultural research exhibit.
Spock’s eyebrow lifts.
SPOCK
Define “research exhibit.”
KIRK
(smiling)
A Santa Claus android.
Silence.
SPOCK
…I will require direct observation.
MCCOY
Hook, line, and mistletoe.
KIRK
Pack a parka, gentlemen.
EXT. EARTH — NORTH POLE — DAY
Brightly decorated to respect all faiths we see a Federation installation, half research station, half winter festival. Snow drifts gently. Laughter fills the air.
MONTAGE — “HAPPY HOLIDAYS AMONG THE STARS”
- UHURA ice skates through the gathering, greeting families of many religions in many languages.
- SULU skates badly with cousins, laughing harder than anyone.
- SCOTTY introduces his mother to the transporter room with visible terror.
- CHEKOV, no family, sadly watches other crew and families reunite… until MCCOY’S SOUTHERN FAMILY sweeps him in.
MCCOY’S MOTHER
You eat. You’re too thin.
CHEKOV
…Da?
McCoy watches, softened.
INT. NORTH POLE FESTIVAL — KIRK FAMILY QUARTERS
A modest but warm space. A small tree. Old Earth photographs. Snow taps softly at the window.
GEORGE KIRK (early 60s, steady, thoughtful) pours coffee.
WINONA KIRK (warm, perceptive) adjusts decorations.
GEORGE SAMUEL KIRK JR. (late 30s, grounded, wry) looks up as the door opens.
KIRK enters with SPOCK.
For a half-beat, Kirk isn’t a captain — he’s a son.
KIRK
Mom. Dad.
This is Commander Spock… my First Officer.
Spock inclines his head.
SPOCK
It is a pleasure to meet you.
George Jr. steps forward first, offering a hand.
GEORGE SAMUEL KIRK JR.
Jim’s said a lot about you.
(pauses, smiles)
Most of it flattering. That’s how I know it must be true.
Spock blinks, surprised, then accepts the handshake.
SPOCK
Your assessment is… appreciated.
Winona studies Spock with gentle curiosity.
WINONA KIRK
You’re welcome here, Commander.
Anyone who keeps my son alive out there…
(smiles)
…is already family.
Spock stiffens slightly at the word family.
George Kirk watches Jim — proud, quietly.
GEORGE KIRK
James always had trouble slowing down.
I imagine you help with that.
SPOCK
I attempt to mitigate unnecessary risk.
Kirk grins.
KIRK
He means he saves my life on a regular basis.
A small, uncomfortable beat.
Winona pours tea for Spock, hands it to him.
WINONA KIRK
And your family, Commander?
Your mother… is she not joining us today?
The room stills.
Spock straightens, defensive without raising his voice.
SPOCK
My mother resides on Vulcan.
Her presence here would be… impractical.
Kirk senses it immediately.
KIRK
Mom—
Winona gently raises a hand, unoffended.
WINONA KIRK
I didn’t mean to pry.
Spock exhales — barely.
SPOCK
She is human.
(pauses)
Her absence is… logical.
George Jr. clocks the tension.
GEORGE SAMUEL KIRK JR.
Well, then it’s good you’re here.
Spock looks at him.
GEORGE SAMUEL KIRK JR. (cont.)
Nobody should have to explain where they come from…
just to belong.
Spock considers this — longer than usual.
SPOCK
…That is a generous interpretation.
Winona smiles softly.
WINONA KIRK
Christmas tends to bring those out.
She gestures to the tree.
WINONA KIRK (cont.)
Sit. All of you.
Before the universe needs saving again.
They sit.
For a moment, no ranks. No missions.
Just people.
Kirk catches Spock’s eye — grateful.
Spock gives the smallest nod.
INT. FESTIVAL HALL — SANTA ANDROID DISPLAY
The SANTA ANDROID distributes gifts with flawless precision.
A despondent Spock circles it as Kirk looks on.
SANTA ANDROID
Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas, Officer Spock.
SPOCK
Curious. How do you know my name?
SANTA ANDROID
I know when you’ve sleeping. I know when you’re awake. I certainly your name as well as everyone else in the Federation. Merry Christmas, Captain Kirk.
KIRK
Ho, ho, ho back at you.
SPOCK
I find it deeply disturbing that an Android knows the names of every Federation citizen and their behavior, both good and bad. What if this artificial Santa fell into enemy hands?
SANTA ANDROID
In such a case I am programmed to self destruct!
SPOCK
Insufficient.
As if on cue a red alert sounds.
RED ALERT
KLINGON TRANSPORT SIGNATURES FLASH.
KLINGON WARRIORS materialize. Panic.
A KLINGON COMMANDER grabs KIRK’S MOTHER, disruptor raised.
KLINGON COMMANDER
James Kirk. Turn over your Santa — disarmed… or your Earth rituals end here.
Kirk freezes.
Spock steps forward.
SPOCK
Emotion now would be… inefficient.
MCCOY
For once, I agree.
Kirk meets his mother’s eyes. She nods.
KIRK
You picked the wrong planet… and the wrong holiday.
FADE OUT.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
CHEVROLET — 1967
Black and white. A Chevy pulls into a snowy driveway.
ANNOUNCER:
This Christmas, give your family confidence.
Power you can trust. Comfort you can feel.
Chevrolet. Putting you on the road… to a brighter tomorrow.
ACT II
INT. FESTIVAL HALL — CONTINUOUS
Klingons hold civilians at disruptor-point.
SPOCK steps forward.
SPOCK
Your actions violate Klingon Honor Code, Section Twelve.
KLINGON COMMANDER
There is no honor in human weakness.
A frightened CHILD drops a snowball.
Kirk scoops one up—THUMP—into a Klingon’s chest.
MCCOY
Jim… please tell me you have a plan.
A snowball flies back.
Suddenly—
A SNOWBALL FIGHT ERUPTS.
Laughter. Shock.
A snowball hits Spock.
He looks at it… then throws one back. Perfect.
The room ROARS.
The Commander raises his blade.
KLINGON COMMANDER
Enough!
Silence.
KIRK
I give you a choice.
SPOCK
Klingon tradition permits contests of skill in place of bloodshed.
KIRK
A race. Rocket sleds. To the true North Pole.
No weapons. No hostages.
KLINGON COMMANDER
And the prize?
KIRK
You win—you get what you came for.
We win—you leave Earth. Forever.
A beat.
KLINGON COMMANDER
Prepare your sleds.
FADE TO BLACK
COMMERCIAL BREAK
PEPSI — “COME ALIVE!”
Fast cuts. Laughter. Bottles popping.
ANNOUNCER:
This holiday season… come alive with Pepsi.
ACT III
EXT. ARCTIC EXPANSE — DAY
Two ROCKET SLEDS idle at the start line.
MCCOY (O.S.)
If you die on Christmas, I am never forgiving you!
KIRK
Fair.
KLINGON COMMANDER
Begin!
The sleds LAUNCH.
THE RACE
The Klingon sled surges ahead, engines screaming.
SPOCK
Their engines are operating beyond safe parameters.
KIRK
They like to win loud.
A massive ICE RIDGE looms ahead.
The Klingons veer around it the long way.
Spock studies the ice… then Kirk.
SPOCK
The challenge prohibits weapons against opponents.
It does not prohibit… terrain modification.
Kirk grins.
KIRK
How fast can you make a door?
Spock raises his PHASER.
SPOCK
Approximately three seconds.
A precise PHASER BEAM carves a glowing TUNNEL THROUGH THE ICEBERG.
Steam. Blue light.
Kirk steers straight in.

INT. ICE TUNNEL — CONTINUOUS
The sled rockets through shimmering ice walls.
KIRK
Remind me never to play chess with you again.
SPOCK
Noted.
They burst out the far side—
EXT. TRUE NORTH POLE — MOMENTS LATER
Kirk stops at precise coordinates.
Spock steps off, plants a FEDERATION MARKER.
SPOCK
Position confirmed. True geomagnetic North.
The Klingons arrive moments later, stunned.
KLINGON COMMANDER
You cheated.
SPOCK
Negative. We innovated.
Kirk steps forward.
KIRK
You challenged us to reach the Pole.
We did.
First.
The Commander exhales.
KLINGON COMMANDER
…Victory without combat.
(beat)
KLINGON COMMANDER
You understand honor… dangerously well.
The Klingons TRANSPORT OUT.
EXT. NORTH POLE — LATER
The party resumes.
Chekov eats with McCoy’s family.
Spock studies the Santa android again.
SPOCK
Generosity appears to strengthen group cohesion.
KIRK
That’s the secret.
The android hands Spock a gift.
A ROCKET SLED ORNAMENT.
Spock pockets it.
MCCOY
I told you. Contagious.
BUTTON
INT. ENTERPRISE — BRIDGE
Stars stretch.
KIRK (V.O.) — CAPTAIN’S LOG
Stardate 1709.9. Christmas reminded us that strength is not what we take… but what we protect.
Kirk notices the ornament hanging discreetly near Spock’s console.
KIRK
Mister Spock… how was your first Christmas?
Spock considers.
SPOCK
Illogical.
(beat)
But… satisfactory.
MCCOY
Great. Next year he’ll be caroling.
Kirk leans back, smiling.
KIRK
Merry Christmas, gentlemen.
FADE OUT.
END
FINAL CARD
With Deep Gratitude
This tribute honors Lucille Ball, whose courage and vision helped bring Star Trek to life—
a future where racism, sexism, and greed no longer define humanity,
and where cooperation, curiosity, and compassion lead the way.
Live long and prosper in whatever way you celebrate the holidays.

Learn more about Ken’s 3i/Atlas slate at Overactive Imagination Pictures.




