Wow. It’s only been handful of days since I almost left the planet. My 3rd March NDE (what’s my issue with March?) happened this past Wednesday. A Wednesday like any other. Elizabeth and I had gotten up and off to hike with our rescue dog Lincoln shortly after sunrise. We were back home before 8 AM and making breakfast.
I like to take my supplements before I eat so I gathered them up from the many bottles under our counter and did what I’ve done many times; popped a bunch of them in my mouth at once. Then it happened. I began violently gagging.
I staggered over to the sink to try to barf them up. My stomach wretched deeply but no luck getting the logjam of supplements free. Elizabeth asked if I was OK and next thing I knew I was on the hard tile kitchen floor face down; blood dripping from my mouth and nose.
I tried to get up but both my arms were numb. Elizabeth shouted, “Stay down, Ken! You passed out and smashed your head! Are you OK?” I was confused because the last thing I remembered was choking on supplements by the sink.
Soon a team of 6 paramedics were crammed in our Sedona kitchen. As they began strapping me into a stretcher, the lead paramedic examined my eyes with a small flashlight. “Normal contraction in both eyes,” he told his clan of rescuers. Elizabeth gave a grateful sigh of relief as he asked, “What happened?”
After I recounted my stupidity of taking too many supplements at once I was told I’d suffered a hard lesson about a part of my body I’d never heard of before, the Vagus nerve. Pronounced like Vegas, but not as much fun. It wraps around the esophagus and choking can trigger it. It’s used by wrestlers to induce a sleep hold.
For a guy who had a vision in a past near death as kid this 2019 NED was nothing like that. It feels more like reboot. I simply was here one minute, gone briefly, and then back with no visions of where I went.
The paramedic asked me as blood dripped from my mouth and nose, “Who is our president?”
“Sadly Trump,” I responded. My gallows humor got a few smiles according to Elizabeth and showed them I was going to be OK but they still insisted I go to the ER for Xrays and a CT scan. My heart was acting up a bit with what they hoped was a trauma induced an atrial fibrillation.
Each day I am recuperating rapidly. The outreach of love and support on Facebook and in real life has been deeply touching and began while I was briefly in the ER. Thankfully all the tests were good, nothing was broken and I did not suffer ever a concussion. And with all the healing energy that came my way my heart happily returned to its normal beat in a matter of hours.
Man, I remember chuckling when George Bush passed out choking on a pretzel that triggered his Vagus nerve back in 2002. Well, it’s not so funny now when I feel the pain in my neck head and shoulders from the fall, a lot better each day, that makes it a challenge to type right now.
The painful lesson I happily pass on: Take your supplements one at a time or end up like me and W.
During my stay at Malibu’s Great Spirits Ranch, hosting events and running social media for the bulk of 2012, I was blessed to meet many amazing stars of the LA spirit community. One of those LA stars is now my partner in love, biz and life, Elizabeth England. We’ve been living in bliss together now for three years, nestled in a lovely home in Sedona.
As we work round the clock to get the word out about an amazing line of EMF protection devices that literally save lives on our new CoolestTechEver.com e-commerce site, it can be easy to actually forget that magical time. A time when all of us in the yoga and meditation community across the planet were looking forward to the end of the Mayan calendar with hope for a new era in human awareness.
In that heady time, there was lovely woman named Annelise (Annalisa) Balfour who visited the Malibu ranch a few times for GSR events. Her mega-watt smile and contagious positive attitude made her a stand-out from the crowds who visited the 14 acres ranch, perched high above the city of Malibu in the Santa Monica mountains. Annelise was curious about my ET spirit guide Ohom and we had great conversation about the mission of the DreamShield to assist in gently elevating human consciousness through meditation.
Yesterday, amidst all the hype on FB surrounding the mid-term elections, which gratefully succeeded in the Dems taking the house to put some check on 45, I was shocked to learn that sweet Annelise had passed away from breast cancer. It instantly put all the nonsense surrounding Trump and our crazy-making politics into perspective.
Monday, at Ross Pittman’s of ConsciousLifeNews.com’s weekly power of eight meditation event, I asked the group to help Annelise on her journey. Everyone eagerly agreed. As soon as we all closed our eyes and dropped into our heart space I connected to my dear spirit guide Robin Williams; now enjoying an oceanic afterlife as a killer whale, after short reincarnations as a blue whale and a blue dolphin. Robin, who calls himself Nanu these days, volunteered to help in the group meditation.
Robin found Annelise’s spirit wandering the beach in Malibu. When she spotted Robin they connected telepathically and he playfully invited Annelise to swim out and climb aboard his back and hang onto his dorsal fin. Annelise happily accepted Robin’s invitation and soon they were off!
Annelise gleefully clung to Robin the killer whale like a mermaid born for this. Robin dove deep and soared up, flying from from wave to wave. Annelise laughed with carefree joy as the duo glided on the wind and waves.
Now Robin dove deep. Deeper and deeper, down to the bottom of the ocean he raced. At first Annelise worried about air but then chuckled she no longer had the need for mortal breathing. She gasped as up ahead a small portal of golden light opened, a glittering beacon on the dark ocean floor.
Robin told Annelise, “Sorry. Too small for me. This is as far as I can take you, babe. Enjoy your journey to the center for the earth!”
I watched the vision from the Sedona meditation circle with a giddy smile as Annelise’s spirit accepted Nanu’s whale of an invite and dove into the golden portal. Her spirit easily glided though the layers of the earth, gaining in power. Soon she arrived at the planetary core. But instead of hot magma she was amazed the earth’s core swirled in molten gold.
A large golden lever that stuck out from a golden column beckoned to Annelise. Free of mortal hesitation, she pulled the golden lever sharply down. To her joy a wave of golden energy sailed from the earth’s core rocketing out to the surface and kept right on going throughout the solar system and the whole universe.
The vision ended and I shared the story with our Sedona meditation group. Others shared visions too of her powerful presence. And I felt immense gratitude for the abundant health of my love Elizabeth and the mutual support we give each other as we continue to grow and develop as leaders of the conscious community.
Today, America awoke to a renewed Congress, blessed with 100 women of many races and creeds who, to record turnouts, were elected yesterday. Thanks for helping make that happen, Annelise and my coolest ever mediation Sedona pals! Safe journeys on whatever you are up to next on the other side, Annalisa. I have a feeling your part of your work will be helping heal the idiotic divides between the people.
Oh, and I’ll pass your thanks onto spirit guide and killer whale Nanu, AKA Robin Williams.
Place them side by side and the philosophies of Mr. Rogers and President Trump are nothing less than the forces love versus hate.
Nice guys versus tough guys are heavy on my mind today because last night my love Elizabeth wanted, well more like demanded, we watch a documentary about the life and work of Mr. Fred Rogers, host of the beloved PBS show MISTER ROGERS NEIGHBORHOOD, now on Amazon.
I was reluctant to watch it because I am 50s kid. So Mr. Rogers’ PBS show was not part of my childhood. Digging deeper in my reluctance, I recalled a lot of rumors back in the Nixon years of Mr. Rogers being a Gay. Worse, a pedophile.
Finally, after some gentle scolding from Elizabeth for buying into the rumor mill, I watched WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR. The film erased decades of horrible Matrix programming. In the masterful film I simply saw a gentle family man with children and wife who dedicated himself to teaching kids that love and kindness is a powerful way to live.
The Sun-Times called it the feel good film of the year. But I’d call WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR one of the most important films my lifetime. Why? You see, my Dad was a blue collar welder who came to maturity as a US Army drill sergeant. Dad never understood the fact I could be an an artist and nice person and not be Gay, much like Fred Rogers.
I can’t help but wonder what he would have thought of Trump’s disrespect of a man far his moral superior, Senator John McCain, this past week.
As devoted Christian, Mr. Rodgers had to be rolling over in his grave this week as the ever self-serving Donald Trump, fearing impeachment, told a gathering evangelical leaders that there will be violence if the Democrats retake the House and Senate come November 2018. Violence? Only if he’s the one making it happen by continuing to demonize Democrats.
If Trump lasts in office until 2020, it’s going to be the three generations of the WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR students of love and kindness of Mister Rogers that sweep him from office.
Thanks for the 5 star Mister Rogers enlightenment Elizabeth. As always, you lift me higher.
It was not as easy as thought it would be, but I have succeeded in my goal for one week of abstaining from Trump news.
Good news, the fate of the world has not changed during my week of freedom from reading Trump news or watching Trump related media.
Even more interesting, because Trump is so omnipresent in the fixated media’s headlines and in my friends social media postings, I did not miss any important Trump news by ignoring the master agitator.
Most interesting of all, a lot of my accidental addiction to the endless cycle of anger filled Trump news has been released. I cried for half an hour today, day 7 of my #TrumpCleanse, and I do not cry as a habit very much.
I cried for the pain in both political camps, conservative and liberal. Both trapped in a cycle of mutual hatred.
I cried for my hero Tom Hanks getting smeared with the phony pedophile brush used by the extreme right to attack those who disagree with Trump.
I cried for the victims of school shootings getting accused by the extreme right of being actors.
I cried for lost friends from both ends of the political spectrum as I continue to hold the center, at least as I see it, between the true left and true right.
I cried for the left brain oriented people who love the world of illusion versus reality. The left side of the brain is numbers and analysis. So my theory, gained in the free time dropping Trump news gave me to meditate, is that left brained people are so starved for the fanciful they are prone to political brainwashing.
I cried for the rising Q movement that plays into a left-brained fever dream that Trump is some kind of genius secretly working with Mueller to draw out darkness Trump alone can solve in America’s soul. Now that’s one “sad” delusion.
I cried for great comedians of today who are raking up Trump schtick everyday.
I cried for our free press under constant attack by Trump and his followers.
I cried for a GOP in tatters and for the lost Dems, who serve the same corporate masters, who have yet to offer any real change I can discern.
I cried about the endless Russia investigation and the web of lies surrounding it on both sides.
I cried for the families of World War Two soldiers who died fighting the Nazi’s only to see Nazi-like racism rise on our own shores.
I cried for our allies who’ve been so badly mistreated by Trump.
I cried for all the people who serve and lie for Trump at the peril of the reputations and souls.
I cried for the constant devise bombardment of Russian trolls and their unchecked hacking of our democracy.
I cried for a lot more things wrong in our lives right now that have nothing to do with Trump, who serves as diversion while fat cats mess with our lives.
But most of all I cried at last for the loss of my brother Fred 8 months ago. Fred and I used to discuss politics for hours on end. I realize I’ve been using Trump news to avoid thinking of Fred.
My kid brother Fred was one of the smartest most insightful people I’ve ever known. Sadly, Fred was a perfectionist who fell into depression about our imperfect world. He escaped his pain through drugs and alcohol. And at only 62 Fred escaped this world for good, ending his life in a nursing home alone and estranged from me and our whole family.
Farewell, dear brother. I hope you’ll help us through these Trumpy times from the other side.
I am happy to report that after abstaining from Trump news for a full week I truly feel like a new man. That’s a lot of emotional gain from simply tuning out the most famous man in the world.
Don’t believe me when I say Trump is the most famous person in the world? Well, a company called mediaQuant, which measures the value of free media exposure if it had to be bought, estimated in the month of January of 2017 that Trump got more media attention than the other top 1,000 celebrities in the world combined. No wonder Trump’s so hard to ignore.
So feel no shame if you too are a Trump news junkie. Liberal or conservative, please consider giving yourself a Trump anger toxin free week. You will still know what’s happening without reading the slanted stories and video I assure you.
Again, tears are an emotional detox. So after a week, or longer if needed, of freedom from Trump’s circus be sure to have a box tissues ready because Trump’s angry America is a real tearjerker.
Please share this idea of doing a #Trumpcleanse.
And be sure to check out a new cool tool for detoxing yourself of EMF radiation we are proud to present at CoolestTechEver.com
That’s right. Heart attack by overeating. And not just for Trump, but I get ahead of myself.
Trump’s dangling a cabinet spot before Dr. Ronnie Jackson’s nose smells of coercion for the rigging of the POTUS’s annual physical. No way Trump tips the scales at a hilarious 239 pounds. Lying about health is not healthy for Donald Trump nor America.
Karma, in The Donald’s obese case, could lead to… sing it Billy!
Not wishful thinking on my part. I actually want Trump to live out his term or, God forbid, impeachment. I say “God forbid” because can you imagine the wave of conspiracy theories and hard feelings his impeachment would result in? Seriously, it’s not worth booting Trump IMHO if it reboots The Civil War.
Guys, take it from a man who’s meditated far too long on the meaning of Trump showing up so prominently in our lives, it’s pointless to stress over Trump and his childish antics. Even if he lasts 2 full terms, likely at this point if the economy Obama rebuilt he’s coasting on holds. Heck, that’s less than a blink of an eye in the planet’s 5 billion year life so far. All the drama in the 24/7 news cycle every time he tweets some idiocy is just a big old ratings gimmick.
Let’s take a fear that pops up in various forms in liberal media: “Trump and his “deplorables”( according Trump arch nemesis Hilary) followers are taking us down the road to an American-Nazi regime!” Hello. America practically invented genocide, wiping out millions of Native Americans long before the Nazis were even a twinkle in Hitler’s evil eye.
Look on the bright side: Trump looks to be here to ring out the old and stimulate the new into action. That’s if he does not commit suicide by Mac Attack. Give him this, he’s shinning the light, albeit unintentionally, in dark place of the American psyche that needs healing, all the way back to the founding fathers; many of whom were slave owners.
And speaking of liberal overkill on outrage, shame on Samantha Bee for calling Ivanka the C word. Liberals, since the other side of the political family, currently the bad boys, must lead by example, not play in the same mud as Trump. Bee should be fired IMHO.
And while we are getting real, let’s give equal time to conservative mania in the media. Sorry Trump fans, Jared is not bringing peace to the Middle East, Ivanka is not a champion of women’s rights and no way Trump is to going bully his way to a Nobel in North Korea peace talks. Off as of this post.
Yeah. Let’s all get really real: Liberals and their Trumped up outrage, and Conservatives, placing Trump on a shaky pedestal founded in wishful thinking, are both wrong! I am lucky enough to call a few billionaires friends and I assure you, all are quite mortal and petty at times. Money does not make anyone smart, which Trump exhibits for us daily.
Why on earth would anyone want to emulate Trump in the first place? I mean, the overeating, and oversexed old guy is miserable. And it shows from the Michael Cohen clean up reports that Donald all too often pays big time for his sexcapades. The sad result? Trump’s marriage to Melania is a train wreck.
Cue Melania hand swat video!
Off attacks of the heart and back onto heart attacks. Coronaries are simple eating physics: Fatty foods + lack of exercise = stroke or death by clogged arteries. Next, for good measure, toss in Trump’s severe anger issues (a sad sign of the onset of dementia) into the equation and you wonder why the Don’s not already stroked out and drooling in a presidential wheelchair.
Read more at WebMD about the link of anger to heart attacks.
Heck, want proof Dr. Jackson is likely a big fat liar about Trump’s odds of buying the farm before he can undo all of Obama’s legacy? Look no further than Trump’s 2016 doctor, the eccentric Dr. Bornstein. Currently on the outs with Trump for blabbing about the POTUS using propecia for his bald spot(s). Cosmic justice for letting Trump dictate his own 2016 checkup for the enabling Bornstein.
Election doctor Bornstein confesses that Trump dictated his presidential health report himself.
Now let’s talk about the dozen diet Cokes Trump reportedly drinks daily. Studies show diet drink are bad for the brain and may even cause cancer. Steady use of diet pop can leads to dementia; as this AARP story outlines. The same disorder that killed Regan, Mr. President, if you’re reading. Yeah, right. As if. LOL.
My theory is Trump’s cannot start his workday until 11AM because his health is so feeble that he spends mornings as a couch potato, watching of the GMO of mind control Fox & Friends, while he drifts in and out of slumber. Here’s a short film on Trump’s shortness of breath example that will leave you breathless.
Now that’s a SAD video. Unfortunately, I am something of an expert heart failure symptoms because I landed in the hospital for my wakeup call just 10 weeks ago. All brought on by an overeating contest with my love’s millennial. Still what I downed was organic, nothing approaching Trump’s crazy GMO diet.
Just saying, my recent horrors of the heart give me an edge seeing Trump is on the road to ruin. Let me tell you, dear reader, it’s weird as hell to feel your life’s flame get so low in heart failure that a puff of air could blow out your candle. After my wakeup call, complete with an ER visit, my doctor suggested, along with putting me on 6 medications, that I drop 40 pounds to get in optimal cardio shape. My current weight? I am down to 239 pounds from 247. How’s that for a weird coincidence? Difference is I am a real 239, Trump is not.
Scaling up with how I currently look, fatter than I’ve ever been in my life, just as fat as Trump at 239 pounds, but given he’s 3 inches taller than me, my guess is Trump’s true weight is more like 270- 280. Make your guess in comments below as to #Trumpsrealweight. If we ever learn the truth I’ll send the closest guesser a free CoolestMeditationEver.com t-shirt.
We all know Trump has ego issues. That’s why he’s not seeing he is being bad role model for we already obese Americans. His eating habits are toxic. Here’s great video here of two people feeling ill effects after just one day of eating like Trump.
Urp! Now, fans of my planetary meditations, where I delve deep into the real and imagined worlds, might not know that I’ve earned a living from time to time as a paid political humorist. And I have a hit 2000 PBS show that led into the Bush/Gore debates plus a #1 in it’s niche 2008 Amazon DVD to prove it.
But please take me deadly serious when I warn Trump’s bad eating will, by bad example, kill more Americans than anything else he bumbles or blusters his way through during his troubled presidency, short of nuclear war with the equally out of shape Kim Jong Un. Please, fans and friends, especailly ME!, don’t eat like Trump!
So, what do you think? Should the GOP seek to reign in Trump’s horrible eating habits to save American lives and to preserve their chance for an 8 year run for their man?
OK. I hear you, dear readers, “Get real, Sheetz. Do you really believe a man who must always have two scoops of ice cream with his desert will ever listen to anything but his own stomach?
I’ll lead off this blog with a message from my ET spirit guide:
“Every living being in the universe experiences immortality in the 5D quantum field.” Love, Ohom
Ohom’s coolest ever message came to me in the aftermath of a March 9, 2018 heart scare. Since I’ve been blessed by near perfect health my whole life this came totally out of left field.
But a prefect storm of stress, combined with a 60 day 25 pound weight gain, brought on by entertaining a food-loving future 23-year-old son-in-law for three months, had raised my blood pressure to twice normal levels.
Thanks to my awareness that something was very wrong, my love drove me to the ER where they took one look at me and rushed me to an ICU for treatment. It was a close call this heart failure did not escalate to a heart attack or stroke. I feel deeply blessed to still be here blogging to you.
BTW, I taught my 88 year-old mom what the word blog means the other day. “Blog? What a weird word!”she complained.
On March 11th I told the hospital doctors, determined to scare me into better self-care, that they’d find my heart was in decent shape when they examined me. I knew this not just because am I blessed with being pretty psychic, but because I had just hiked the Grand Canyon 6 months earlier with zero heart trouble.
The angiogram, which I had to wait two and a half days to have done, determined my heart, as I predicted, was not permanently damaged by my freak spike in blood pressure. (BP health tip. Avoid using baking soda for heartburn. Too high in sodium!) As well, my arteries checked out unclogged and my heart valves were working great. That happy Monday after my angiogram I was the “good news patient” in the ICU. The outright joy of the nurses and doctors over my groovy angiogram still warms my healing heart.
But it was not all roses for my heart reports. An echogram revealed that the part of my heart that pumps the blood, called the ventricles, was enlarged and my normally dependable heart operating at only half normal pumping power. No wonder I had become weak as kitten, short of breath went into heart failure.
Nine weeks into my heart recovery program at this posting, I am on a lot of expensive meds to rebuild my heart. One prescription, Entresto, costs $2500 for 60 tablets. That’s $41.60 a freaking pill! Thank god for my Medicare which just began last fall.
Good news, as I make this post, I have graduated from 6 weeks of cardio training, gone on a diet and joined a gym. I’m well on way to fulfilling my heart doctor’s rare prediction of 100% recovery. Heck, I’m going for 200% recovery. No rules against that!
Indeed, the heart pros have called my recovery “remarkable”. So far so good. Echogram again in June and then I’ll confirm if my heart is back to full pumping power. I feel it is a month ahead of schedule. Fingers crossed.
I have some theories on why my recovery has been so strong, besides the incredible outpouring of love, prayer and good intentions from family, friends and fans, that I want to share with you.
Ohom’s message on the nature of what immortality actually is all about, 5D -wise, came to me a little before my heart scare, but without my getting it at first. When I get massive visions like the one of ET healing the earth in 2010, which ended me up meditating to help heal humanity on 12.12.12 in Antarctica, it can take me years to figure epic visions out.
Ironically, it was the four days on my back in the Verde Valley Hospital that gave me the unexpected free time to understand an ET vision I’d had early this year. And I am just now finding the time to blog about it!
Looking back on my own multi-dimensional ET self as I lay in the air-pressurized as hell ICU bed, hooked up to IVs and monitors, was that what I had seen a few months earlier in the ET vision Ohom sent me is reality is in fact is a 5D Fibonacci sfield of trillions of universes. Think of sunflower face, but as sphere, where each seed is one of an infinite number of realities.
On this timeline, on which I am happily still writing to you, and on most other timelines, there exists an infinite range of my realities; from my being dead or good as a dead, as a stroked out man in a wheelchair, to my life as a space traveling ever-youthful immortal running marathons on other worlds that humanity is colonizing in other galaxies. And all these infinite realities are ruled by one master soul that we call God.
HOW MY HEART FAILURE HELPED ME UNDERSTAND DR. FLANAGAN’S IMMORTALITY CHAMBER
Looking deeper down the quantum rabbit hole of my heart scare, I see this 5D quantum immortality I have had its origins in a 2013 2D filming super scientist Patrick Flanagan, founder of PhiSciences.com.
One hot summer 2013 day, I was editing in the sweltering closet that was my makeshift edit suite off a humble attic room, tucked above a dusty little B&B we rented for my visit from LA to film super scientist Dr. Flanagan, when my cell rang. It was Pat on the line. Excited he said, “Hi, Ken. Want to be immortal?”
Without hesitation I shouted, “Of course!” As I raced my rental car to Pat’s Cornville estate, which doubled then as his home lab, I felt blessed to have to this amazing genius in my life.
A gentle desert breeze blew through the screen of open front door of the great inventor’s white adobe home, perched above the Verde River with a commanding view. Pat spotted me at the entrance and called me out onto the patio. I passed through the spacious living room filled with scared objects that he and his wife Stephanie have gathered from around the world, mixed with Pat’s half finished experiments that occupied every horizontal surface.
Arriving on the deck overlooking the Verde Valley and Mingus Mountains I gasped at the sight of the world renowned scientist’s prototype made of plywood and 2X4’s you see in this video. Seeing a new invention is this early stage of development is a rare treat I am honored to have filmed. Enjoy the video before reading on.
After I finished filming I got my turn to bathe in the energies of Pat’s immortality chamber prototype. When I came out Pat said with his famous mischievous smile, “Congratulation, Ken. You’re immortal now. You will only die if someone chops your head off, like in THE HIGHLANDER.” We all had a good laugh at Pat’s joke.
How cool to finally understand what this modern-day Tesla, Dr. Flanagan, meant. I am grateful for my heart troubles as it’s allowed me to see what Pat meant on 5D form here in 2018. I also love Patrick’s brilliant and beautiful wife’s message in the video. BTW, she’s an absolute human angel who adores Donald Trump as president. Her high opinion of the Donald, despite my own grave reservations on Trump that often get the better on me, gives me hope there is a deeper value to his presidency than I’ve yet to see.
Stephanie’s line at the end of the Immortality Chamber video, “Isn’t it wild?” sums up a lot of the 5D fibonacci of the immortality vision for me to live with courage and to feel love for all realities. Good and bad are human labels.
Shameless and proud plug, visit the Coolest Meditation Ever (CME) page for Dr. Flanagan’s amazing Sensor v medallion. On the sales page you’ll hear the doctor explain it’s a portable pyramidal abundance field generator. I can tell you in the five years of abundance that I’ve had my Sensor V since he gifted me one is that it is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s flat out worked miracles in my life, including a return to abundant health.
I had to buy one for my love Elizabeth, pictured below. The Sensor V has worked just as great for her too. In fact she is away right now on abundant trip to the Bahamas for yoga intensive training!
Hi, my name is Ken Sheetz… and I am a Trumpaholic.
A quick Google search defines addiction as “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.” And that addictive activity in my case is overdosing on Trump news.
I forgive myself for my strange addiction because we are all living in polarized reality where our media is getting rich as lords pitting liberal versus conservative Americans against one another. Spoon feeding both camp’s deepest and darkest fears about Trump and his followers or opponents.
Admitting your addiction to today’s weaponized media is half the cure, so I’ve complied the following handy questionnaire of Trumpaholic symptoms, from both a liberal and conservative POV. May it shine a humorous light on our new national pass time: Trump.
Do you read Trump’s daily tweets before MSBC, CNN, Etc. can report what a horrible president Trump is? Or do so before Fox and Breitbart can report what an amazing genius super stable president Trump is? All in an endless electronic circle jerk of full employment for the makers of the news and comedy?
Further down the Trump rabbit hole, do you tweet-troll Trump as villain on his POTUS page? Or do you take up your mighty PC as sword to do Twitter battle with the sanctimonious lyin’ Comey fans to defend Trump the hero/king? Either way, the odds favor that you are having a flame war with a Twitter bot or Russian troll farm employee whose full job it is to sow hatred between we Yanks.
Do you follow the ups and downs of Trump’s cabinet and family like a soap opera, or better reality show, but one where the stakes are life and death for us all in hail of nuclear bombs sending us all back to the Stone Age?
Does Trump news, bad or good, raise your blood pressure? No shame. Love or hate Trump, adrenaline has no political affiliation. Liberal or conservative the media both sell fear and fear causes adrenaline levels to rise. They know the adrenaline buzz hooks you. Trump news addiction is great for ratings.
Do you dream or daydream of advising Trump? Maybe turning his contreversial presidency into a new Camelot to bigly surpass JFK’s?– Get real, my fellow Trump junkie. Trump listens to no one but his own bathroom mirror’s reflection.
Are you sometimes jealous Trump was born with a silver spoon in his mouth? Might you stew that no matter how many times he ruins a business he just files for bankruptcy and bounces right back with that smug grin on his face some of us love or hate?
Are you the secret sorcerer who uses Trump memorabilia to cast potent magic spells that have cursed Trump’s presidency? Hopefully you don’t live in Salem. Or are you a gung ho convert, once a Hippie, but now you proudly wear your MAGA hat, following Trump on the road like a Dead Head to his fevered rallies that started 2.75 years ahead of the normal election cycle? If so, feel free to skip the rest of this test and immediately take the Trumpaholic oath below in the comments below.
Are you jealous you cannot hop aboard your private Presidential Boeing 747 on a whim, an army FBI agents and your more trusted private bodyguards in tow, then wing way to your Mar-A-Logo Florida palace to golf and hobnob with the super rich and world leaders? Pardon my WTF! But from both a liberal or conservative we need unite if just to put a cap on this taxpayer abuse.
Do you secretly wish you too could whisper sweet alternate realities to your loyal voter base who happily let slide the 2,000 sweet little lies that Trump racked up his first year in office? Liberal or conservative, you gotta admit Trump makes Teflon look like a porous substance.
Do you steal time from your job to sneak a quick rubberneck on your Mac or PC on the latest Trumpsaster, as though the fate of world depends on your knowing what he just Tweeted at 4AM from his golden toilet?
Afterwards, as a Trump chaser, do you annoy all your friends on FB posting the latest doom and gloom story from CNN on how Trump is going to: A. Cause a nuclear war with North Korea, Russia and/or China, B. Inspire a new race of Nazi bullies to take over America and appoint Trump as lifetime Fuhrer, C. Start an American Civil War (Hmm. Most of us don’t care enough to vote and we should worry about a Civil War?), D. Name a KKK member to the Supreme Court, E. Add any number of dark scenarios that your favorite niche news source feeds you, giving you ulcers and high blood pressure. If conservative, flip A though E over.
Have you lost a boatload of FB friends crusading either for or against Trump? With any luck, the so called friends you lost are the same idiots dragged you into the Cambridge Analytica mess.
Does your stomach growl as you pass your local fat factory, AKA McDonald’s, secretly wishing you could stuff your face with cheese burgers and fires daily in bed watching Fox & Friends reruns of your triumphs? All washed down by a dozen diet Cokes like Trump, and the still only tip the scales at a fit 239 due to your great genes! Or are you’re a health nut, repulsed by the mountains of cholesterol he ingests that would normally kill a horse, while you gain a pound even smelling a single french fry?
Have you’ve chuckled, or downright belly laughed, at viral videos of Trump on the tarmac, his combover flying at half mast? Or have you scorned liberals’ cruelty to dare to laugh at your hero desperately trying to look 20 years younger than his true senior self with his amazing comb over; one that keeps him busy half the day?
Have you ever compared your hand size to Trump’s? Be honest. Or does it annoy you how low desperate liberals are to dare attack your hero for his modest hand size and conversely penis size?
Do you want lock Hillary or Trump up? Or maybe put them both in adjoining cells?
Do you boo or cheer when Mueller appears in the news with his endless Russia probe or raid of a Trump crony, while you wish he would just get it the hell over with already?
Have you begun a Hail Mary of hope that a porn star might bring down Trump? Or do you agree with Trump’s mouthpiece Giuliani Stormy not half as hot as Melania and could not possibly have had the affair he had Michael Cohen pay $130K with his own money to cover up? If you are the latter please write me off the blog as I have a great deal on the Brooklyn bridge to sell you shares in.
Are you are studying Russian just in case the rumors that Trump’s a Putin puppet are true? Or do you get outraged over “The Russia, Russia Witch hunt” persecution of Trump by our “corrupt” FBI, who are secretly SPYGATE stooges to the those sneaky scumbag Democrats Trump hired who pretend to be Republicans?
Have you bought Comey’s new tell-all book and all the others popping up on Amazon like weeds on the Whitehouse lawn, to read or burn them?
Are you up on the latest conspiracy theories about the Deep State looking to bump off the Trump like the sneaky bastards did to JFK?
Does your brain hurt trying to ethically rationalize Trump’s affairs with porn stars and Playboy models while you find all the scandals vindication for how sleazy you always knew the Trumpster was? Or do you rage at your TV like a poor man’s Alex Jones at the sneaky liberals planting fake affairs #metoo left and right?
Do you want to free Melania or worry she vanishes from time to time and secret missions for her man? Or do you realize hers and Trump’s was likely an open marriage from the get-go?
Do you watch the bevy of comedians do a daily pile on of every Trump stumble in this marathon of shadenfreude; the German name for joy from other people’s misery? Trump’s become a cottage industry for comics. To name a few: Colbert, Noah, Maher, Fallon (late comer), Badlwin, Conan, Bee, Kimmel, and Oliver. I confess some days at the peak of my addiction I’d watch all the comics back to back. Like death by a thousand comedy cuts, they add up to days of wasted time I’ll never get back.
Last, if you have read this far it likely means and answered yes to any question you too are a Trumpaholic. Welcome to Trumpaholics Anonymous!
Now, before you run off in huff about my calling you a Trump addict after we just electronically met, don’t blame yourself. Love or hate him, the Donald is the unquestioned all-time champ for hogging the media spotlight for liberals and conservatives alike. Trump is a Jackson Pollock-like political artist.
On any given day, Trump might toss a splash of red collusion denial across his Twitter canvas, followed by gush of Stormy blue porno scandal, a dash of sunny yellow clown-like lawyers, then finish it all off with a gloop of WITCH HUNT! orange. And before the paint has dried Trump’s onto his next Pollock-like masterpiece.
Meantime, the mass media, comic and straight, liberal and conservative alike, broadcasts everyone of Trump’s crazy “tweet paintings”, pre-packaging what we Trumpaholics should think depending on the shade of our political box they jam us into. Truth is, today’s mass media is not so much “fake news” — a Trump trademark — as hopelessly niched.
Our shark media can never stop swimming and micro-judging everything Trump says or does. Lazy reporters pretend they love or hate what Trump tweets. But if they are honest with themselves, most know journalistic integrity died decades before Trump took the political spotlight.
Remember the Bush era? That’s when media first saw after 911 that fear can fuel the 24/7 news cycle. And presto the media became compliant in the whole WMD scam to launch the Iraq War and embed journalists to bring the horrors to your living room.
After years of Orange Alerts and no sign of WMDs, the American people finally got wise to the media broadcasting Bush’s fear tactics and news ratings fell. How then, the MBA’s pondered, to generate fresh fear mongering for maximum profit? And viola, depending on whether you’re a young gun toting pickup truck driver or an old tree hugger granola eater, Trump was crafted into a demon or angel. All broadcast on a newscast perfectly tailored to scare the living shit out of you.
Too much of anything, good or bad, is unhealthy. Americans have never seen anything as ridiculous and the 24/7 media circus that ruminates over every Trump act and tweet. So I invite you to join me on this blog in cutting way back on Trump news and news in general until we are given more truth. Face it Mass media is so conflicted it will never give us break. So we have to make one ourselves
In closing, you have a lot to gain watching lots less Trump news. Join me. You will feel lifted. Buh-lieve me!
Note: Before you comment below I’d love it if you’d please write: Hello. My name is _______________ and I am a Trumpaholic. Trolls, human or robotic, will be cheerfully escorted from the blog premises.