Heart attack.

That’s right.  Heart attack by overeating. And not just for Trump, but I get ahead of myself.

Trump’s dangling a cabinet spot before Dr. Ronnie Jackson’s nose smells of coercion for the rigging of the POTUS’s annual physical. No way Trump tips the scales at a hilarious 239 pounds. Lying about health is not healthy for Donald Trump nor America.

Karma, in The Donald’s obese case, could lead to… sing it Billy!

Not wishful thinking on my part. I actually want Trump to live out his term or, God forbid, impeachment. I say “God forbid” because can you imagine the wave of conspiracy theories and hard feelings his impeachment would result in? Seriously, it’s not worth booting Trump IMHO if it reboots The Civil War.

Guys, take it from a man who’s meditated far too long on the meaning of Trump showing up so prominently in our lives, it’s pointless to stress over Trump and his childish antics. Even if he lasts 2 full terms, likely at this point if the economy Obama rebuilt he’s coasting on holds. Heck, that’s less than a blink of an eye in the planet’s 5 billion year life so far. All the drama in the 24/7 news cycle every time he tweets some idiocy is just a big old ratings gimmick.

Let’s take a fear that pops up in various forms in liberal media: “Trump and his “deplorables”( according Trump arch nemesis Hilary)  followers are taking us down the road to an American-Nazi regime!”  Hello. America practically invented genocide, wiping out millions of  Native Americans long before the Nazis were even a twinkle in Hitler’s evil eye.

Look on the bright side: Trump looks to be here to ring out the old and stimulate the new into action. That’s if he does not commit suicide by Mac Attack. Give him this, he’s shinning the light, albeit unintentionally, in dark place of the American psyche that needs healing, all the way back to the founding fathers; many of whom were slave owners.

And speaking of liberal overkill on outrage, shame on Samantha Bee for calling Ivanka the C word. Liberals, since the other side of the political family, currently the bad boys, must lead by example, not play in the same mud as Trump. Bee should be fired IMHO.

And while we are getting real, let’s give equal time to conservative mania in the media.  Sorry Trump fans, Jared is not bringing peace to the Middle East, Ivanka is not a champion of women’s rights and no way Trump is to going bully his way to a Nobel in North Korea peace talks.  Off as of this post.

Yeah. Let’s all get really real: Liberals and their Trumped up outrage, and Conservatives, placing Trump on a shaky pedestal founded in wishful thinking, are both wrong! I am lucky enough to call a few billionaires friends and I assure you, all are quite mortal and petty at times. Money does not make anyone smart, which Trump exhibits for us daily.

Why on earth would anyone want to emulate Trump in the first place?  I mean, the overeating, and oversexed old guy is miserable. And it shows from the Michael Cohen clean up reports that Donald all too often pays big time for his sexcapades. The sad result? Trump’s marriage to Melania is a train wreck.

Cue Melania hand swat video!

Off attacks of the heart and back onto heart attacks. Coronaries are simple eating physics: Fatty foods + lack of exercise = stroke or death by clogged arteries. Next, for good measure, toss in Trump’s severe anger issues (a sad sign of the onset of dementia) into the equation and you wonder why the Don’s not already stroked out and drooling in a presidential wheelchair.

Read more at WebMD about the link of anger to heart attacks.

Heck, want proof Dr. Jackson is likely a big fat liar about Trump’s odds of buying the farm before he can undo all of Obama’s legacy? Look no further than Trump’s 2016 doctor, the eccentric Dr. Bornstein. Currently on the outs with Trump for blabbing about the POTUS using propecia for his bald spot(s). Cosmic justice for letting Trump dictate his own 2016 checkup for the enabling Bornstein.

Now let’s talk about the dozen diet Cokes Trump reportedly drinks daily. Studies show diet drink are bad for the brain and may even cause cancer. Steady use of diet pop can leads to dementia; as this AARP story outlines. The same disorder that killed Regan, Mr. President, if you’re reading. Yeah, right.  As if. LOL.

My theory is Trump’s cannot start his workday until 11AM because his health is so feeble that he spends mornings as a couch potato, watching of the GMO of mind control Fox & Friends, while he drifts in and out of slumber. Here’s a short film on Trump’s shortness of breath example that will leave you breathless.

Now that’s a SAD video.  Unfortunately, I am something of an expert heart failure symptoms because I landed in the hospital for my wakeup call just 10 weeks ago. All brought on by an overeating contest with my love’s millennial. Still what I downed was organic, nothing approaching Trump’s crazy GMO diet.

Just saying, my recent horrors of the heart give me an edge seeing Trump is on the road to ruin. Let me tell you, dear reader, it’s weird as hell to feel your life’s flame get so low in heart failure that a puff of air could blow out your candle. After my wakeup call, complete with an ER visit, my doctor suggested, along with putting me on 6 medications, that I drop 40 pounds to get in optimal cardio shape. My current weight? I am down to 239 pounds from 247. How’s that for a weird coincidence? Difference is I am a real 239, Trump is not.

Scaling up with how I currently look, fatter than I’ve ever been in my life, just as fat as Trump at 239 pounds, but given he’s 3 inches taller than me, my guess is Trump’s true weight is more like 270- 280. Make your guess in comments below as to #Trumpsrealweight. If we ever learn the truth I’ll send the closest guesser a free CoolestMeditationEver.com t-shirt.

We all know Trump has ego issues. That’s why he’s not seeing he is being bad role model for we already obese Americans.  His eating habits are toxic.  Here’s great video here of two people feeling ill effects after just one day of eating like Trump.

Urp!  Now, fans of my planetary meditations, where I delve deep into the real and imagined worlds, might not know that I’ve earned a living from time to time as a paid political humorist. And I have a hit 2000 PBS show that led into the Bush/Gore debates plus a #1 in it’s niche 2008 Amazon DVD to prove it.

But please take me deadly serious when I warn Trump’s bad eating will, by bad example, kill more Americans than anything else he bumbles or blusters his way through during his troubled presidency, short of nuclear war with the equally out of shape Kim Jong Un. Please, fans and friends, especailly ME!, don’t eat like Trump!

So, what do you think?  Should the GOP seek to reign in Trump’s horrible eating habits to save American lives and to preserve their chance for an 8 year run for their man?

OK. I hear you, dear readers, “Get real, Sheetz. Do you really believe a man who must always have two scoops of ice cream with his desert will ever listen to anything but his own stomach?

— Fat chance.”