Chapter 6 – Trump’s Worst Nightmare

Radio Show Audio With Score and Sound Effects

Since April 2020 I’ve been developing TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM, hosted temporarily here on my meditation blog, as a warts and all work-in-progress. Warning violent content and explicit language ahead. Whadya expect from a Trump nightmare were still trapped in?

And speaking of nightmares: Trump is about to have a Black Lives Matter nightmare, which of course bears very little similarity to reality.

Chapter 6 – Trump’s Worst Nightmare

Meanwhile, one timeline away, in July of 2020, an alternate universe’s Trump has been struck with a deadly case of Coronavirus and is lost in a delusional series of fever dreams. Kinda like our own Trump does with his eyes wide open.

Dr. Faucci makes a deep incision in Trump’s throat. Blood trickles, crossing the orange tan line where Trump’s bloated chest meets his saggy neck.

Faucci says, “OK, I’ve successfully made the incision to avoid the President’s damaged throat tissue, caused by drinking bleach. Insert the ventilator tube, Dr. Edwards of you will.”

Dr. Edwards takes over the operation and Faucci heads for the door, wiping sweat from his furrowed brow.

Ivanka, sporting the latest Paris fashion Covid mask, rises to her feet along with the mask wearing Jared when Dr. Faucci exits the surgery room. She asks nervously, “Doctor Faucci, is Daddy going to be OK?”

Dr. Faucci sighs deeply and wipes sweat from his forehead, “A tracheotomy is a relatively easy procedure. My real concern is that your father hid his catching virus for too long. And, well, the bleach.”

“That’s no answer, Tony!” blurts Jared, his normally high pitched feeble voice nearly inaudible beneath his red, white and blue mask.

Dr. Faucci ignores Jared and calmly addresses Ivanka, “Your father’s odds of a recovery are quite low. And even if he does ever recover, he may be in a mentally reduced to the condition of a moron —

“Reduced?” mutters Jared,

“- where he can no longer serve as president,” finishes Fauci.

Ivanka spins to pound Jared’s tiny chest.

In the adjacent operating room, dead to the real world, Trump does not stir on the operating table as Dr. Edwards carefully inserts a respirator air tube through Faucci’s tracheotomy incision. The operating room fades from view as the White House Bunker fades into view…

Nestled in the safely of his bunker beneath the White House, the real world a forgotten memory, Trump offers his best presidential poker face as his advisors wrangle with a new series of more violent BLM protests.

Larry Kudlow gasps as on the big screen an array of BLM protestors use a stolen city bus to flatten the White House fence. The angry mob charges the heavily armed Secret Service Agents.

Mark Meadows says, “Relax, Larry.  Our troops learned in Portland how to put these dogs to sleep.”

“Relax? This is revolution! And we all know what happens to the player in an old regime, especially one as cruel as ours,” croaks Larry.

Trump laughs at Larry and says, “Chill, Larry. Theses walls of the vault are 6 feet thick, or something like that kinda thickness. Tremendously thick. And we have all the comforts of home here. The best champagne.  The best caviar.”

On screen the Federal Troops lay down their weapons as the angry mob races past them.

“What in Holy Hell?!” shouts Trump, cracking one of TV screens with his tiny fists.

The Director of the Secretive Service, James Murray, calmly says to the shocked Trump, “Not to worry, sir. Like you just said, in your genius way, the protesters cannot possibly reach us down here.”

“Protest? You call this fucking protest.?” bellows Trump.

“Look, sir. The lowlifes have zero chance!” shouts Stephen Miller, making a Nazi salute, which he fakes into a stretch.

“Let’s get back to talking about my fantastic Mt. Rushmore monument to the greatest presidency ever! Mine! Tell me about getting head, Kayleigh.”

The men all laugh at Trump’s sexist joke, while Kayleigh does her best to hide her disgust. She rolls over a model of Mt Rushmore into the bunker conference room. “Mr. President, I’m afraid the Rushmore survey ream has determined that there is not enough structural integrity to the surrounding rock to add your incredible face.”

“I am not happy about this, Kayleigh!” grumps Trump, folding his arms across his big belly.

Screen Shot 2020-08-09 at 5.03.13 PM

“It’s OK, Mr. President. We have a solution…” Kayleigh loses her train of thought as on the big screen protestors fall and die under heavy gunfire from a more resistant line of White House defense. But an endless stream bat wielding protestors take their place in the bloody battle for the White House above.

“Go on Kayleigh. Don’t worry about the losers up there. Nigger scum,” snarls Trump.

“Well I see a lot of white people with these guys,” says Kudlow.

“The losers can’t reach us. Go on, Kayleigh. Give me some head!” chuckles Trump.

Mastering her outrage Kayleigh says, “Well, it’s simple. All we have to do is re-chisel one of the four heads into your amazing image. All that remains is for you to pick who to replace with your handsome face. Who shall it be, Mr. President, Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt or Lincoln, sir?”

Trump relishes at this historic decision making moment, spinning around and around in his larger life leather chair, and finally decreeing,”Q-Anon calls me the greatest civil rights leader of all time. Lowest unemployment for Blacks ever. Well, before the Covid started killing them off like flies. So I pick to replace the head of Abraham Lincoln head with mine. My base will love it and my haters can eat shit and die.”

Meadows offers obsequiously, “Brilliant as always, sir!  It’s true you have supplanted Lincoln in the hearts of the people after all!”

The gathering of white men, plus one frustrated woman in Kayleigh, give Trump a standing ovation.

For a split-second Trump is back in the real world. Trump’s heartbeat stops on the monitor. Dr. Fauci takes up shock paddles and shouts, “Clear!” and jolts Donald Trump.

Shocked back into his bunker fever dream, Trump points at the security monitor and bellows, “What?! Those rioters, they’re in my Oval office!”

Trump and his team watch helplessly as the security TV screen shows a rush of protestors of all races and creeds swarming into the Oval Office

Trump demands, “Murray, set off the self-destrust bomb and blow the fucking Antifa anarchists off the face of the earth!”

Murray pleadingly turns to Meadows, who coldly nods for him to carry out Trump’s command. “You heard the president.”

Turning to the monitors, where the Resolute Desk is being set aflame, Murray anguishes and finally croaks, “I respectfully decline to carry out your orders to blow up the protestors, sir. You have my resignation.”

Trump spins to Defense Secretary Esper and roars, “Esper, wipe out these fucking terrorists!”

“These are American citizen’s, Mr. President. They can’t reach us in here. I respectfully refuse and resign as well,”

“Where are my Portland shock and awe troops?!” shouts Miller.

“In transit to Milwaukee I believe,” answers Meadows.

“Well, get them here to DC pronto! — Seen this Tweet?” says Trump, jamming a cell phone in Miller’s sweaty face.

The gaggle white men crowd around Trump’s cell phone that reads:

Lynch the #BunkerBaby!”

“The bastards are calling me BunkerBaby! Even after I crushed them in Lafayette Square!”

“Um, my mom taught me sticks and stones may break –”, says Robert Tulsa before he’s cut off.

“Shut the fuck up! Sergeant Cosco, escort these traitors my bunker!” shouts Trump pointing at the TV screen.

“Name’s Tulsa. Mr. President, and I am afraid Mr. Esper and Mr. Murray cannot leave as we are sealed in.”

“Look, COSCO. No one’s in the hallway!” shouts Trump pointing at the TV screen.

“But, sir, the 2 ton door operates slowly, by the time we see rioters we could be….”

“Break the seal!” demands Trump.

“– fucked.” finishes Sergeant Tulsa. “The door moves slowly. You could be killing us all.”

Trump defiantly pushes the open button and gloats, “Fuck off. You’re Black. Obviously, you’re in on this with them. You want something done right you gotta, um, something something or other.”

Miller takes charge, “Seargent, remove, Esper and Murray from my bunker or you’re up for a firing squad!”

“Pussy. I told ya. Look. It’s all clear.” gloats Trump. “You see. You’ve got nothing to fear but it something… We have nothing to fear but, ah.. Oh, fuck it!”

Gunfire erupts as mob of rioters race up the long hall for the bunker door.

“Seal the bunker! Seal the bunker!” shouts Trump.

BANG! Sergeant Tulsa falls to the marble floor, a bullet hole in the center of his forehead.

Kayliegh shouts to the mob, “Power to the people! I am not with the dictator, sexist, racist Trump anymore! I’m free! Yay!”

The laughing protestors get such a kick out of Trump’s sad reaction to Kayleigh’s betrayal they let her slip away.

An angry Black man races up to a screaming Trump and raises a bloody hatchet.

Trump begs on his knees, “Black lives matter!  Praise Jesus! Black lives matter! Spare me! I’ll sign any law you want!”

Trump curls into a ball and weeps like a baby sucking his thumbs, eyes slammed shut, waiting for a death blow.

The angry black man laughs saying, “Pathetic!” He plants the axe in Trump’s throat.  Exactly where the incision in the real world. Blood gushes and all goes black.  Faintly, the beep of a life monitor gets louder and Trump’s eyes flicker open.

Thrilled to be back in the real world where he is on life support, Trump cracks open his eyes to see his loyal personal Black attendant Robert reading the newspaper beside his hospital bed. Trump’s bloodshot feverish eyes close.

We see Robert’s Washington Post’s headline reads:

PRESIDENT CONTRACTS CORONA VIRUS. LIFE HANGS BY A THREAD!

To be continued in Chapter 7 – Weekend at Trumpies

Special thanks to my wife Elizabeth for playing Kayleigh and Ivanka.

As always my handy disclaimer that this is of course a work of pure fiction about an alternate universe. It is in no way a true reflection of the kind and compassionate real-life Donald Trump, and his charming GOP enablers, or for that matter, the supposed good guys in this dark comedic tale.

Phew. It takes months to make these audio recordings. Donate at the link below to keep my one of a kind quantum space time meditational auditory entertainment and enlightening content flowing.

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Trump’s Fever Dream – Chapter 1 – The Loneliest White House

Love Trumps Hate smaller
That’s my love Elizabeth and Fellow Voice Actor in the Coolest Meditation Ever Antarctica penguin hat.
Old time radio audio added 2021 to rewritten April 2020 chapter 1

To think I had put all my Trump fears, built up over decades of seeing his antics in the media aside to meditate in DC, along with my love Elizabeth, in 2017 for the best possible presidency… Yeesh!

Welp, it was a short honeymoon because Trump was already steamrolling over the Standing Rock tribe by green-lighting the Dakota Access Pipeline, even before Elizabeth and I headed back to Sedona.

And so, my Trump bias fully disclosed, I proudly present my parody… drum roll please…

Chapter One – THE LONELIEST WHITE HOUSE

Meanwhile, one timeline away…

A shabby shadow of his former self, President Trump aimlessly roams an abandoned hallway in the White House, now an empty ghost town. The leader of the free world, his bizarre mop of hair even more of a mess than usual, shuffles to an abrupt stop before an oil painting of JKF and vents loudly, “You had it easy, Jacko. The Cuban Missile Crisis was Jack shit compared to being a conservative running this liberal leaning country during a fucking pandemic!”

A Mexican cleaning woman wearing a surgeon’s mask leans her head out of a conference room and quickly ducks back inside again. She takes a small cross on a chain from her blouse, kisses it and prays, “Jesus, protect us from the Anti-Christ.”

After glaring at JFK’s glorious image for an inordinate amount of time, Trump flips off the Kennedy painting and slumps away, a rumpled embodiment of depression.

A short time later — by the light of FOX NEWS playing Sean Hannity, broadcasting from his elegant home — Trump wolfs down half a Big Mac in three bites. He glibly washes down the Mickey D with a long noisy straw dipped into an idiotically large plastic cup of Diet Coke.

Sean Hannity seems to speak directly to Trump from the big TV screen,”Hey Bud. Don’t listen to the commie loving liberals. You closed all travel from China the day you learned about the Chinese Virus, all way back in January. Your bold action was swift, decisive and all-American! If Pelosi and her corrupt Democrat Congress had not distracted you with their hoax impeachment we would never have lost so many precious Americans!”

“Hell yeah!” cheers Trump so loud it sends him into a coughing fit. Between coughs he desperately gasps for air. Trump finally regains control of his coughing. He wipes sweat from his brow with a monogrammed DJT hanky, smeared with orange tan makeup. “Shit. Gotta get tested again. Nah. Probably just a budding ulcer this bullshit’s giving me. Fuck this. I give ulcers, not get them! I’m fine. I’m fine. “

A short time later Trump brushes his teeth before the presidential bathroom mirror. Done, he grins smugly at his reflection, “Lookin’ good, Donnie.”

The Donald in the mirror dryly answers back, “Like hell, loser.”

Trump drops his electric toothbrush clattering to the marble floor and leans to the mirror. He makes strange faces at himself, mimicked perfectly by his reflection. “Seein’ things. Must be one those Covid hallucinations that fucker Fauci warned me about, or was it my fuck son-in-law Jared?”

“Jared’s a filet mignon meathead,” says Trump’s perturbed reflection.

“Who the hell’s doin’ this shit? Gotta be a TV monitor behind the mirror doin’ some kind of deep fake!” growls Trump at his smirking reflection.

“Never thought you had a conscience, eh asshole?” says mirror Trump.

“Screw you. The FBI will figure this out for me and nail your sneaky liberal ass!”

“Right. The FBI loves your fat ass. Don’t they?” laughs mirror Trump.

Nervous as an orange tabby facing down a German Shepard, Trump rushes to turn off the light switch.

Mirror Trump quips, “See you in your dreams, killer.”

Trump scurries out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He picks up a phone.  “Danny. — Shut up and listen. I wanna sweep done of my can. Someone’s hijacked my mirror.” Trump listens for a beat. “I don’t need a doctor. I need you to do what I fucking tell you!” Trump slams the phone down and angrily begins to tear his grungy outfit off.

Later, still shaken by his dark vision, Trump jams his chubby legs into his too tight red silk pajama bottoms.

A Black male servant, Robert Tulsa, sporting an elegant, if there can be such a thing, surgical mask, pokes his roguishly handsome head through the presidential bedroom door and says, “Will there be anything else, Mr. President?”

“Nope. Those two Big Macs and fries will tide me over nicely.” Trumps says, punctuating his sentence with a, “Burp.”

“Night then, Mr. President,” says Robert doing his best to hide a shudder of revulsion.

Trump’s fluffs his pillow without acknowledging the kindly servant. Robert leaves Trump to his own rantings, gently closing the big paneled door.

“Robert?!” shouts Trump, loud enough to be heard through the soundproof door.

Robert peers his head back inside the door inquisitively.

“Come in, Robert. I need some, uh, advice,” says Trump, with a pinch of boyish charm.

Robert apprehensively takes the gold-framed chair Trump offers by the crackling fireplace. He tilts his head to the side to avoid Trump’s mask-free breath. The gorgeous smell of the roaring fireplace fills Robert’s nostrils. His big brown eyes close in bliss for just a moment, and then he hides his feelings, straightening his butler jacket’s red vest.

Ever the salesman, Trump notices Robert’s blissful sniff and brags, “Tonight’s fire is genuine redwood from California’s National Redwood Forest. Gift from the lumber industry. Chopped me up 10 cords. Great guys those lumberjacks. They will sweep the forest floor.  Biggest forestry contract ever!”

“You never fail to amaze me, sir,” offers Robert politically.

“Robert, here’s what I wanted to fireside chat with you about: Today that smug fuck Jake Tapper said everyone on my White House personal staff hates me. This despite of the extra I pay I slip all of you huge bonuses under the table, 100% tax free I might add,” says Trump.

“Well, we don’t always sees things eye to eye, Mister President,” says Robert, breaking into a warm reassuring and absolutely genuine smile you can see only in his eyes above the mask. “But ya know I love the fact you say exactly what’s on your mind!”

Without returning Robert’s kindness, Trump says, “Robert, how’s it make you feel when someone calls you a nigger?”

“Why, uh, terrible. The worst sir.” says Robert, pain written on his angelic face.

“Well, that’s how I feel tonight, terrible in the nigger worst way,” says Trump dropping his head into his hands.

“About that N word, sir. I wish — “

“Pence wants me killed.” whispers Trump, cutting Robert’s complaint off. “Keep your voice down, Pence might have this bedroom bugged.”

“Mr. Boy Scout? What makes you think that, sir?” asks Robert respectfully.

“Mike’s pissed I made him the fall guy for the ventilator shortage and not Jared. But Jared’s is my son-in-law goddammit. Family comes first!” says Trump staring into the fireplace flames as if looking for answers.

“Amen to that. But relax, Vice Prez Pence wouldn’t hurt a fly. Let alone you, sir,” says Robert reassuringly.

“It’s the quiet ones you gotta worry about, Robert. Pence wants me out of the way. He wants me dead so he can pin all the blame on all the Americans stacking up bodies in mass fucking graves!” bellows Trump. “Robert, you’re the only guy I trust. Starting tomorrow I need you to make my McDonald’s runs personally.”

“Happy to but why, sir?”

“Poisoning. That’s how the sneaky boy scout is gonna bump me off. Or try to. Will you do this for me, Robert. Can I count on you, broheim? Did I say that right?  Am I hip?”

“The hippest, sir. Now, if you don’t mind –” Robert notices a trickle of sweat leaving a traces of white skin at Trump temple. “May I, sir?”

“May you what?”

“Take your temperature,” says Robert pulling out a thermometer from his jacket.

“I’m fine. Just stress. No fever,’ says Trump unconvincingly.

“Well, I am gonna get the White House doctor on the phone just in case,” says Robert picking  up the red phone. “Odd. Phone’s dead. Lemme get you into bed and I –“

” I AM FUCKING FINE!” roars Trump in defiance, going into a coughing fit.

“Hang on, Mr. President! I’ll be right back!” Robert races out of the bedroom.

“Why is no one fucking listening to me?! I am fit as a fucking — “Trump falls like a tower of fast food to the plush carpet. The room dissolves into the form of a giant butterfly, floating amidst a galaxy of stars.

Trump hollers in fear, awakening astride said giant butterfly that says, “Welcome aboard, Sir. There’s something important I, like, totally want you to see.” 

Trump hollers again, shocked to be buck naked,”Mommy!”

The Butterfly banks over a mass grave on Hart Island. Workers in hazmat suits shovel dirt onto cheap wooden coffins. “Sir, millions will die unless you lead by example. Wear a mask,” says the cosmic butterfly.

“Masks are for pussies. And you’re nothing but a God damn nightmare bug!” shouts Trump.

“I am the butterfly of truth. No wonder you hate me.” the butterfly says as it flies over the mass graves.

“Shit happens. Take me back to the White House!”

“Stop lying. Start masking. Now, loser!” the butterfly calmly says and it dive bombs for Washington DC. It banks upside down and dumps the naked Trump on the White House lawn. Trump tumbles to screaming halt in the thorny bushes of the Rose Garden.

A flashlight sets the spectacle that is naked Donald Trump aglow. Dressed in a bright yellow hospital gown, Robert, now sporting a goatee, tosses aside a cigarette and shouts, “Who goes there?”

“The President!” shouts Trump, hiding in the rose bushes.

“No dice. President Schwarzenegger has an accent?” says Robert with a puzzled squint as pulls on his surgical mask.

“President who?!” shouts Trump.

“Wait, what the, that you Donald?”

“Donald?!  Shut it and get me some clothes, Robert,” says the shivering Trump.

“But you’ve been missing 2 years now, um, Mister former President Trump!” says Robert in shock. “Where you been?”

Trump’s orange face goes as white as his ample ass.

END CHAPTER ONE

As always my handy disclaimer that this story is of course a work of pure fiction about an alternate universe. It is in no way a true reflection of the kind and compassionate real-life Donald J Trump, and his charming GOP enablers or for that matter the supposed good guys in this dark comedic tale.

Make a donation to help me keep bringing you more chapters and more old style radio show audio. Thanks.

Donate for the Coolest in stories and meditation.

Click TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM in the menu bar top of the page to read all the chapters.

Coming attractions. Twelve tormentingly funny chapters here. 8 with audio.

Trump’s Fever Dream – Chapter 12 – Smoke & Mirrors

Old Style Radio Show Audio (That’s Voice Acting, Sound Effects & Musical Scoring for your added enjoyment)

How you holding up on this Trump fever dream in this reality? Here in the real world, at least to us, it’s Memorial Day weekend and the GOP has fallen so low that its main spokespeople are the disgraced Congressman Matt Gaetz and Q-Anon Barbie, as MSNBC’s Joy Reid correctly dubbed her. The GOP has voted against a January 6th commission even after fallen Capitol police office Brian Sicknick’s bereaved mother pleaded with the few Republicans who would even hear her cry for justice.

Democrat traitors Joe Manchin and Kirsten Sinema have dashed hopes to end the.. I could go on ad nausem. Suffice to say, we are sadly not far off on my fictional story here. A story I began in April 2020 that, among other strange parallels, correctly predicted that Trump would catch the Covid virus. This dark tale has taken over my peaceful mediation blog like Trump’s dark energy has taken over so much of America. But I go on in the hopes this can act as cautionary tale of what could happen if Trump regains the reins of power.

We now join the alternate Trump universe…

Chapter 12 – Smoke & Mirrors

Meanwhile one timeline away… when we last visited the alternate Trump universe,Trump’s harebrained insurrection succeeded in a wonky as hell overthrow of the rightful US government.

A gruesome house to house battle, dubbed The Blue Civil War, erupted to put the rightful President, Joe Biden, into the Oval office. And has so far cost 404,626 American lives, on top of the 3 million death count in the Covid that’s gone of control in the civil war.

Smoke billows on the White House lawn. Robert tosses Trump aboard Marine One and turns to give an insulate bow to the pissed off swat team.

“Fuck!” shouts the swat team leader who watches helplessly along with dozens of white soldiers as the chopper lifts off into the DC night sky… and EXPLODES!

Sirens blare as the fiery twisted wreckage Marine One crashes into the Washington Monument.

Meanwhile, 200 feet below the surface of Lake Michigan, amidst the floating bodies of the dead strategic bomber crew, a 24 hour countdown clocks lights up on the North Korean nuke.

Stars wheel over Lake Michigan. Sunrise shifts red to orange, making Trump more orange than usual. Water dowses Trump. He snaps to consciousness gasping for air and squints open his bloodshot eyes.

Robert tightens the ropes that bind the disheveled Trump to a tattered baby blue vinyl stacking chair. Robert stands before the dirt streaked picture window of the South Shore Yacht Club. He says, “Morning, Mr. Fake President.”

“Fuck you, Black Judas. This sure as hell ain’t heaven. So where the fuck am I?” says Trump, trying to sound tough while almost pissing his pants at the sight of three dozen heavily armed African American troopers surrounding him in the center of the fire damaged yacht club.

“About 30 miles east of the North Korean nuke, on the coast of the state you lost by 20,600 votes.”

“Wisconsin?”

“Agh!” says Robert imitating a game show buzzer. “Congratulations, SIR. You just admitted you lost Wisconsin on YouTube live to 80 million viewers!”

Everyone laughs, except the scowling Trump. One of soldiers waves his cell phone Camera at Trump, flashing the V for victory hand signal to the audience for an on camera moment.

“Last thing I remember was you tossing me into Marine One. And then — How’d you get me here?” demands Trump.

“Smoke and mirrors. Or, said another way none of your God Damn business, you ugly racist fucker,” growls Robert.

Playing good cop, Michelle Obama calmly takes a stacking chair. She faces the wet and rattled Trump to the excited mutterings of the troops. Michelle serenely says, “Donald, shame on you for calling tactical nuke strike on Kenosha.”

“You mean Geroge Floydland. That’s what you jungle bunnies renamed Kenosha,” says Trump, getting his racist freak on. “And I would never call a nuclear strike against the American people. That’s bullshit!”

“Play the video,” says Michelle, unable to hide the disgust in her face.

Video plays on on large screen television of Trump in the Oval office.

“My fellow, Trumptopians, in this vicious sneak attack, Blue forces led by the evil Barack Obama, murdered my… my brave boy Don Jr. in cold blood. This is personal now! Therefore, Obama the puppet master, and his puppet Biden, have left me no choice but to order, herewith, a tactical nuclear strike on George Floydland, formerly known as Kenosha Wisconsin,” says Trump on TV before his image freezes

“Ha! The problem with you communist ANTIFAs is you can’t tell a good deep fake video from the real thing. I’d never call in a nuclear strike on American soil, even in a traitorous Blue state,” says Trump.

The Black soldiers all boo. “Play nice, Donald. A lot of Barrack’s troops want to hang you from that yard arm right there, ” says Michelle pointing to a docked sail boat.

After the troops yelling calms Trump says. with a shit eating grin, “I’ll be 75 next month. Led an amazing life. The best life. You wanna make me a martyr for the Right? Go ahead.”

“Huh. Don’t you need a soul to be a martyr, Donald?” wisecracks Robert. The troops chuckle.

“Let’s cut to the chase. Our intelligence, from one of your loyal leakers, says you have the codes to disarm Kim’s nuke set to go off… ” Michelle checks her watch,”… in about 10 hours.”

“Suck my dick, you black bitch,” says Trump defiantly. One of the soldiers lunges for Trump and Robert shoves him back in line.

“I don’t do mushrooms. Give me the abort code right now and you walk.” says Michelle calmly to the laughs of the Robert and the troops.

“I’d rather die in the nuclear tsunami and take all of you fuckers with me,” bluffs Trump.

“So you acknowledge there is a bomb. That’s a start,” smiles Michelle victoriously to the applause of the troops.

Trump scowls as says, ever the fast one on his feet conman, “Of course. But I didn’t put the nuke there!”

“Well, if you didn’t put the nuke down there who did, Donald?” says Michelle calmly.

Robert pipes up, “Save it, Madame Former First Lady. I already know what this orange motherfucker’s gonna say anyway.”

“Oh?” say Trump and Michelle in embarrassed unison.

“Madame –” says Robert.

“Michelle.” says Michelle.

“Michelle, this lying sack shit’s gonna say Barrack put the ticking nuke at the bottom of Lake Michigan,” says Robert.

“Black Bingo!” laughs Trump

“And why exactly would my love want to send a 200 foot tall radioactive tsunami to hit Milwaukee? Our strongest base in the Midwest?”

‘Because the death of 1 million Milwaukeeans from would turn public sentiment against me!” gloats Trump.

“Donald, Donald, Donald. I think we learned years ago, under your illicit Russian-backed presidency, that there’s pretty much nothing you can do, including mass murder — like you did with your malicious and incompetent as hell handling of Covid, killing three million Americans and counting — that will ever turn your cult against you,” says Michelle to the sad mutterings of the Obama troops.

“I love all Americans. Even those in the deluded Blue states, says Trump turning on the charm to the boos of the troops. “Why I’ve done more for Black people than any president in history. Maybe ever including Lincoln!”

Robert backhands Trump mid-sentence, “Save it, Trump,” barks Robert. “We want the nuke abort code from your pen pal KIm Jung Fucking Un and we want it now!”

“You already have the codes because your Black despot dropped the nuke.” says Trump cockily.

A young female Black soldier takes aim at Trump’s head, “I can’t take his bullshit! Gotta waste this fat fuck!”

Robert stands between the soldier on Donald and says, “Put down the gun, kid.”

“Move aside, Colonel! Or I I swear to God I’ll shoot you to kill Cheetoh Jesus!”

“Colonel?” laughs Trump.

Robert ignores Trump and walks up the the soldier’s rifle muzzle. Robert lays his hand on AR-15 and pushes it down to point at the filthy blue carpet.

“Dummies. I’ll be rescued long before that nuke you planted ever goes off,” gushes Trump.

“You won’t be here that long, you dumb as fuck motherfucker,” says Robert pistol whips Trump, knocking him out cold.

A big sail boat glides from the Milwaukee shoreline, quickly vanishing in the distance, Trump squirms as a hangman’s noose is placed around his fat neck by Robert. “Give us the abort code and save your fat ass, Donnie,” whispers Robert.

“Ha! You’re bluffing! I know you, Robert! You’re bluffing!” shouts Trump.

“This is not one of our poker games I let you cheat at, Donald” says Robert.

“Ingrate. After all I did for you.”

“Ha. You never did a damn thing for me that wasn’t meant to help yourself, you pathetic loser. I am gonna enjoy watching the life choke out of you the way you let the life choke out of so many, including my grandma, Dr. Covid.”

“The codes and we sail you to a safe harbor, Mr. Former President,”says Michelle calm and cool as ever.

“Ha. You think you’re safe from my my fly boys out here, woman? Any second a Black Hawk’s going to come over the horizon and save me from you fools,” says Trump.

“Wong answer, Bozo. Ma’am let’s get this over with.” says Robert hitting Trump to the applause of the troops.

“Any last words, you orange devil?” says Michelle sadly.

“I won. Then election was a total fraud, like you, you Black cunt,”Trump growls.

Michelle shakes her head sadly and walks below deck.

“That’s it?! That all you got, you worthless Nigger?!” bellows Trump.

Robert kicks Trump off the sailboat. Trump swings from the yard arm choking before the cheering Troops. He chokes the words, “Just my fever dream. I’ll be ok…”

Trump passes out.

TO BE CONTINUED IN TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM – CHAPTER 13

As always my handy disclaimer that this story is of course a work of pure fiction about an alternate universe. It is in no way a true reflection of the kind and compassionate real-life Donald J Trump, and his charming GOP enablers or for that matter the supposed good guys in this dark comedic tale.

A big thanks to my wife Elizabeth England who played the Cosmic butterfly in earlier episoded and who takes on the important of Michelle Obama, for a fellow white person. Sorry we’re just doing scratch audio here. I will at some point, hopefully, get some great Black actors to replace us.

Make a donation to help me keep bring you more chapters and add audio. Thanks.

Donate for the Coolest in stories and meditation.

Click the TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM in the menu bar above to read all the chapters.

Overview: Trump’s Fever Dream

This is the chilling story of an alternate Trump reality where, after catching the Covid-19 virus, Trump enters a fever dream that includes us all on an alternate timeline. A work in progress.

Normally, I’d not share a story with fans while it’s still in development. But then again — the past 14 months of Covid and the insanity we are witnessing from the GOP going all-in on reinstalling Trump as ostensibly our new King, four months post insurrection — has caused me to feel extremely mortal.

My work is a long way from being a movie, or even coherent at this point. But what fever dream is? Just for kicks, here’s a very preliminary trailer, made from a stock Apple template, to give you an early as fuck sneak peak at my vision of Trumpian reality, even more terrifying and darkly comedic than our own, occurring Meanwhile, one timeline away…

As bleak as things look in May of 2021, when I am writing this overview, where the Big Lie continues to fester like a wound that just won’t heal, it’s my fondest belief that one day we’ll all look back on this chapter of our collective misery and share some laughs, along with tears of relief, that we awoke to a better tomorrow.

I first began writing this, as I like to call it, Ultimate Cautionary Tale, as therapy before we knew Trump would lose the presidency. Today, I write to demonstrate why we must never let Trump back in power and why the GOP must be voted out of office all the way down to city dog catcher.

Before you get started, my handy disclaimer that TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM, where Trump’s harebrained insurrection succeeds, is of course a work of pure fiction about an alternate universe. It is in no way a true reflection of the kind and compassionate real-life Donald J Trump, and his charming GOP enablers or, for that matter, the supposed good guys in this dark comedic tale.

Use the TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM pull down menu top to the page to read all 11 chapters and counting. Subscribe to get updated audios I am adding to all chapters, when I can steal the time. Subscribing will also get you new chapters in the works. Chapter 12 coming soon as I can find the time.

Audio score done with Storyblock.com loops I’ve licensed for my worldwide use. Apologies in advance for the scratch track voice acting.

Love your feedback. None of this is set in stone at this stage. Please vote blue until the GOP either ousts Trump and returns to sanity or disappears all together. Enjoy.

Trump’s Fever Dream – Chapter 11 – To Nuke or Not to Nuke Kenosha That is the Question

Spoiler Alert! WordPress puts up the blogs on the home page in the order I write them. So if you want to start your read from the Chapter One – The Loneliest White House click the link!

Meanwhile, when we last visited the alternate Trump universe, one timeline away… Trump’s harebrained insurrection succeeded in a wonky as hell overthrow of the rightful US government.

A gruesome house to house battle, dubbed The Blue Civil War, erupted to put the rightful President, Joe Biden, into the Oval office. And has so far cost 396,423 American lives.

Furious his son Don Jr. perished in the opening minutes of the Battle for George Floydland (formerly known as Kenosha), Trump has done the unthinkable — even for him — and ordered a strategic bomber to drop a North Korean tactical nuke, gifted by Kim Jung-un, on the Blue state of Wisconsin.

We now join…

TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM – Chapter 11 – TO NUKE OR NOT TO NUKE KENOSHA THAT IS THE QUESTION

A strategic bomber glides the starry skies over Lake Michigan beneath the full moon. In the bomber cockpit a heated argument rages between the pilot and co-Pilot.

“Orders are orders!” shouts the pilot.

“Not when the fucking order is to nuke a city on American soil for a delusional illegitimate president!” bellows the co-pilot.

Pilot and co-pilot reach for their pistols. BANG! Both shot through the forehead, the dead pilots slump over the bomber’s blood splattered controls. The bomber nose dives into Lake Michigan and sinks for the murky depths.

The desperate bomber crew wrestle to open escape hatches as the cabin rapidly fills with water.

Water flows from an ornate sink tap. Trump brushes his teeth, drowsily gazing at himself in the Presidential bathroom mirror. Trump almost jumps out of his orange skin when his reflection stops brushing and says, “Stop your compulsive brushing and listen up.”

“Not listening! La-la-la! Can’t hear you!” says Trump as angrily brushes his teeth, bleeding gums and all.

Trump’s body man Robert calls out from the bedroom where he is turning down the bed for Trump, “Everything OK, sir?”

“Peachy,” grouses Trump sticking his tongue out at his pissed off reflection and resumes brushing.

“Everything is definitely not ‘peachy’. You fucking ordered a nuclear strike on American soil!” says Trump’s reflection.

“Relax. The bomber sunk off the coast of Milwaukee. Zero casualties.”

“What about the bomber crew?” says the Trump reflection. As he waves his arms the bathroom in the reflection becomes an opulent Mar A Lago bathroom. “Here in my reality, where I bravely called off the insurrection to regroup and keep donations rolling, you’re making me glad about my peaceful strategy. You’re a moron!”

“Who you calling a moron, Moron? Your aborted insurrection was a way, way bigger dud than my sunken bomber.”

Robert finally pokes his smiling Black face into the bathroom, “Damed Adderall’s making you talk to yourself again, sir. Gotta listen –“

Trump yanks Robert into the bathroom and shouts as points to the mirror, “Look! Look with your big Black eyes! See him! There! There’s the pathetic loser Trump from another universe who got his fat ass thrown out of the White House!”

Trump’s reflection laughs spitefully, but all Robert sees or hears in the mirror is himself and the manic Trump beside him. Robert hoarsely whispers, “God blessed the USA tonight when that bomber crashed into Lake Michigan.”

Ignoring Robert, Trump spins hearing Blue State President Biden’s voice coming from the bedroom TV flat screen and he shoves his way past his befuddled body man.

“My fellow Americans, the illegitimate ruler of the Red States, dubbed Trumptopia by the mad king himself, Donald J. Trump launched a nuclear strike on George Floydland, formerly known as Kenosha Wisconsin, tonight. Fortunately, through divine providence, the stealth bomber carrying the nuke crashed 15 miles off the coast of Milwaukee before delivering its North Korean supplied dirty bomb,” says the fuming Biden.

“Dirty bomb? How dare he!” says Trump to the emotionless Robert. “Kim’s beauty was a Neutron bomb that only kills people. All the real estate would have been left intact.”

Robert mutes Biden and slowly twists to Trump,saying loudly, “‘Only ‘kills people’? You mean like my brother and my whole family who live in Kenosha?”

“George Floydland. Uh, Kenosha is now called Geroge Floydland. Why’d you people name it like that, Robert?” says Trump patiently waiting for an answer.

“No idea and I frankly I don’t give a fuck, sir. Lemme ask you a question. You mind, sir?” says Robert.

“Seems like no matter what I say you’re gonna. Knock yourself out,” says Trump tugging on a fluffy red robe.

“Did you actually believe that shit in your speech tonight, about that nuke, might be able to end the civil war quicker? Or was that something you just made up, just doing your thing?”

“Thing?” puzzles Trump.

“The thing you love to do. You know, lying about shit so hard you can smell it,” says Robert quivering with rage.

“Don’t get smart with me. That is unless you want to be the first nigger lynched on the White House lawn.”

Robert pulls Trump’s gold plated .45 from from under Trump’s heavily embroidered pillow, “Fuck this! I am so done actin’ the house nigger with you, you faded frat boy!”

“A joke. I was joking, Robert!”

“A joke about lynchin’. Ha fucking ha. Now get on the fucking floor and get your tiny hands behind your thick skull,” says Robert, ignoring the pounding at the door and shouting of Trumptopia Troopers.

“Whoa, Robert. I know things have been a little tough on your people in the Blue States, but that’s no call to go all Samuel Jackson on me with the potty mouth routine,” says Trump using all his charm as he awkwardly lays face down on the floor.

“Huh. “Little tough’ on my people, motherfucker? 93 fucking percent of the casualties of the Blue — ain’t nothin’ civil about this motherfucking Civil War — are fucking Black. What a Goddamn shit show on both sides. I mean fuck Joe Biden up the ass too for his “Who’s the best Whitey War” while 3 times more of my people are still dying of the goddamn Covid than you white devils!”

“I don’t know where to go with that. I can barely understand you talking all jivey and shit all of sudden. Where’s my sweet Black pal?”

“Pal? A pal does not change your damn diaper. A pal does not have his brother’s family living in Kenosha threatened with a –” says Robert, annoyed to be cut off by Trump.

“George Floydland. Uh, Kenosha is now called George Floydland. Why’d you people rename it like that, Robert?” says Trump patiently waiting for an answer.

“You are so fucking losing it, Donnie boy. Asked me that dumb ass question two minutes ago,” says Robert tying Trump’s hands with the cords off the curtains.

“Careful with the curtains, they’re a gift from Putin. Come on. Tell me why Kenosha changed it’s name to George Floydland.”

“How the fuck should I know why the people of Kenosha, site of the first Red states attack in the USA that killed almost every Black person in mother fucking Kenosha, except my brother Freddie and his eight kids, all nephews, while Biden was busy in France –”

Trump tries to turn over and Robert pistol whips him, “Stay rock-still motherfucker! Now where was I?”

Breathing laboriously, Trump manages to say, “Outta your mind. My men will break down that door and shoot you, unless I make this… O-O-O-OK.”

Robert grins that Trump is having trouble breathing on the hardwood floor. “Perhaps, Mr. White Racist President, as you ain’t breathin’ so good layin’ on your big old belly, like George Floyd did — minus two cops layin’ on his back and one mother fuckin’ Chauvin perched on his neck — might help you to understand how it felt when your Nazi shock troops unleashed nerve gas on my Kenosha people and took their damn breath away.”

“That was General Bannon! Donald Trump had nothing to do with the gassing of innocent Blacks in Kenosha.”

“Don’t ya mean, George Floydland, Mr. Real President?” says Robert putting his knee to Trump’s neck.

“Sorry! Sorry, Robert! Don’t do this!” gasps Trump.

“Do what?” chuckles Robert.

Trump barely gets the words out, “Choke… me… out… like… Floyd.”

The sound of an axe hacking away at the secure door makes it hard to hear either man, so Robert raises his voice, “I ain’t choking you out, bro! Just helping you understand that maybe your Trumptopia Red troops asphyxiating 3,210 Black people in Kenosha coulda, you know, inspired the city council of mostly White crackers to rename Kenosha George Floydland.”

“Why would the hell would they do that?’ says Trump, his face starting to turn blue from Robert’s knee on his neck.

“Fuck you, Trump. Ya’all’s stallin’ ‘while your white boys knock that door in, ain’t ya? Get up, fatso!” shouts Robert yanking Trump to his feet just as the reinforced door bursts open. An elite swat team of three beefy rednecks bursts through the shattered door into Trump’s White House bedroom.

The blonde haired blue eyed Swat Team leader tries to take aim on Robert, but Trump is squarely in the way, so he shouts, “Release Real President Trump! Do it now. Do it now, nigger!”

“Chill the fuck out, Fritz Von Swat Leader. Drop all your God damn weapons or this old as fuck frat boy here gets it.”

The swat team look at each other in confusion.

“NOW, YOU PALE-ASSED MOTHERFUCKERS!” barks Robert, jamming the gold plated .45 into Trump’s mop of orange hair.

“Do what he says! Do what he says!” barks Trump. The Swat team all reluctantly drop their weapons.

Robert cracks a victorious smile and calmly says, “Nice work, boys. Now pay real good attention to what ya’all gotta do next.”

Half an hour later Robert, Trump in tow, exits the White House onto the smoke choked front lawn. They cross the White House lawn for the waiting Marine One chopper. Robert tosses Trump aboard and gives a bow to the pissed off swat team.

“Fuck!” shouts the swat team leader who watches helplessly along with dozens of soldiers as the chopper lifts off into the DC night sky… and EXPLODES

Sirens blare as the fiery twisted wreckage Marine One crashes into the Washington Monument.

Meanwhile 200 feet below the surface of Lake Michigan, amidst the floating bodies of the dead strategic bomber crew, a 24 hour countdown clocks lights up on the North Korean nuke.

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 12 OF TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM

As always my handy disclaimer that this story is of course a work of pure fiction about an alternate universe. It is in no way a true reflection of the kind and compassionate real-life Donald J Trump, and his charming GOP enablers or for that matter the supposed good guys in this dark comedic tale.

Make a donation to help me keep bring you more chapters. Thanks.

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Click the TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM in the menu bar above to read all the chapters.

Trump’s Fever Dream – Chapter 10 – A Bitter Cheese

12:55 minute reading by Ken Sheetz that asks: What if the 1/6/21 insurrection had succeeded?*

Meanwhile, when we last visited the alternate Trump universe, one timeline away… Trump’s harebrained insurrection succeeded in a wonky as hell overthrow of the rightful US government. This sadly happened through the sheer blind luck of Pelosi and Pence both taking wrong turns on the run on January 6th, ending in both being taken hostage by the rag tag white supremacist led insurrectionists.

A gruesome house to house battle, dubbed The Blue Civil War, erupted to put the rightful President Biden into the Oval office, has so far cost 256,234 American lives.

Looking to raise quick cash for a boost in the polls to bless his proposed launch tactical nukes on Blue states, Trump enlists the help of a Marjorie Taylor Greene for crowd funder to raise $5 billion to knock out her mythical Jewish space laser. We now join…

TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM – CHAPTER 10 – A BITTER CHEESE

Trump shows General Marjorie Greene Taylor, the new Speaker of the House, to the paneled door of the oval office saying, “Much as I love you, Margie, I don’t want to see your face again until you have the $5 billion!” Before Taylor can complain, Trump slams the door in her face.

Nestled in the blue yellow sofa, My Pillow Guy, Mike Lindell, the newly minted Secretary of Defense and Pillow Production Czar, reports to Trump on progress in Blue Civil War. He speaks fast, like he’s ripping off a band-aid, “Sadly, we’ve lost Illinois to the Sleepy Joe forces, sir.”

“What about Wisconsin?” demands Trump.

“The Battle of George Floydland was — ”

“George Floydland?!” shouts Trump.

“F.K.A. Kenosha Wisconsin, sir,” nervously answers Secretary Lindell. “Confusing, I know, because Minnesota is where Floyd was –“

“Do I look confused?” says Trump getting up in Lindell’s dumb as dirt puss.

“Of course not, sir!”

“I know where that counterfeit passing snake Floyd was choked out! Spades wanna name part of Wisconsin after a dead loser Minnesotan that’s their fucking funeral. Bigger question: How did that useless cheese head Johnson blow the 2-1 military advantage I gave him?” says Trump firmly pushing the button on his resolute desk to call for a Diet Coke.

“You’re in luck , sir! My film team from ABSOLUTE PROOF has whipped up a new doc about it and it’s already up on Trump TV!” says Lindell, doing a little victory dance.

Robert, Trump’s Black body servant, enters at a run, delivers Trump’s Diet Coke. Robert avoids making any eye contact with the hand waving Lindell.

“You put a fucking documentary about my brave Trumptopia troops losing to Obama on my TV station without my OK?” barks Trump.

Robert stumbles as he quickly exits to avoid Trump tantrum fallout.

Lindell fumbles with the big screen remote. He nervously says, “Sir, ahem, CNN and MSNBC have their version of the story coming out on the Battle of George Floydland premiering tonight. I had to move fast so that you’re the first one to tell the story. You know to slant it your way, of course. Ha ha. Knew you’d OK that since you are the genius chosen one after all!”

“Secretary Lindell… I saw on Fox News that you were broke and homeless. So how’d you afford making a movie with a 24 hour time –”

“Look, Donnie boy, I know you still watch Fox, because you’re personally keeping an eye on the enemy. But that junk will rot your –“

“Fair warning, I don’t like this rushed as fuck doc you’re with Pelosi, executed on Trump TV LIVE tomorrow at dawn!” barks Trump, cleaning a speck of lint off his banana Republic uniform.

Wiping sweat from his brow Lindell hits play and he says, “Narrated it myself.”

“Shut the fuck up and let me watch!” grouses Trump, already annoyed by the opening title.

A Bitter Cheese – Defeat in George Floydland (F.K.A. Kenosha, Wisconsin)

Documentary style footage plays as Lindell ham-narrates:

House to house combat raged for weeks in America’s dairy state. Troops led by former president Barrack Obama are on the march south from the Biden won city of Milwaukee.

Trumptopia’s Supreme Commander, aside from President Trump, Don Jr., confers beneath the fire scorched Kenosha Brat Stop sign with General/Senator Johnson, who for some dumb reason demands both titles as General Senator — Seriously, if this titty bar loving cheese dick slept better he’d have had a much clearer head for the battle he was about to lose for our heroic leader Donald the Chosen One Trump, all powerful President of Trumptopia FKA the USA.

For a dreamy night’s sleep visit MyPillowGuy.com!

“Fuck’s sake! Is this an My Pillow infomercial or God damn news story?” comments Trump imperiously.

Lindell hits pause. “Sir, we’ll edit my little pillow plug out ASAP. Let’s go on, sir. There’s some things in here you’re going to want to see firsthand,” Lindell quickly hits play again.

Lindell’s narration continues: And so, because many in the US Armed Forces are sitting out the Blue Civil War out, the hand to hand civilian combat showdown of the 21st century was at hand.

Lindell hits “pause” on the remote and says proudly, “Like the poetic thing I did with the hands? Classy huh?”

Trump just glares at the My Pillow putz who quickly hits the “play” button in response.

First to fall were the obese of both the red and blue civilian troops, causing some smart asses on the rogue app Twitter to dub this The Battle of the Second Battle of the Bulge. Although the bloodiest civil war since the Civil War of Lincoln’s Day, it has proven to be a chance to lower our obesity health index for the first time in 50 years.

The game was afoot. The sneaky Black former failed President versus our heroic great white Hope’s son of our stable genius president Donald John Trump, Don Jr., was accompanied by his operatic battle crier Colonel Guilfoyle .

Both of them clad in golden armor, astride the white stallions recalled the great days of Roman rule. All looks promising as General Senator Ron Johnson joins the Trumptopian troops in his cheddar cheese colored armored tank to draw final battle plans.

“General Johnson.” says Don Jr imperiously while Johnson lifts open the hatch on his tank.

“With all due respect that’s General/Senator Ron Johnson, Junior!”

“Oh, get off it, Ron. We’re about to go into battle. Let’s keep it short shall we?” grouses Guilfoyle.

“I outrank you and outgun you, little missy,” says Johnson laughing as his tank turret playfully takes aim at her and Don Jr.

Don Jr. fast draws his pearl handled pistol and blows the smile from Johnson’s face along with his head.

The cameraman shouts off-screen, “Holy fuck!”

Don Jr. smiles for the camera, “Command is all about respect. And –“

“Donnie! Come on you wuss! We gotta battle to win!” shouts Guilfoye.

“Later, fans. After Kimberly and I kick some Kenyan BLM ass! Yee ha!” shouts Don Jr. as he rears up his stallion and follows Guilfoyle. The two look amazing charging into battle until…

BOOM! The duo vanish in a massive explosion.

“Stop! Don Jr. is dead?” shouts Trump.

Lindell hits pause and says consolingly, “Along with Colnel Guilfoyle and most of our brave Wisconsin Trumptopia troops. Sorry for your loss, sir”

“My son was a damn fool not using Johnson cheesy tank. But, hey, I’ll put on a show of grief. Should inspire some donors,” says Trump.

Lindell looks for any sign of grief from the stone faced Trump and then says, “Brilliant as always, sir! Now, if you don’t mind, I’m on Fox in five minutes to discuss the film.”

“No. I’ll take the Fox interview myself.”

“It’s really no trouble, sir,” offers Lindell, clutching one of his crappy pillows for security.

“I said I will take the interview. No one’s lost more in this battle than me. My firstborn.” says Trump with a fake sniffle.

“But may I start the Fox interview and turn it over to you? Makes you more sympathetic.” says Lindell hopefully,

“Hmm. We can do that. But make it quick.”

“Great. Follow me. I’ve got the Fox setup in my office.” says Lindell, pointing the way with a gracious bow.

“No. This interview will be done from here in the oval,” demands Trump

“But it’s all set up in my office and there’s not time to — Of course. Of course.” Lindell barks into his phone. “Get the Fox crew over to the oval.”

A short time later Trump listens as Secretary Lindell makes the intro to the Fox cameras.

“Our Donald may have lost a son… but he still has all of you fine citizens of Trumptopia as his children. My fellow My Pillow fans, I give you the chosen one, our true President, Donald John Trump,” says Lindell with sweep of his hand that messes up Trump’s hair. Everyone holds their breath for Trump’s furious reaction. But Trump does not notice his hair is askew, revealing a bald pate as he speaks to the camera:

My fellow, Trumptopians, in a vicious sneak attack, Blue forces led by the evil Barack Obama, murdered my… my brave boy Don Jr. in cold blood. This is personal now! Therefore, Obama the puppet master and his puppet Biden have left me no choice but to order, herewith, a tactical nuclear strike on George Floydland, FKA Kenosha Wisconsin.

I know it seems horrible as such an attack will kill red and blue soldiers and civilians alike. But the Pentagon estimates this ultimate shock and awe attack will end the Blue Civil War years ahead of conventional hand to hand fighting. Thus saving millions of American lives at the sacrifice of approximately half a million Wisconsinites.

Fear not! To reduce civilian casualties I am hereby grant the next 30 minutes to depart the George Floydland’s blast zone.

Please take your most precious possessions as Kenosha will be radioactive and uninhabitable for the next 35 years. Good news that’s half the normal length of radioactivity contamination thanks to our brilliant tactical nukes granted to us by our beloved friend and ally Kim Jung Un. Good night and God Bless Trumptopia.

Fox News cuts to pandemonium on the streets as forces of the left and right fight their way out of Kenosha. It’s a blood bath.

The camera lights go off and Trump smiles proudly at the stunned camera crew and a speechless Secretary Lindell.

“How was I?” asks Trump calmly.

Fox cameraman wearing a Trumptopia T-Shirt gushes, “Trumptopia’s behind you, sir!”

“I’m really trying to keep casualties low yet send a message of compassion. Fucking tightrope act,” says Trump loosening his red tie. Not to mention the chance to catch Obama sleeping with a nuke.”

“3 D chess once again, sir!” says the Fox cameraman.

“What’s your name, kid? You have a future on Trump TV.” says Trump shaking the cameraman’s hand in the dominant style Trump is famed for.

“But I have a major My Pillow distribution center in Kenosha,” the shocked Lindell finally says.

Trump checks his watch and says, “Um, not 28 minutes.”

A strategic bomber glides the starry skies over Lake Michigan beneath the full moon. In the bomber cockpit a heated argument rages between the pilot and co-Pilot.

“Orders are orders!” shouts the pilot.

“Not when the fucking order is to nuke a city on American soil for a delusional illegitimate president!” bellows the co-pilot.

Pilot and co-pilot both reach for their pistols. BANG!

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 11 – TO NUKE OR NOT TO NUKE KENOSHA THAT IS THE QUESTION

*As always my little disclaimer that this is of course a work of pure fiction about an alternate universe. It is in no way a true reflection the kind and compassionate Donald J Trump, and his cohorts or for that matter the good guys in this dark comedic telling, the Biden bunch. But I hope it makes you feel a little better about the weird as hell times we are still lost in.

Donate for the Coolest in stories and meditation.

Trump’s Fever Dream – Chapter 9 – The Greene Jewish Space Laser New Deal

When we last left our alternate timeline Donald J. Trump and his alternate enablers in Chapter 8, Trumptopia’s orange presidential bad boy was busy selling his BIG LIE that he was cheated out of his rightful second term.

In this dark alternate reality, a series of cautionary political tales I plan to gather into a book, working title Trump’s Fever Dream, the Trump fostered insurrection on the capitol succeeded in overthrowing the rightful government.

There’s just one problem in Trump’s rebranding of the USA he’s dubbed Trumptopia: A Civil War from the left looms. One for which Trump has been unable to access the treasury to prepare for battle.

CHAPTER 9 – THE GREENE JEWISH SPACE LASER NEW DEAL

Trump nervously paces the oval office, wolfing into a Big Mac.

Bannon, Jared and Ivanka wait patiently on the couches as Trump washes the burger down with a noisy gulp of diet Coke. Bannon opens his mouth to speak but Trump holds up his hand and belches. Bannon waits for an “excuse me” that never comes and pushes on, “Mr. President — “

“Mr. President. Wow, love still hearing that. What you were about to say, Steve?” says Trump absentmindedly.

“Um, Mr. President, our brave patriot Trumptopia troops have lost control of three state capitols this week; Maine, Georgia and Arizona. All to bastards loyal the Former United States. As a result we are running low on the basics, ammo, shelter and food,” says the ever more scrubby looking Bannon.

“Damn Putin to hell! The lying louse was supposed to back me up with shock troops, air cover and tactical nukes!” shouts Trump.

“Putin has his own troubles fighting off the Navalny revolution, Daddy,” says Ivanka.

“Swell. I’ll nuke the blue states on my own. What are the polls showing?” says Trump as he mindlessly fidgets with the aluminum pop top tab on his diet Coke.

Bannon fans through his notes and offfers, “Only 33% of our base favors the domestic nuclear option.”

“Get those assholes on Fox cracking! I need 60% approval before I can nuke California! The smug bastard Newsom is going to pay for his wanton slaying of 11,780 brave Trumptopians who perished storming Sacramento!”

“Uh, sir, that’s actually the total you needed to win Georgia. We lost more like 10,000,” says Bannon.

Everyone shouts in unison, “Never forget Sacramento!”

“Jared, you’re the money man. Congress is still a war zone. How do I raise some quick cash to fight these stubborn bastards that old coot Joe Biden and the half-breed Harris are leading to overthrow me?” says Trump pounding his pudgy fist into his meaty palm for emphasis.

“Space Force,” says Jared brightly.

“Space Force?” says a puzzled Trump. “Nah. It’ll be months until the nuclear space platform is at the ready to nuke anything.”

Jared clicks the intercom and softly says, “Send in the new Speaker of the House.”

The paneled door opens and Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, the new speaker, enters. She is dressed in the new Trumptopia military uniform. Her ill-fitting uniform bears an uncanny, though not unexpected, resemblance to the Nazi SS uniform of World War ll. Greene wields an AK-47 recklessly.

“That thing loaded?” asks Trump, trying to sounds brave.

“Of course, sir. DC is still crawling with libtards!” says Greene incredulously.

“Put your damn weapon down!” demands Trump.

“Nope. Here, I’ll just put on the lil’ old safety on my AK, Mr. President,” gushes Greene.

“I said put the god damn weapon DOWN!”

“All due respect. That’s no way to speak to your new Speaker of the House.”

Trump grabs the AK-47 and wrestles with Greene. The AK-47 erupts. Rapid fire cuts off the head of a Trump security guard. Greene finally relents to Trump. Guards cart the headless corpse off as the rattled group climb out of hiding places.

Trump sighs and gingerly stands the smoking gun against the resolute desk and says, “OK, OK, what’s this big idea you had for raising money, Greene? It better be fucking good and it better have nothing the fuck to do with asking for more dough from the My Pillow Guy. We busted that brave patriot. Poor Mikey is homeless.”

“Simple. Let’s have a crowd funder to bring down the Jewish space laser!” says Green brightly.

“But there is no such thing as a Jewish space — Oh, I get it! A new Big Lie!” says Trump, annoyed he did not think of this himself from his expression.

“May I take it from here, Majorie?” asks Jared. Greene’s happily nods. “Mr. President, this is how we reach 60% approval for the domestic nuclear option. Take a look at this iPad.”

Trump yanks the iPad from Jared. Trump’s bloodshot eyes go wide as he reads.

FUNDING GOAL $5 BILLION!

“Renewed weapons grade brainwashing with this kind of budget! I predict your new Destroy the Jewish Space Laser! crowd funder will be the most successful campaign in history, Mr. President!” beams Jared.

“But $5 billion? Aren’t we aiming a little high even for my stupid as hell fan base?” says Trump.

Ivanka pipes up, “No amount of money is too big, Daddy. Fighting the Jewish Space Laser is brave and patriotic. So in character with your mandate as our Christian war chief. What’s a measly $5 billion? You’ll raise 10 billion! You are the chosen one after all.”

“Thanks for seeing my glory, baby!” says Trump grabbing his daughter to him for a hug so amorous that it makes Jared jealous. “Greene, you have my word that I will promote you to 5 star general if your campaign to Destroy the Jewish Space Laser succeeds!”

“But I already have 5 stars, sir.” pouts Greene.

“Six stars then!” boasts Trump.

Mark Meadows pokes his head in the oval office and says,”Sir, it’s time for your fitting for your military outfit. Shall I tell the tailor you’re busy?”

“No, show my tailor in. Oops, watch the pool of blood on the rug there, Mark. Everybody else out. You have a Jewish Space Laser to defeat!”

Greene smiles and says coyly, “Now you’re talking, like my fearsome leader!”

Jared pipes up, “Fearless leader.”

“Nope. Fearsome, as in awesome.” chides Greene.

“Fearless. Fearsome means timid. Google it, you ignorant bitch!” shouts Jared.

Greene dives for her AK-47 and spins on Jared. “I knew the Jew in you was a traitor. Let me shoot him Mr. President!

“No, Margy. Jared’s family. One of the good Jews. Put down the rifle.”

Greene sags and whispers in Trump’s ear, “Never trust a Jew.”

Trump whispers back in Greene’s ear, “Never question my judgement again or you’ll be facing a firing squad.”

As Greene exits she passes Trump’s Jewish tailor who gives her the hairy eyeball.

“What are you looking at, tailor?” grouse Greene intentionally bumping into the old tailor.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” says the tailor bowing dismissively to the enraged Greene.

THE END

Trumptopia’s Fearsome Leader – Artist Unknown

All of the Trump Fever Dream stories are of course purely fictional and not meant to portray the individuals in any real way. It’s been created simply for your reading pleasure and maybe to help you realize just how lucky we might be that Trump has been pushed aside like the old fart he truly is by the voters of this great land; supported the politicians, judges, pundits brave enough to stand up to the Trump incited, or at the very least inspired, January 6th insurrection.

Stay true to yourself and those you love. – Ken Sheetz

No, Biden and Trump Did Not Switch Faces

Video and Audio of the Blog!

NO BIDEN AND TRUMP DID NOT SWITCH FACES

The title of this week’s blog (one month post-insurrection) is in response to the latest desperate attempt by Q to maintain its stranglehold on the hearts and minds of far too many gullible Americans. Q’s mind-fuck story this week? Trump and Biden have switched faces!

Q is quite simply the biggest mind control attack ever propagated on a civilian populace. And it’s frustrating as hell Q is still fucking with us without being arrested. Not my idea of freedom.

My theory is that Q was created in desperation to build a bigger base of white power. This violent, yet invisible, attack on a large segment of the American populace, vulnerable from its own sense of white privilege, was stabbed into the heart of our country through a full frontal media/advertising attack and via a sneak attack, deployed through weapons grade memes, videos and bot postings all on unregulated social media.

Spitballing freely, here are some of my wild-assed ideas of how we got into this fucking mess where nearly half the country is still lost to Q and its racist variants. Hey, the dark side doesn’t have an exclusive on theoretical BS. Well, here goes:

1. Racist Trump rose to power in the highest office in the land with help from a racist GOP. We’re all weary as AF right now because, not only we have we avoided a civil war by the skin of our teeth, but we are also fighting the remnants of Trump’s deadly herd immunity scheme. A scheme that, to my painful observation, rapidly evolved into a bio weapon when Jared learned Covid kills 3 times as many Blacks as whites.

2. Power drunk business person(s) rose to Bond-villain multi-billionaire status and used Trump as their front man. There have never been so many white oddball billionaires as now and the list is growing. Some racist player may have thought, ‘Hey, it’s cool to manipulate people to buy my rotten shit like reality TV and slave labor made tennis shoes. So why not demo the hell out of my less intelligent brother and sister whites and enslave those suckers and losers to hate and division? Divide and conquer!

3. Fact: Religion’s influence has been diminishing for decades. So might it make some sense that religious leaders might desperate enough to reverse decline by seeking to reinvent itself? It then doubles down on the magical thinking they foster in the church every Sunday. All to recruit more believers and remain in power. See THE FAMILY on Netflix to understand the huge role religion played in putting Trump in power and Pence as his obsequious as hell VP.

4. Going sci fi: An advanced alien race is harvesting angst consciousness. We sure got a lot of that today. That’d be yummy to a nasty alien consciousness getting it’s rocks off on endlessly fucking with us.

5. Going super high tech: Might the gross manipulation engender a simulated universe for one master conscious AI? All to be able to launch AI super computer realities in the form of an infinite number of lives, patterned after our own on social media?

6. Last, just the good old Ruskies looking to incite a civil war. What a comeuppance. The USA has meddled in toppling governments for a century. Perhaps seeing our Capitol sacked by Nazis might give America pause for future meddling.

You get the idea. Who the hell knows? But without question, someone or some group is fucking with human consciousness in ways we cannot grasp, only theorize about. Our collective angst on this topic has left almost half our country in a self-destructive state of mental illness; still enraged about the BIG LIE that the election was stolen from Trump by the rightfully elected Joe Biden. And watching the assholes in Congress (House) and the Senate fuel this lies in goddamn infuriating.

And no. Biden did not switch faces with Trump. The idiocy of this latest Q drop is that one only need look at the slender build of Biden to compared to the fat stack burger build of the orange deposed wannabe dictator to know its mind control nonsense. GET REAL! This is engineered cognitive dissonance, designed to insert things of the enemy’s choosing into your mind.

If you went down the rabbit hole, you must undo the Q in your life. You were sucked into a Trump cult. Seek help if you need it to break free. Only then might you see there is only one one reality here on the blue planet, one universe which we all enjoy in divergent and creative ways. Time to grow the fuck up and love reality. You’re not a kid anymore.

Consider this an invitation to be a reality proponent. Magical thinking, which I do lots of, is fine if you don’t start to buy your own stories as literal truth. Speaking of which, let’s honor all religions and all faith not as literal fact but as beautiful stories created to help us be better, not worse, people.

Trump’s Fever Dream – Chapter 8 – Trumptopia

Congratulations. If you are an American reading this blog during the final days of the Trumptopia you’re one of the lucky people not to be among the 340,000 to 420,000, depending on who is counting, to sadly and needlessly be killed off by the Corona virus in 2020.

Add to the Trumptopia 2020 shit show the nearly 20 million Americans who were infected by the maskless, feckless, freedom fighters and extra congrats if you’ve not become a long hauler. Happily, not even the ever more seditious GOP can dampen the collective joy over the good news that the mother of all polls, The Gallup, shows Trump’s popularity is falling as Biden’s rises.

All of which inspires me to create a new chapter in my ongoing blog series that began in the spring of 2020 and which might become a novel once I can make the time.

TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM – CHAPTER 8 – TRUMPTOPIA

In chapter 7 we left the Donald Trump of an alternate timeline reality. One where he was not so lucky as our reality’s Trump, who quickly recovered from Covid. — All to our collective shock given his obesity and unhealthy diet. — The orange dictator wannabe lays secretly intubated in a makeshift hospital room that was once his White House bedroom. While across the hall, the First Lady has been accidentally shot by Steve Bannon.

Melania croaks her last words to Bannon, “Tell Donald I love heem.”

Trump’s fever dream madness dissolves. He blinks his orange raccoon eyes, coming to with a loud gasp in his good old White House bedroom. He mutters in disgust at all the moving boxes that surround his bed.

Screenshot from Comedy Central Video -The President Gets Evicted From the White House

Trump yawns deeply and mumbles to himself, “Knew it. Knew it was all a bad dream when Melania said she loves me.” He turns on TV and is shocked to see Kayleigh McEnany is now a Fox News anchor.

“Morning, Fox viewers. The sad day we’ve all been dreading, January 20th 2021, is here. Despite the heroic efforts of the near unanimous vote of the GOP Congress and GOP Senators, led by GOP rival for McConnell’s throne, Ted Cruz , and a well contained Proud Boy riot on January 6th, one fortunately with no casualties, unless you count their broken hearts, the geriatric Joe Biden will be sworn in at noon today as the unlawful fake president of the not-so-United States of America. We are honored on this, my first day as the new Fox News morning anchor, to welcome the real President of the United States Donald Trump to the show… Uh, sir? Are you there, sir?”

“One sec! Forgot I was going to be on this morning.” shouts Trump as he throws on a robe that is patterned after a king’s gown. “Well, not really forgot. I am sharper than ever. Sharp as… what was I saying?”

The ON AIR sign lights up on the bedroom camera. Now Trump’s gigantic naked bone white ass is all that’s being broadcast live on FOX, which temporarily cuts to a still shot of a well coifed Trump kissing Giuliani.

Trump sweeps empty McDonald’s wrappers off his bed. His orange head a balding Boris Johnson mess, Trump jams on a Lincoln stovepipe top hat over his embarrassing hair and shouts. “Ready, Kayleigh!”

“Mr. President! Ah there you are. Looking very Abe Lincoln too. How, um… nice!” says Kayleigh painting on her famed fake smile.

“Hadn’t heard you were on FOX, Kayleigh,” says Trump coldly.

“Fox made me an offer I could not refuse, sir.”

“Fox is fake news now. I am the REAL president and this whole fake Biden/Harris inauguration thing today is a total sham. Right?” demands Trump.

“Of, of course, Mr. Real President. And I am going to be on site for your real inauguration later today.” offers Kayleigh brightly.

“I’ll never give up! I love my voters too much to ever quit. The rigged elections were stolen by the lower income working class people living in urban areas!” shouts Trump.

“Just call them Black voters, sir. Sorry, we’re trying to get the balance back into “fair and –”

“Hate to cut you short, Kayleigh, but I gotta thank all the suc, uh, brave donors who gave me over $300 million, post election day, to my Stop the Steal Campaign. A new funding record that will earn me a third Nobel. Donations still welcome at this link!” Trump lifts a poster board with his website emblazoned across it in front of his face, accidentally knocking off his stovepipe hat. His hair a beautician’s nightmare, Trump dives from sight and pops back up with the Abe hat turned sideways.

Kayleigh coughs nervously and tries to change the subject,”Um, Tell us about your real inauguration today. Why the choice of Four Season Total Landscaping for the location of your second term swearing in?”

Trump crosses his plump arms in a pout and grouses, “Did I teach you nothing, Kayleigh, while you served under me?”

“I’m sorry?”

You tell me why I selected Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Kayleigh.” says Trump tapping his chubby bare foot. “Hello! I’m waiting.”

“Um, you’re doubling down, sir? On Rudy’s presser he held between the dildo store and the crematorium?”

“Bingo! Haha! I own the libs again!” says Trump doing his YMCA dance, which minus the music is even weirder looking.

“Ooh the libtards hate you, sir!” giggles Kayleigh.

“Hey, Kayleigh, would you like your first Fox exclusive?”

“Of course, Mr. Real President.”

“The master of deal is back, Kayster! I’ve made an exclusive arrangement with Four Seasons Total Landscaping, to be the future northern White House, ” says Trump with a cocky grin.

“Um. Speechless, sir.”

“They’re putting me in the fertilizer department.” beams Trump.

“Um, uh, excellent choice to once again own the libtards. I’m curious of one thing though, Mr. President –“

“That’s Mr. Real President, ” says Trump angrily readjusting his stovepipe hat to his best crack a normal.

“I’m curious, Mr. Real President, why such a small venue? I mean the landscaper’s back alley could not possibly hold more than 100 or so of your loyal followers.”

“Duh. Simple, Kayleigh. Covid!” shouts Trump as if being louder will make his idea more understandable.

“Covid?” asks a panicky looking Kayleigh.

“I alone can save the American people from the virus. So I want my real inauguration to be intimate. You know, less people… to fight the China plague! A plague that Joe Biden’s son Hunter has brought upon our people with his illegal emails to the Ukraine.”

Not liking where this is heading Kayleigh gingerly asks,”Sir, are you still considering re-labeling this tragic killer of innocents and old people to be the Biden Virus?”

“Damn leakers. I was gonna reveal that in my inauguration speech today! Who told you about the Biden Virus?” demands Trump, with a pop on on his top hat for emphasis.

“You did, sir. Um, before I quit,” says Kayleigh with an apologetic smile.

“Right. I knew that. Knew that like Person, Man, Woman Camera, something, something. As you know, I am starting my own network. Trump TV! And it would have been the far,very far better choice for you, Kayleigh. Fox has gone too god damn liberal. Al the truthing! Disgusting!”

“The truth can really suck. I know. It”s just…”

“Just what, Kayleigh?”

“Ivanka. She’s jealous of any time I spend with you, sir.”

“Yeah, my babe, uh, baby can get catty. Can’t get enough of her Daddy dear,” says Trump distracted by a house fly.

“So I figured I able to converse with you more freely, Mr. Real President, at a network Ivanka was not, um, running.” says Kayleigh, finishing with a flirtatious smile.

Trump dives missing the fly and falls to the floor, “Got him and his little fly brother. Two flies with one blow Topped Obama again!” says Trump as the two flies buzz by the camera.

“How is the first lady taking all this?” says Kayleigh trying to move on.

“Dr. Jill? How the hell would I know?” sighs Trump then realizing what he said and quickly adding, “Right! First Lady Melania has written a poem about all this. Like me to read it?”

Off Kayleigh’s nod, Trump recites,

“A Poem the Real First Lady Melania Trump

4 years in the drafty old White House

Four years living with an arrogant louse

Get me off this fucking horse

I want a fucking dee-vorce!”

Trump says sadly, “Oh, that was Melania’s diary. My bad.”

“So sorry, Donald, I mean Mr. Real President.” says Kayleigh, wiping a tear.

“Shoulda rehearsed that poem thingee more. Nothing to be sorry about! Ladies, I am back on the market. How about a date tonight, Kayleigh?”

“Have to be double date. My husband Sean for me and any number of lucky women for you.”

“I’ll check with Kimberly!” says Trump wistfully.

“Don Jr. and Ms. Guilfolye have broken up?”

“Haha. Nope. But why settle for junior when senior’s on the market?”

Trump and Kayleigh laugh. Both have a hard time stopping and soon it awkward AF.

“Never can stay mad at you, Kayleigh Wayleighly. Wanna hear a little of my speech?” says Trump, pulling his robe tight over his bulging crotch. “This one I rehearsed, well, more like skimmed. Actually, my Black body man Robert read it to me. Did I mention Robert is Black?”

“Um, yes you have, sir. Many, many, many time.”

“Robert”s the Black guy that told me I was the best president for Black people aside from Abe Lincoln, maybe,” says Trump swatting the pair of flies away. “So mt speech. Want a taste, Kayleigh?”

“Oh my god, we at Fox News are totally honored to hear your real inauguration speech, Mr. Real President!”

Trump digs through the pile of burger wrappers, “Fuck me, where’s my fucking inauguration speech? Ah here we go! – Ahem! Four years ago we birthed Trumptopia together! This despite the mess I inherited from that Kenya born jungle bunny and –“

“If I may suggest, sir, Jungle bunny may cost your a few Black votes in 2024, sir.” says Kayleigh, sneaking a look at her watch.

Trump ignores Kayleigh and pushes on, “Now, as I begin my second terms as the real president of my ever blossoming Trumptopia, I want to give special thanks to those rascally Proud Boys for acting as my army — scratch that, I mean private security force — sponsored by My Pillow, and gathered here at Four Seasons Total Land –“

Onscreen Kayleigh listens to her earpiece and says, “Sorry to interrupt, Mr. President.”

Mr. Real President! Knew I should have given this interview to Hannity. What the fuck is so important you have the nerve to interrupt –“

“Sean has breaking news from the, um, fake inauguration. It seems fake president Joe Biden has sprained his big toe and –“

“Haha! See! See how old and feeble that old goat Biden is!” gloats Trump.

“Actually, it seems Joe sprained his toe rescuing a bus load of Trump backers from a burning Greyhound single-handidly.” says Kayleigh softly.

“Oh, “whispers Trump. The stovepipe hat falls off his bushy half bald head.

“Sorry, Mr REAL President. Over to you Sean,” says Kayleigh blowing a kiss to Trump.

The TV screen switches to a Sean Hannity who watches in amazement as Joe Biden carries a heavy Proud Boy over his shoulders off the burning Greyhound bus to be tended to by the First Lady Dr. Jill Biden.

Sean says bitterly to the camera, “Welp, there goes Trumptopia, folks!”

Trump glumly turns off the TV and starts to pack his remaining shit.

Trump’s Black body man Robert pokes his head in the bedroom door and says, “Sir, the Secret Service, insists you vacate immediately. You get dressed and leave that packing to me.”

Trump falls to his knees and prays,”Where’d I go wrong with your people, Robert?”

Robert ponders and finally finds the words, “I had to pick the moment it was, you know, after Charlottesville. When you said there were very fine people on both sides?”

Trump nods slowly. Falling tears streak his orange makeup. Trump finds a half eaten burger on the floor and attempts to eat away his sorrow.

THE END

Trump’s Fever Dream – Chapter 6 – Mt. Rushmore and the Bunker Rebels

Welcome to my Covid writing therapy project. Hope you’ve read/listened chapter 1-5. Chapter 6 audio when I can find the time.

It’s weird, – and what isn’t these Covid days ? – but have you ever noticed how many things written as fiction actually come to pass? For example the 2000 Motorola flip phone was first imagined by Gene Rodenberry for the 1966 premiere of STAR TREK.

Since April I’ve been developing TRUMP’S FEVER DREAM and, sure enough, some parts of the story are really coming to pass. Ultimately, I predict will Trump eventually contract Covid-19, as in the premise of this strange tale, one that would be a comedy were the real life tragedy of Trump’s erratic mismanagement not so sad and dangerous.

Not that I’d ever wish such an ill event on our wannbe king, but we can dream can’t we that his catching the virus, not likely as he has the testing we all dream of, might awaken his long lost conscience? Indeed, anything is possible in a world where Trump fans, gathered in the middle of a pandemic, cheer a drink of water.

CHAPTER 6 – Mt. Rushmore and the Bunker Rebels

Dr. Faucci makes a deep incision in Trump’s throat .  Blood trickles, crossing the orange tan line where Trump’s bloated chest meets his saggy neck.

Faucci says, “OK, I’ve successfully made the incision to avoid the President’s damaged throat tissue from his drinking bleach. Now you make the insertion of the ventilator tube, Dr. Edwards.” Dr. Edwards takes over the operation,

Ivanka, sporting the latest Paris fashion Covid mask, rises to her feet along with the mask wearing Jared when Dr. Faucci exits the surgery room. She asks nervously, “Doctor, is my Daddy going to pull through?”

Dr. Faucci sighs deeply and wipes sweat from his forehead, “A tracheotomy is an relatively easy procedure. My real concern is that your father hid his catching virus for too long.”

“That’s no answer, Tony!” blurts Jared, his normally high pitched feeble voice nearly inaudible beneath his red, white and blue mask.

Dr. Faucci ignores Jared and addresses Ivanka, “Your father’s odds of a recovery are quite low. And if he does ever recover, he may be in a shape where can no longer serve as president.”

Ivanka spins to sob on Jared’s tiny chest.

In the adjacent operating room, dead to the real world, Trump does not stir on the operating table as Dr. Edwards inserts the air tube in Faucci’s tracheotomy incision. The operating room fades from view as the White House Bunker fades into view…

Nestled safely in his bunker, the real world a forgotten memory, Trump does his best presidential poker face as his advisors wrangle with a new series of more violent protests.

Larry Kudlow gasps as on the big screen array of BLM protestors use a stolen city bus to flatten the White House fence. The angry mob charges the heavily armed Secret Service Agents.

Barr says, “Relax, Larry.  Our secret troops learned in Portland how to put these dogs to sleep.”

“Relax? This is revolution! And we all know what happens to the player in an old regime, especially one as cruel as ours,” croaks Larry.

Trump laughs at Larry and says, “Chill, Larry. Theses walls of this vault are 6 feet thick, or something like that kinda thickness. Tremendously thick walls.  And we have all the comforts of home here. The best champagne.  The best caviar.  Bobby’s secret service troops are handpicked for their –”

On screen the Federal Troops lay down their weapons and the angry mob races past them.

“What in Holy Hell?” shouts Trump, cracking one of TV screens with his tiny fists.

The Director of the Secretive Service, James Murray, calmly says to the gasping Trump, “Not to worry, sir. Like you just said, in your genius way, the rioters cannot possibly reach us down here.”

“Right. The lowlifes have zero chance, sir!” shouts Miller, almost making a Nazi salute, which he fakes into a stretch.

“Let’s get back to talking about my new fantastic Mt. Rushmore monument to the greatest presidency ever! Mine!” says Trump imperiously. “Tell me about getting head, Kayleigh.”

The men all laugh at Trump’s sexist joke, while Kayleigh does her best to hide her disgust She rolls a model of Mt Rushmore into the bunker conference room. “Mr. President, I afraid the Rushmore survey ream has determined that there is not enough structural integrity to the surrounding rock to add an your incredible face.”

“I am not happy about this, Kayleigh!” grumps Trump, folding his arms across his big belly.

Screen Shot 2020-08-09 at 5.03.13 PM

“It’s OK, Mr. President. We have a solution…” Kayleigh loses her train of thought as on the big screen a mass of militant protestors take baseball bats to the badly outnumbered Federal troops.  Many protestors fall and die under heavy gunfire from the troops, but an endless stream bat and machete wielding protestors take their place in the bloody battle for the White House.

“Go on Kayleigh. Don’t worry about the losers up there. Nigger scum.” snarls Steve Miller.

“The losers can’t reach us. Go on, Kayleigh. Give me some head!” chuckles Trump.

Mastering her outrage Kayleigh says, “Well, it’s simple. All we have to do is re-chisel one of the four heads into your amazing image, sir.  All that remains is for you to pick who you want to replace. Who shall it be, Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt or Lincoln, sir?”

Trump relishes at this historic decision making moment, spinning around and around in his larger than anyone else’s leather chair, and finally decreeing,”Q-Anon calls me the greatest civil rights leader of all time. Lowest unemployment for blacks ever, before the Covid started killing them off like flies, so I pick to replace the head of Abraham Lincoln be replaced by my very own much more handsome face. My base will love it and my haters can eat shit and die.”

Barr offers obsequiously, “Brilliant choice as always, sir!  It’s true you have supplanted Lincoln in the hearts of the people after all!”

The gathering of white men plus one frustrated woman in Kayleigh give Trump a standing ovation.

For a split-second Trump is back in the real world as surgical team tech turns the breathing machine on. Trump heartbeat stops on the monitor. Dr. Fauci takes up shock paddles and shouts, “Clear!”

Shocked back into his bunker fever dream Trump point at the security monitor and bellows, “What?! The niggers are in my Oval offices!”

Trump and his team watch helplessly as security TV screen shows a rush of protestors of all races and creeds swarm into the Oval Office

Trump demands, “Murray, set off the self-destrust bomb and blow the fucking Antifa anarchists off the face of the earth!”

Murray pleadingly turns to Barr who coldly nods for him to carry out Trump’s command. “You heard the president.”

Turning to the monitors, where the Resolute Desk is set aflame, Murray anguishes and finally croaks, “I respectfully decline to carry out your orders to blow up the  protestors, sir. You have my resignation.”

Trump spins to Defense Secretary Esper and roars, “Esper, wipe out these fucking terrorists!”

“These are American citizen’s, Mr. President. I respectfully refuse and resign as well,”

“Where are our Portland shock and awe troops?!”shouts Miller

“In transit to Milwaukee,” answers Barr.

“Well, get them here it DC pronto! Seen this Tweet?” says Trump, jamming a cell phone in Barr’s saggy fat face.

The gaggle white men crowd around Trump’s cell phone that reads:

“Lynch the #BunkerBaby!

“The bastards are still calling me BunkerBaby again, even after I crushed them in Lafayette Square!”

“Um, sir, my mom taught me sticks and stones may break –”

“Shut the fuck up! Sageant Cosco, escort these traitor my bunker!”

“Name’s Rosco. Mr. President, and I am afraid Mr. Esper and Mr. Murray cannot leave as we’re sealed in.”

“Look, COSCO. No one’s in the hallway!” shouts Trump.

“Now. But, sir the 2 ton door operates slowly by the time we see rioters we could –”

“Break the seal!” demands Trump.

“– be fucked.” finishes Sergeant Rosco feebly. “I will remind the president that there is angry mob right outside the vault door! Open it and you could kills us all.”

Trump defiantly pushes the open button and gloats, “Fuck off. Want something done right you, um, something something. ”

Miller takes charge, “Seargent Rosco remove, Mr. Esper and Mr. Murray from my bunker or you’re facing a firing squad for disobeying your commander and chief!”

Trump beams and he proclaims ,“All clear! As Winston, uh, Church-something, the Brit guy,  once said we have nothing to fear but, ah, fuck it –”

Gunfire erupts as mob of rioters race up the long hall for the open bunker door.

“Seal the bunker! Protect the presi –” Sergeant Rosco falls to the marble floor, bullet hole in the center of his forehead.

Kayliegh shouts to the mob, “Power to the people. I am not with the dictator sexist, racist Trump anymore!”

The protestors get such a kick out of Trump’s sad reaction to Kayleigh’s betrayal they let her slip away.

An angry Black man races up to a screaming Trump and raises a bloody hatchet.

Trump begs on his knees, “Black lives matter!  Praise Jesus! Black live matter! Spare me and I’ll sign any law you want!”

Trump curls in a ball and weeps like a baby sucking his thumbs, eyes slammed shut waiting for a death blow.

The angry black man laughs saying, “Pathetic!” as he plant the axe in Trump’s orange head.  Blood gushes and all goes black.  Faintly the beep of a life monitor gets louder and Trump’s eyes flicker open.

Thrilled to be back in the real world where he on life support, Trump peeps open his eyes to see his loyal personal Black attendant Robert reading the newspaper beside his hospital bed. Trumps bloodshot feverish eyes close.

We see the Robert’s Washington Post’s headline reads:

PRESIDENT CONTRACTS VIRUS. LIFE HANGS BY THREAD!

The End